[Ibelieve]

Ibelieve, you do have to remember that not everyone has ALL the same negatives.  I have a hard time when I read all the obvious affair down scenarios.  In so many ways, my H picked someone who is better than me, smarter, prettier, younger, she was some kind of beauty pageant winner, even and has a PhD...  BUT, she was still willing to have an affair with a married father--no matter how pretty or smart, something is not right inside.  And my H is not horribly mean either--but it's still MLC, he is not himself, I know that for sure.

Some of the dumbest people I have ever met and known have had PhD's and some of the smartest have barely a high school education.  As you said it doesn't matter their education, their looks (which will eventually fade), their age (we ALL get older) there's something not right inside.  I know a woman who's a received her Psychology PhD from Harvard and she's one of the most insecure people I know.  She's perpetually reliving her college years like she's still in a sorority.  Always having R trouble.  She works with OCD and stress disorders yet she can't handle her own life very well.    To me she's still an affair down.  You can pretty her up but she still has a lot of issues.  Sorry, if this sounds harsh or offensive. 

Lisa,  Truth seeker,
Thanks so much for reminding me of that.. I use to say that all the time, even to H... "How can she be a good person if she stole your Wife from you.. She can't be very decent if it doesn't bother her that she (both of you) turned two families upside down" I had forgotten about that for a while. Needed the reminder.