[I believe in angels]

Me and my boys are at my patents Xmas day and boxing day. All my family come round to my parents boxing day and we have such a great time.

My h had asked me if he can see the boys sometime Xmas day but as he has always said we should ask the boys what they want to do (one of his parent issues I think), I asked them. S12 said ge dud not want to go round to h house and he would call him and s11 said he did not care what he did.

Not sure what h thinks but he is either going to accept that or not, we shall see what occurs this w/end. I personally think the boys should see him but I will not force them to do something they don't want to do. Hopefully h will have a talk with them this w/end. I am not sorting it out for him, it is up to him to sort out.

[whatever]

Coming up is my 3rd Christmas since h left.  The first Christmas was a disaster.  He came and s18 at the time gave h a picture frame filled with pictures of all of us together (I didn't know he was going to do that).  Then h wanted to leave and the kids begged him not to leave I went over because D15 at the time was hanging on him to get him to stay, h ended up pushing me away and then S18 punched his dad in the face and said don't ever touch my mom again.    

Fast forward to the next Christmas.  No sign of h at all but we bought joint gifts. 

This Christmas he says he's coming the day after Christmas for a couple days.  kids are heartbroken.  I actually made plans to do something else Christmas day because I thought he was coming on Christmas day and I didn't want to be at home.  He is buying his own presents for the kids.  He asked me what I wanted I said nothing from him.  I have to admit I bought something I knew he was going to like for D17 to give to him.  When I told h that I would leave on Christmas if he wanted to come and spend it with the kids he said well you don't have to leave.