[jazzy03]

1) The speech - I love you but I'm not in love with you
2) Spending money and maxing out all credit cards
3) Personality change. Outgoing guy sinks into a deep depression. Dead look in his eyes. Always tired, no motivation.
4) "I don't feel anything"
5) Seeking validation from social media
6) Emotional Affair
7) Working long hours and took no time for himself. Lost interest in hobbies.
Has no actual friends that he reaches out to. Maybe online,  but does nothing with them in person.
9) Came home and did nothing. Sat on his chair and scrolled through his phone for hours. Watched TV for hours.
10) Said very few words to me on a daily basis., Blamed me for problems in the marriage. Never took responsibility for his own actions.

[Thunder]

You are describing a Low Energy Wallower.

They don't usually have the energy to do much more than Wallow.   

[Nas]

Gosh yes, I'd forgotten the shark eyes....
My h went from dead empty eyes, pretty standard for severe depression, to those dark shark eyes just before he announced that 'divorce was the only option'. I have seen the dead eyes in myself and others who are depressed but had never seen the shark eyes until I saw them in my then h. Oh, and the small smirk that goes with them that tells you a bit of them gets a kick from hurting you.

OMG, that smirk.
My brother referred to him as "smug" all of a sudden.  Because everyone saw the smirk.
The shark eyes...there was a whole thread about it once.  They are startling, and to think that some people just don't even notice it, it's like how can you not see that this person's eyes are like ALL PUPIL? 
I once posted an article about how depression shows through the eyes.  I'll see if I can dig it up again, it was really interesting.

[Finding Joy]

1. Obsessed with the mirror and shaving his whole body.
2. Feels nothing for anyone/is unsure if he is capable of being in a relationship.
3. Monster/blames me for everything
4. Very distant from the whole family
5.  EA and then PA
6.  Listening to love songs constantly
7.  How he dresses/even a beaded bracelet.

It goes on and on.  I think he has practically done it all.  Except so far, as far as I know he has not gone into debt and has left me to handle all finances.

[Milly]

 
 - Distancing himself even from our S whom he used to spend every weekend with.
 - Walked around the house with dark sunglasses and headphones so we couldn't even find him when it was time for dinner. He couldn't hear us calling him, or so he claimed.
 - Going out drinking with the guys all weekend every weekend for a couple of years up to BD.
 - Working out obsessively and publicly, even when we went to the US to help with his sister who was very sick, he stood in the garden in full view of everyone, in tight shorts and T-shirt lifting weights.
- The shark eyes. His eyes are blue, so really strange when they're black.
 - Saying stupid stuff like: First let's get a divorce, then we can talk about getting back together again.
 - The (what he thought was) a much younger OW. She told him she was 33 when they met.
 - The sport's car.
 - Massive debt and growing.
 - Used to dress very casually: jeans, T-shirt, gym shoes. After BD, dressed up like an Armani poster even to go to the supermarket. Specifically odd: very tight T-shirts, very small tight leather jacket, shoes teenagers wear, always a scarf knotted around his neck (inserted into a loop, not tied as that apparently is a sign of having no taste), the man bag.
 - Using only abbreviations and emojis instead of 'talking' in texts.
 - No punctuation at all when writing. Sentences start mid way, no capitals, no full stop, no greeting at the beginning or the end.
 - The one time he went to my IC about our S, he spoke only about himself and said he had this incredible urge to escape/run away.

I am certain my H is having a MLC.

[Nas]

1. Obsessed with the mirror and shaving his whole body.
2. Feels nothing for anyone/is unsure if he is capable of being in a relationship.
3. Monster/blames me for everything
4. Very distant from the whole family
5.  EA and then PA
6.  Listening to love songs constantly
7.  How he dresses/even a beaded bracelet.

It goes on and on.  I think he has practically done it all.  Except so far, as far as I know he has not gone into debt and has left me to handle all finances.

Isn't it funny how it seems common for them to have said they feel nothing for anyone and yet at the time they say that, they've usually already started an affair?

[nah]

1. Obsessed with the mirror and shaving his whole body.
2. Feels nothing for anyone/is unsure if he is capable of being in a relationship.
3. Monster/blames me for everything
4. Very distant from the whole family
5.  EA and then PA
6.  Listening to love songs constantly
7.  How he dresses/even a beaded bracelet.

It goes on and on.  I think he has practically done it all.  Except so far, as far as I know he has not gone into debt and has left me to handle all finances.

Isn't it funny how it seems common for them to have said they feel nothing for anyone and yet at the time they say that, they've usually already started an affair?

Not really. I have found over the years, without realizing it, they often sprinkle some truth into their lies.

Their affair partner is someone they use, that’s it.

[Disillusioned]

STBXW ticked all the boxes.  Heck, I even showed her an MLC check list with all the boxes filled out.  LOL  I had done something similar a year before with an affair checklist.  She'd scored nearly 100% on there, but she deflected and gaslit me.  Well, we all know how that story ends...

1.  Shark eyes
2.  Blamed (blames) me for everything wrong in the marriage
3.  EA at work with MOM (She says EA.  Not convinced.)
4.  Bought a red car after only owning silver or shades of blue over the last 20 years
5.  Going out with single, younger people from work
6.  Constant working out
7.  Horrible monstering with some really abusive comments
8.  Totally new wardrobe for new job.  A lot of skin tight clothing.  She's 47.
9.  Moved into spare room
10.  Took off wedding ring.
11.  Contradictory comments as well as breadcrumbing
12.  Joked about having an MLC in counseling
13.  I got a twist on ILYBNILWY - "If I could say ILYBNILWY, that might mean something..."
14.  The smirk

Plenty of other items on these lists that she does/did.  I'm getting a little flooded just thinking about it and writing it!   

[Finding Joy]

Disillusioned-I hate the smirk.

[Disillusioned]

FJ - the time that is emblazoned in my mind is when she sat down in mediation and dropped an appraisal on our house in front of me that was somewhere $80,000.00 south of the current value.  All done up professionally by a local real estate agent.  She smirked when she put it down, like she was pulling a fast one.  Problem is: I called her out on it for not providing it before hand.  She'd had it done nearly a month prior.  I told her it was ridiculously low, but had she provided it before the session, I might have had a counter offer ready for her.  I told her I was providing her with all documentation ahead of session.  The mediator agreed and had us verbally agree to not withholding information moving forward, despite the fact that I wasn't and had no intention of doing so.