[jacs]

As a newbie, your sister has given me the most invaluable insight. I'm not in a good place but it would be far worse without the insight your sister has given.  For that I will be forever grateful x

[megogirl]

The guy who killed my father, did so while my father was asleep. He smashed my father’s skull in with a huge rock.

He got involuntary manslaughter.

Terra, how is that even possible?

How could smashing someone's skull using a rock ever be considered "involuntary?"

[megogirl]

ShockSis

This was something busy_bee wrote about her ex.  It is short, succinct, and smart.

" What if I tell you that I felt NOTHING for my husband?
I wanted him to disappear
I wanted him to leave me alone
I wanted him to just go away and don't bother me
I didn't love him anymore and I was SURE i never will

Time.....

After 5 year
I'd give everything just for him to hold my hand
I'd give anything for him just to be with me
I'd give anything to get his attention

Does any of this sound familiar?

[Shockandawe]

Hi Mego

Yes that is exactly how it is.
MLC is a void. A big, black vacuum sucking every good feeling and emotion from you. It sucks them down into the depths of your soul and covers them in a deep blanket of fog.
It replaced the love I had and put hatred in its place. It took away my feelings and swapped them for a fake love. Fantasy replaced reality. Indifference followed.
Slowly reality crept in, bit by bit but a battle was raging between the real me and the movie star me.
Once I couldn’t fight back the reality it burst the dam wall and everything came crashing back through. Slowly I began to process the train wreck I had been the driver of and the full awfulness hit along with full awakening.
I knew I loved my ex h and still do.

[Bewildered survivor]

SS sorry if this has been asked already- I couldn’t find anything. Do you have much memory of when the fog started to descend and feelings of numbness towards your H started? Did you wake up one morning with no feelings or was it a gradual process? Did you have any awareness or clarity at the time and did you question how those feeling could just disappear? Or is that something you understand now in hindsight?

[megogirl]

ShockSis

Today marks 2 months since my XH "remarried", and I am now just trying to gauge what ran through his mind that day.

I just looked at the pictures again, and his eyes were indeed black and huge.  RCR has indicated that the "Prisoner" personality drives the affair.  But which personality drives a whole "re-marriage?"  Which personality donned his suit that day?  Which personality was standing for all of the pictures, complete with a minister?

And, why didn't he have a single "Pocket of clarity" throughout all of this?  (I suppose it's possible that he did have one, but just brushed it off.)

Just trying to make sense of the senseless

Thank you, mego xxx

[rosetintedglasses]

Been loving your input here Mego. Thanks for bringing that over from Bee’s thread. Great response Sis. Our issue Mego is that our MLCers are men and there’s a difference with men in MLC V female MLC (although there will be exceptions). It was a great read though.

Also liked this:

Just trying to make sense of the senseless

I too have been trying that and decided I need to stop trying to understand this and just accept it. I’ve been trying for years now and can’t understand it but it’s happening right under my nose so I may as well accept it and move on (with my thoughts). 

I just read stayeds Husbands letter again. It’s good as it’s a male MLC.  He says not to focus on them. When you do, it helps them continue with their fairytale life.

Rose 🌹

[megogirl]

Thanx for the shout, Rose xxx

I just read Stayed's Husbands letter again, too.  It's gold.  I have it printed out, and it's in my binder.

Male and female MLCs are different yes, but I've also found that their hallmarks are very, very similar.  For example, Stayed's H mentioned feeling as if he was "in a movie."  ShockSis reported the same - that she had a "movie star" persona, and life.

Obviously I follow the stories of recovered MLC'ers very, very closely.  Partly because our lives have been turned upside-down, and partly because I find the whole thing pretty fascinating.

[rosetintedglasses]

Male and female MLCs are different yes, but I've also found that their hallmarks are very, very similar.  For example, Stayed's H mentioned feeling as if he was "in a movie."  ShockSis reported the same - that she had a "movie star" persona, and life.

Obviously I follow the stories of recovered MLC'ers very, very closely.  Partly because our lives have been turned upside-down, and partly because I find the whole thing pretty fascinating.

Yes you’re right, it’s comforting reading that I think as it’s such an insight. I think that men can take longer, usually leave the house and don’t have the same connection with their friends as women do so when they eventually are ready to listen there’s not the same environment. Yes it’s fascinating, if it wasn’t so devastating I would love to know more. It’s healthier at my stage to focus on the fascination that is my children!

Rose 🌹

[megogirl]

Yes it’s fascinating, if it wasn’t so devastating I would love to know more. It’s healthier at my stage to focus on the fascination that is my children!

True dat....but it is my quest for S16 not to hail from a broken home that keeps me Standing.  So in an odd way, I AM focused on my child!