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Author Topic: MLC Monster Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9

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MLC Monster Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
OP: September 29, 2019, 08:18:06 AM
Hi All,

As requested another new thread. I will work my way through your questions so please bare with me.


Previous thread:  https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11094.0
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« Last Edit: September 29, 2019, 09:54:31 AM by Thunder »
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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#1: September 29, 2019, 08:25:01 AM
Hi Bewildered

The fog came on gradually and slowly. I was in shock at the death of my Father and because I didn’t get to the hospital in time I began to blame my ex h. The fog began to descend with moments of me being sure if my ex h hadn’t been doing something else he would have got me to the hospital. That he was to blame. As time went by the fog was with me more and more and the feelings for my ex h began to disappear. The fog made me feel justified in my fast growing hatred toward my ex h.
Looking back now I know I did love him but couldn’t access that love because the fog was a barrier.
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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#2: September 29, 2019, 08:30:43 AM
Hi Mego

I don’t doubt his eyes are black and it wouldn’t surprise me if the ow was a manipulative person who wanted a wedding so had one. Vulnerable and easier to hand over decisions to the affair partner is what these manipulative people do.
I didn’t want to re marry I didn’t want a divorce but my ex h married a manipulator and I know that he isn’t happy.
Just try to let go for now Mego.
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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#3: September 29, 2019, 08:37:36 AM
Shocks sis and all — there is literally a passage in the Bible about the darkened eyes. So this is a very old and natural and acknowledged aspect, although in current time I suspect it also likely indicates substance abuse.

I was astounded when I discovered that passage last week. When I find it again, I will post it here for you.

No questions from me today, just stopping by to say that about the Bible passage and to welcome you to your new thread.
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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#4: September 29, 2019, 08:43:41 AM
Thank you so much for continuing!! I find your onsite very valuable.

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M 54
H 49
M 12 years; together 17 years
D19, S29
Summer 2014 - H wanted to runaway
9/14 I was diagnosed with Breast cancer
11/14 Surgery for BC..3 day after my father dies
11/14 BD 2 days after surgery. I have no passion for you.
2/15 moved out
Dated each other all year affection back on..
3/16 moved home
7/16 Diagnosed with Breast cancer again
8/16 No affection again. I knew something was wrong.
9/16 Another surgery for Breast Cancer
9/16 BD 11 days after surgery discovered -EA with much younger W from Work. That is over. I think he has meaningless flings. Work is his mistress
10/16 I filed for D (financial reasons)
10/16 I moved out.
10/16 vanisher
5/17 Divorce final
M
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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#5: September 29, 2019, 08:44:54 AM
Good to see you back SS.

Thanks for continuing to share your experience and answering questions. Its provided me with invaluable insight into what may be going on with my MLCer and the best way to deal with it.

Thanks again....MK
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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#6: September 29, 2019, 10:05:23 AM
Hi Terra, Shelley and McKnight,

I’m glad to be of help getting some kind of understanding on this awful situation. Terra I look forward to reading the passage.
I will be around as much as I can.
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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#7: September 29, 2019, 10:14:19 AM
Hi ShockSis
Someone here pointed me in the direction of limerence https://www.marriageradio.com/the-3-phases-of-limerence-joe-beam, both for the spouse/ow relationship but also perhaps part of what happens in the LBS's head after their spouse leaves as a kind of attachment reaction.

Looking at it, the description of how people behave in limerence does look like a lot of the MLC behaviour we see on HS. Do you think your MLC was about more than this or is limerence just another way of describing the same thing?
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.


"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg
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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#8: September 29, 2019, 12:42:05 PM
Attaching...
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M: 49
W: 40
Married 1 year together 3.5 years
No kids but we have dogs
BD: 7th September 2019 (although lots of signs for previous 4 months)
EA with old school friend who appears to also be going through MLC for at least 4 months and I think OW since at least August
I have a wealth of experience of MLC (which I'd rather not have) - my previous long-term R (17 years, including 6 months of marriage) ended in D in July 2015 because I wanted to end it as it was an abusive R
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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#9: September 29, 2019, 01:12:23 PM
Attaching to your new thread, Shocks sis. Thank you so much for continuing to answer our questions.
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D26, D23, S16
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.
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