Good day all,
TNT, you are correct. There is no room here for the likes of Stayed and myself, in my opinion. I saw the writing on the wall some time ago and made the decision to quit being a mod, to stop posting for the most part and certainly to quit long writings and our discussion threads. I am speaking only for myself in the following:
Yes, the tone has changed. And an organization's tone starts at the top. As OP noted, RCR has a large family and spends limited time here. She has certainly not been writing much of late on the forum resources. Anjae used to ask her repeatedly to write new articles and update writings already posted. Some even quietly whispered that she was becoming an absentee landlord whose building was falling into decay, that she had moved on with her life and MLC was no longer a relevant part, and surely she would fold up the site soon. And who could blame her? Hasn't she given enough? And now has to waste her time refereeing perceived slights between supposed adults just to ensure this is a "safe enough haven" for all those who come here?
Some Old Timers watched as the focus changed from the old balanced approach of get people on their feet while also helping them to heal to this powdery encouragement recognizing and affirming entitlement and victimhood for fear of offending anyone.
The pendulum had swung too far to one side. The balance is gone. And it's not coming back. Yes, in my opinion.
So, yes OP, there are more posters and fewer Mods. In my opinion, Kikki is correct in asking if that isn't the result of a changed atmosphere. And, yes, on this thread there are several former Mods who came back to post who at one time had influence but are critical of the forum as it stands. I am one of those. But I'd disagree that anyone bent over backwards for us. Our influence was earned. We invested countless hours here. We gave our time, money, and skills all while we were putting our lives back together and we had jobs, children, careers, significant others, health issues, and fought to pay our bills and make a life for ourselves. We balanced all that and were still here.
We banged our heads on the wall over and over. It looks months of fighting to add financial protection to the discussion even after dozens of old timers were financially devastated by taking the advice to let the MLCer own the divorce. It took years to change other things including the reassurance that MLC takes 3, 5, 7, no maybe 10 years, and MLCers will come through and want to reconcile even in the face of a decade of experience suggesting that may not be true. We stuck our necks out when the clique quietly hinted so and so is a problem. Yes, Nah you were never a traditional stander. And there were people here who wanted you sanctioned during the meNow heyday of you finding yourself. And people that defended you, who fought for you so you could have room to be nontraditional. And that came at a cost to those in time, emotion, hurt feelings, and reputation. One of us got tagged with the stereotype of mean during that time which has stuck all these years later. Now anything she says is seen through that label. We were also the ones who were so mean yet cared enough to have welfare checks done on people who threatened suicide while others sat by. But Bent over backwards for? No. And we didnt do it for thanks or appreciation. We did it because we cared and believed in the forum of that time and the people here.
Yet we weren't supported or in a lot of cases. And it has nothing to do with the strawman argument that no one can please everyone. Certain people's repeated behavior was excused repeatedly. And is still excused regardless of the code of conduct. The high school clique is not only still alive and well but growing stronger. One still can't disagree with some without being accused of being mean or argumentative. That's not bending over backwards. That's conflict avoidant codependent enabling and paving a clear path to becoming a victim of MLC which allows MLC to define one's life. Yes, in my opinion.
So, no, please don't expect me to be quietly loyal to this forum as it is today, so very far from the things I was taught when I first came here. The forum I spent so much, time energy, effort, and money to support the people here.
It's that I'm tired of banging my head on the wall when it's clear the direction of the forum changed. Anjae is the last that felt it was worth it and now she's gone. No one dueled with Anjae long than I have. And yet neither one of us resorted to telling mommy. We agreed on some things, disagreed on others, and had thought provoking conversations that dozens of posters participated in. Those conversations expanded thoughts, gave others a way to let off steam, and distract them from the zoo MLC had turned their lives into, for a few minutes.
It's interesting to this law professor the people who say there must be order and rules. That's true. However, tenets of law dictate that the rules apply to all fairly, that like actions are punished in like fashion, and that punishment fits the action and intent. That includes posters and mods. That's lacking. Yes, in my opinion.
XYZCF asked who will be next. And her question was brushed off, ignored. Yet a few posts farther down a Mod notes there are certain posters she thinks need addressed, that they are inappropriate and argumentative. Another Mod comes later and agrees with her. What does that say?
Someone mentioned change or become a dinosaur. Fine. But, I'd rather be an dinosaur that's honest and true to my values than quietly say nothing when wrong is done to another. And so, yes, we are back to the original thought by TNT, that there is no room for people like myself here. And I'm fine with that, because my life isn't defined by MLC.
Lp
if people won’t listen to you, there’s no point in talking to people. If they won’t listen, you’re just banging your head against a wall.
Sadly Ive used up all the time I had allotted to spend banging my head on the wall
Author
Topic: 
Anjae