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Author Topic: Mirror-Work Your Bare Minimum

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Mirror-Work Re: Your Bare Minimum
#20: May 14, 2011, 11:32:41 AM
Simple, well, sort of... ;D

Honesty and remorse.... to start.

with more to follow as time (& MLC) goes on.
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"Midway upon the journey of life, I found myself within a forest dark For the straightforward path had been lost"

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Re: Your Bare Minimum
#21: May 23, 2011, 07:14:54 AM
I've been thinking about my bare minimum.

1. I want H to acknowledge that his R with OW was highly destructive for our M, totally unacceptable, and cannot happen again.
2. I want him to promise me that he will work on our R, and be committed to it.
3. I want to have an equal and honest R, balanced with work.

And I know that I am far off this. H is happy to be here, uncommitted, taking time off when he needs, going out with OW when she can (but the poor thing is so overworked, and has so many commitments, , esp with new bf, that she just can't find the time....). He puts work first, like he always has.
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Work in progress (none of us are perfect)
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Re: Your Bare Minimum
#22: May 24, 2011, 04:37:51 PM
Dragonfly, you have a very realistic expectation.... thanks for your comments.
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Re: Your Bare Minimum
#23: May 24, 2011, 05:26:46 PM
    Bare minimum too soon to tell. I was going to ask about anger. I haven't had any. Will it come later? Once since BD 2-14-11 I hit my head doing some chores he should be doing and I yelled out a little but other than that I just feel like H running away was his way of escaping his pain (that I didn't really appreciate) I mean I know an ER physician who went home from work one day and her H had killed himself with a shotgun in the kitchen. If he was depressed and ran to think and have OW and learn life's lessons then that's better than the other scenario.
  I'm scared for him. I know him so well that I figure if he's hurting so badly I just need to pray for him and take care of myself and the Ds for now.
  Especially since he's being soooo nice since BD.
  Bare minimum equals ACT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.  (I know it's not possible he's a sick teenager right now)
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Re: Your Bare Minimum
#24: May 24, 2011, 07:14:15 PM
Mama Bear,
Yes, I think that anger will come sooner or later. For me it came about 8 months after BD no. 2 when h made the most selfish comment ever. No, it wasn't even prior spew that sent me into anger, just his ever so selfish remark. I now think of him as an a$$h0!e or a f-tard. Then I try to do the Ghandi thing of not feeling anger so it doesn't eat me up from the inside.

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BD 1/15/ 10 then BD 8/21/10
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