[Standing Strong]

I had to preface this discussion with (Christian Thread) since it will be heavily religious and I don't want someone who isn't getting hurt or offended.
If you aren't religious and come in anyway, all are welcome 


So I'm curious what God has told (or taught) you during your time as an LBS? I'm not talking about lessons you figure out on our own..... I mean that voice.... THE voice, the one that stops you in your tracks and everything else goes silent. That voice which calms, everything.... and is quiet as a whisper and loud as a thunderclap. That voice which you want to listen to forever and is gone before you know what has happened.


I think (actually I know) that during LBS we are much more able to actually listen to him, and when we listen...... he speaks.
That has been one of the great things about MLC.... I've listened (sometimes).... and in his love and kindness, he's spoken.... again and again.
From a promise to never leave me, to justifying me, to supernaturally connecting me to my wife's emotions on the worst night of her life, to telling me what the worth of a godly woman is. Just incredible. So very generous, loving and kind.

Lately, he has been talking to me and teaching me about what it's like to be him and the construction of marriage. Completely fascinating, humbling, and being shown that he is God. It's so.... human... to have all these thoughts, feelings and emotions about being wronged..... about unfairness...... about unjustness...... and then God comes along and shows what it's like to be him.... all the pain we put him thru everyday. It's jaw dropping, and I am in just awe at his incredible love. Love that goes beyond anything I can understand. Wisdom that is beyond anything I can comprehend, forgiveness that goes beyond what any person can endure. I like to think that I'm a really good man, but boy I am such a pathetic wretch when I look at him. When he speaks it like "Oh yeah... there's no arguing with that. I knew that, but I didn't KNOW that". He has made it so abundantly clear that it's not about me: that the real issue at hand is saving our spouse. That what goes on here is so small but what follows is so big. My weak and insecurities often make me think about myself, and he has to remind me..... it's all about HIM and our spouse. His plan. His design. His is betrayed more than we ever will be and yet he loves them more than we ever will.
Example: I've thought about how can an LBS forgive certain things..... and God says "I forgave you". I muse about how a spouse can hurt their spouse...... God says "You hurt me everyday". Ouch. In the end, my little human mind is barely starting to understand these concepts, and I know it's one brick at a time with what he's teaching me. It's not something you can read and say "Oh, I get it!!!". Nope. Only one can teach, and he teaches one step at a time. I find myself building empathy for God himself, and love.... a new kind of love..... and reverence, and awe. God certainly is holy.... I never really understood that before, and I still don't understand the depth of it now..... but it is building. When I was saved, I was taught to learn the word.... pray..... follow the rules.... have a personal relationship with God. I've had all that, nothing was missing.... But what has come out of this MLC experience is beyond all that..... it's moving from a friend to a family member. Huh.... that's very odd now that I think about it. That is what happened with our spouses when we are wed. This is one of the reasons I write: He teaches me and shows me things as I write. Is this how it has been with you: From friend (good wonderful friend) into something much much closer?


The other thing he's teaching me.... oh boy.... it's a dozy: The construction of marriage. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. I'm struggling to learn this one. I think I understand part of it, but there are parts that I'm really having a hard time with. Definitely learning..... but to be perfectly honest, there has been parts I really didn't want to learn..... it is a struggle.... and it's ongoing. So much romanticizing that I have personally about marriage, and to be shown the truth, warts and all, in pieces..... it's beautiful and sad. Another area where he is wounded by us, and yet he lets us do what we choose and wound him.

Still, so... so much to learn. Ha!!! The learning will never be over.... what am I saying more to learn.... of course there is more to learn.

So.... for all the Christian LBS's here on HS..... what has God told you? And if you have that thing were you try and talk about something he has said and it flees from your mind and memory until you stop trying to tell someone.... that's ok. I normally know what I'm allowed to talk about, but occasionally I'm not sure until I open my mouth and the mind goes blank....... and to be perfectly honest, sometimes I know I shouldn't open my mouth and I do anyway.... and he lets me: Pride.  What a terrible sin. A lot of growing up to do to become something more like him, but never, ever approaching him.
There are somethings he will only allow to come from his own mouth exclusively, but you can say "yup" if that's the case. I would be so curious to know how many of us he speaks with...... not because of pride or to create jealousy or resentment..... but to know that he is active, and moving about our numbers, and to inspire others to look for him, listen for him, petition him, and know that he does answer. 

What has he shown you?

-SS   

P.S. HAHAHAHHAHA!!!! I start talking about God and he puts a song in my head.... I haven't heard or thought about it in years. He loves doing that (ALL THE TIME!!!!!)
Carmen Third Heaven https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi5v8eX7pyg

[3Boys4Me]

Well, he showed me this thread for one thing, right when I needed it, right when I asked for it. Thank you for writing, you certainly helped me today. Sometimes God speaks to me through strangers...

[Treasur]

Gosh this is a difficult and very personal question.
I recognise that feeling of intimacy you describe. And that small loud quiet voice.
Hmmm...how do I sum it up for me?
That I am not alone.
That God is very fond of me even when others are not and I am not.
That God is present in the details of my life even when I'm not at all sure about that or what on earth I am doing or where I am going.
That God wants me to be whole and living with a sense of peace even when I doubt it is possible.
That there is a kind of deep robust love behind the chaos even when we can't feel it in the moment.
And that this love matters in ways we can't always see.
That faith is stronger than hope.

[Keep believing]

Its ironic you wrote about this. I am now trying to understand all of what you wrote. Is it God talking to me or my own head? How do I know the difference.? I want what you have. I do know at times when I have let things go for God to handle, they just seem to work out. I do feel everything happens for a reason. I feel as though when I screw something up God has to intervene to fix the mess I created and then continue with his plan.

[xyzcf]

Yes, God speaks to me.

Many of us have said that our faith has grown throughout this....

God has brought people into my life that I have learned from, that comfort me, that held me when I was so very broken. His love sustains me.

Rejoice Ministries has helped me to understand why standing is so important and has helped me as well when I could not go another step.

It is in silence that I hear His voice.  But He is always with me, always by my side and His love for me and my family is so huge....as SS stated, we hurt Our Lord everyday. Small sin, large sin..Our Lord weeps.

This life here, is but a moment in time...a hard concept but we will one day be in front of Our Lord to answer "what did you do for the least of my brothers?" When I meditate on this, I understand why standing for my marriage is critical, for me, for my Beloved, for my family.

A priest spoke to me last week...he spoke about being on a hike in the mountains, it becomes very steep, very treacherous and hard, so so hard to do..and you just want to quit but you take that next step, hold onto that ledge and continue to climb. You have no idea how far the summit is, it could be a few more yards or many more miles......something pushes your forward and when you reach the summit, and gaze down upon the beauty that is there waiting for you, you are filled with absolute joy.

When things worsen in my life, when I become discouraged and just want to give up, I know that these thoughts are satan's...for he does not want my family to be together..oh no, and if you pay attention, you will see things that are thrown at you, that cause you to lose hope, but God will never desert you.In ways that are almost impossible to understand, He is with you all the time.

He is the greatest healer. He can heal you, He can heal your spouse for "nothing is impossible for God".

At this Holy time of year. Mary's fiat, her yes to God and Joseph's acceptance of what he was told by an angel.. resulted in the greatest story on earth. The birth of Our Lord Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas to all of you. God bless you and your loved ones.

[Yellowroseoftexas]

Don't grow weary in well doing.  Something good will come from all this pain. 

I really sense in my spirit 2020 will be the year of restoration.  My weeping is over and joy is ahead. 

[3Boys4Me]

After I read this thread last night, I asked God to help me with my stand. At a little over 2.5 years I am growing weary. My H seems more gone than ever. God spoke to me so very clearly in the beginning and his voice has grown so quiet, like a whisper, and I have also succumbed to anger and negativity in ways that haven’t been fruitful - bitter never makes one better. So I asked for guidance in my stand, I did not ask for certainty, nor an expected outcome, simply some guidance on my stand and the next right steps - I was awoken in the early morning hours from a dream, there were four scenarios that involved me and my H, one specifically related to H and his crisis (I am the observer, not a participant) one involving me alone (where H peeked in and he was the observer) one involving me and how I could reduce obstacles with H and one involving H and me together in relationship to our sons. They were very brief, snippets really, like scenes from a movie - but profoundly meaningful and all designed to help me in my recovery and to help me in my relationship with H, our sons as co-parents, and in respecting my H’s free will and autonomy in going through his crisis. It was the clearest information I have received that his crisis is truly about him and not about me, but that I too am in crisis as a result and responsible for myself, my healing, my actions and re-actions.

Thank you for asking this question which helped me in turn to ask God to speak to me in whatever way he saw fit, to help me with my growth and healing.

[Standing Strong]

Praise God 3 Boys!!!!
That's wonderful 

I find that so.... "God-like"..... LOL!!!! His fingerprints all over it.
I'll share something which I don't think I have here before: A few months after BD, I was praying up a storm and just fallen face first before God in pain (why have I not learned to stay there?!?!?).... anyway, he showed me something in dreams too........ it was about W's life and the choices she has to make...... showed me the result of those choices, the good and the bad. Then he showed me my choices, and what my choices would result in (good and bad).
How awesome that he speaks this way 

Really made my day, you sharing this.
Keep seeking, he's there and has been the entire time.

-SS

[Treasur]

Its ironic you wrote about this. I am now trying to understand all of what you wrote. Is it God talking to me or my own head? How do I know the difference.? I want what you have. I do know at times when I have let things go for God to handle, they just seem to work out. I do feel everything happens for a reason. I feel as though when I screw something up God has to intervene to fix the mess I created and then continue with his plan.

I suspect kb that 3boys story is a guide.
In my experience I know the difference bc I feel different after it. A deep sense of peace and a kind of trust that 'all shall be well' somehow even if the voice did not give me a specific outcome. I find it helps too to keep my prayer question pretty open and I have often been surprised by what the voice has shown me. Somehow idk it always feels like I have been given a smiling gift.
My own voice? Nah, quite a different kind of feeling.

[3Boys4Me]

One of the ways I learned how to differentiate the voice of God was through the teachings of  St Ignatius Loyola, a Catholic Priest who founded the Jesuits - the society of Jesus, an order of priests focused on education and learning.  He teaches discernment in hearing the voice of the spirit, one of the clues that has really helped me is when the voice comes with fear, anxiety, rumination, anger or hostility it is not of the Holy Spirit. There is a peace in the hearing. I am often given clues that I then research - that is how I learned about standing, and found this forum among many other things. I have also noticed that information comes when I need it and am ready for it. Sometimes I want to just run away from all of this and I go back to the early days too, when I was so absolutely wrecked in my grief, when God was loud and clear so that he caught my attention in dramatic ways, letting me know without question I was not alone. When I falter, I remember the early days and try to remain faithful. I make a lot of mistakes but I know I am forgiven.