Hello,
My current W was contacted by teenage friend who had dumped her husband and family after 20 shared years. She spent a night as our guest, W and her talking mostly old teenage memories.
She had just met a guy at some work party and fallen in love. Bye-bye old husband in almost heartbeat😵
The old adage of "our eyes met across the room and it was an instant connection." Of course that sounds a lot better than "I frantically looked at every face in the party until I saw someone who was acceptable and had at least a flicker of interest".
Her justification why it was okey.... She's not had lots of men in her life (this new guy is her 2nd serious relationship) and by this age she now really knows what she needs.... Like WTF, what about the family she has 🙄 what about working and improving things.
We can rationalize anything we want. For example, after reading and responding to you about this crazed lady, I'm going to have a old fashion. Now, I really have no reason for one, but I want one. So I do need to justify it even if my reasons sounds and are truly weak.
This girl threw her family away because she missed out on the sexual revolution? It's like me trying to tell my wife, "When I grew up, we only had whole, skim, and non fat milk. Now we have soy, oak, almond, coconut, and cashew. I'm leaving you so I can experience all the other milks on my own. I feel so free."
She also wants to keep this new life a secret from friends and other family for some time, so we were sworn not to talk about it.
I really don't know what to think of this experience. Part of me was thrilled to "observe" MLCr live from outsider seats, another part of me just wanted to roast her with "seriously, you are totally bonkers?",😂
Even if you had called her bonkers, she would just get angry and leave in the morning. She doesn't just expect acceptance from her mother, she wants acceptance from everyone. You, all of her friends, all of his friends, and of course, him. Had you even tried to talk to her, she would have also accused you of talking to her STBX and taking his side. She would then call him and chew him out for talking to her friends about her, Can't win with these people.
Possibly my lesson from this was that when outside of their partner, MLCr can appear and behave somewhat normally. If she had not opened about her past and few other things, I could have thought she was like any other person.
That's the bonkers thing about life. You just can't read a face. Had a parent teacher conference with a young father. He stated he was there to be in his daughter's life. I gave him reading techniques to help her at home. He shook my hand as he left. He appeared to be a nice guy. A few weeks later, he was arrested for murder. About a week or two before our conference, he robbed, shot, and killed a clerk. Life in prison was the sentence. You can see the face, but can't read a mind.
Have a great Father's Day! I am off to mix a nice drink,
(((Ready)))