[Nas]

Hey clanishers. It’s so quiet on this thread, though not surprising since we have, well, vanishers. Not much to report about ghosts.

I am currently without a therapist and dealing with a heartbreaking non-MLC related loss that I don’t feel like I can talk about with anyone, not even here where I’m anonymous. I can’t change it, I can’t change my perception of it. The only option I’m left with is to accept it. And it’s hard and I’m very, very sad. I think I’m sadder about this than I was after BD. The loss of my marriage felt like an ending, but in terms of the future it still didn’t feel as limiting.

After all, my marriage ended but I was still me. I was just me without him. Now I don’t really feel like me anymore either. I feel like I am at a crossroads, but one side of the road is washed out from a flood and the other side is unpaved and visibility is almost entirely restricted due to heavy fog.

I just feel like I want to remind newbies that the whiplash of BD and the pain will get better- even though it feels like you don’t know how to move forward or the thought of moving forward without your spouse seems impossible, every day it will get better and you will move forward and it is possible. But don’t wait. Don’t put your life on hold because you never know what might change tomorrow. Look in the mirror every day and remember who you are. Cherish the person you are right now, in this moment, and do the things that are best for you. These are days you’ll never get back.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pieces-mind/201207/radical-acceptance?amp
“Life gives us lots of opportunities to practice acceptance. If you have a problem that you can solve, then that is the first option. If you can’t solve it, but can change your perception of it, then do that. If you can’t solve it or change your perception of an issue, then practice radical acceptance.”

[Dragonfly33]

NAS whatever you are going through right now. i‘m praying that you will overcome this too. I‘m sending you a lot of virtual hugs.

[MomOfSteel]

Wise words but I am sorry you are going through more things.  I hope things will ease and won’t feel so heavy.  Hugs.

[nah]

I’m sorry you are going through another rough time Nas

[nah]

I think one of the reasons this thread is slower than the others is bc I mistakenly made it a “my story” thread instead of a discussion thread. Not sure if there’s a way to change it.

[OffRoad]

I think one of the reasons this thread is slower than the others is bc I mistakenly made it a “my story” thread instead of a discussion thread. Not sure if there’s a way to change it.

Fixed.

[thissucks7788]

Hi Nas,
I'm so sorry to read your update and hear that you're going through such a difficult situation.  What can we do here to help support you during your journey?  Sending you hugs and strength to get through. xo
B

[stillbaffled]

Nas, sorry to read that you are struggling with a heartbreaking loss.  Sometimes accepting something seems like an impossibility.  I hope that it will become easier for you and the sadness will diminish.   

[Nas]

Thanks for the kind words, guys. I'm struggling and exhausted but just working on acceptance.
All we can do in life is move forward, but sometimes that feels impossible - or maybe not impossible, but pointless, like when I get to the other side of the metaphorical forest, there'll be nothing there waiting for me anyway.
Pushing past that feeling is sometimes pretty hard, but the alternative isn't any better, so onwards I go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHrHTuWm7WA

[Ready2Transform]

Big hugs, Nas. {{{}}}}