[MadLuv]

Sounds like a good life and father’s with your son’s

[STP]

Thanks for the comment MadLuv

Journalling

I did not mention in my previous post about last weekend when I was at KAs. After dinner we watched a movie and in her recliner I fell asleep. This has happened before. She was not pleased and I learned when she's not feeling close to me she withholds sex. I can understand that. I just had the one night with her and left Saturday morning for my day with S24 and my oldest brother at the worlds largest arcade. 8 hr's of playing videos games. It was late, so I did not go back to KAs.
Tuesday she came over for the usual night of me making dinner and watching a series or movie on tv. I fell asleep and she was angry and left by 7:20pm. We texted later and lately she hasn't been feeling close to me. Less emotional connection. This news coming a week before my summer party on Sat... that she was not attending. gulp.

This past Fri we had a date night to go see a Queen/Lady Gaga tribute band. Four friends were also going, but we opted to not sit with them as it was "a date night". We had a great time and reconnected. Saturday I took her out to lunch, and around 4:30 she left to meet others in the singles group for a BBQ/Blues fest as my summer party began. I had about 25 friends come over. Around 10:30pm KA returned and we finished out the night together with many staying until midnight, when I started kicking them out. Our Sunday we went to garage sales, an afternoon delight, out to lunch and a visit to my neighbors sons birthday party before she left. Later she texted me she had a great time this weekend. The fun she needed and Love you." 

My mom had texted me that perhaps I needed to have less parties to not damage my relationship with KA, as they all like her. No party in July as we have two vacations together. Looking forward the next party I have planned is for 8/19. KA told me she is going to an all women outing with KM, so I may as well have it as I'm not invited to her thing and it worked out well this past weekend. I feel shes striving for some time to create her own friendships outside of mine or our shared ones in what limited time she has without me, and her D10.

This week I'm thinking about a kayak outing on WED and am hosting a singles group event for 23 at a Styx cover band outing on Thursday. S24 will go with me. The weekend then will be at KAs watching fireworks etc. I will make sure to be rested Fri and not doze on her couch. 

[STP]

I cancelled my kayak outing as the Chicagoland area is under an Air Quality Warning and just to breath outside is very unhealthy from the Canadian fires smoke particles here. Hoping the rain helps as I'm leading a hike on Sunday west of Indianapolis.

BF contacted me this am to say her D28? is getting married today and asked me to get that info to OM as he has her blocked on all forms of communication. I sent one sentence to XW and got back "Yep, he knows. Thx" We're not sure how he knows when he has NC with his kids or his one sister allied with BF. In this case I hated reaching out to my XW and feel ill to my stomach. Her reply was simple but seemed smug.

[readytofixmyselffirst]

Hello,

My mom had texted me that perhaps I needed to have less parties to not damage my relationship with KA, as they all like her. No party in July as we have two vacations together. Looking forward the next party I have planned is for 8/19. KA told me she is going to an all women outing with KM, so I may as well have it as I'm not invited to her thing and it worked out well this past weekend. I feel shes striving for some time to create her own friendships outside of mine or our shared ones in what limited time she has without me, and her D10.

I agree that she is trying to build relationships outside of your gregarious life. From my perspective, your situation is more about balancing things between your activities and KA. For one thing, she doesn't want you to completely stop your outside life and I think  on one level she loves that you can do your own thing and don't need her 24/7. It's just communicating when are the times she needs you and vice versa. She has a busy life, you have an even busier life. However, you make it work and that's the best you can do.

I sent one sentence to XW and got back "Yep, he knows. Thx" We're not sure how he knows when he has NC with his kids or his one sister allied with BF. In this case I hated reaching out to my XW and feel ill to my stomach. Her reply was simple but seemed smug.

Don't you disdain being asked to make contact with your ex in these situations? I would rather unclog the toilet than deal with my ex. Your situation is tougher because she is with OM. I couldn't stand OM then and I still can't stand him now and I never met or even saw a picture of him.

I think you handled it well  and I hope your weekend plans are fun and safe.

Have a great weekend,

(((Ready)))

[STP]

Thanks for reply Ready

Rereading your post again (about not wanting to see your ex) helped me decide my course of action tonight. I texted S23 if he was going to a Doobie Brothers tribute concert tonight and he said yes and that XW and S28 will be there. For a moment I considered going... for a strange reason besides the music (Last month after a Styx tribute concert a good woman friend and guy shes dating invited me back to his house to drink at his basement bar and play tunes. It was a fun time until well after midnight and they wanted me to sleep over but I declined. Saw they were gonna be there tonight and thought maybe a repeat could happen-l )
There's an 80's cover band concert tonight in another city where I might have a few women friends. Without knowing fer sure who's going, I'm gonna pass on that. I can stay home. Just got home yesterday from vacation.I have an Avenged Sevenfold concert tomorrow night with S23 and S21 along with their guy friends. Just last week I was at Foreigner and Loverboy with KA and all four of my kids which was a first and fun time!

Speaking of KA, we've had two vacations this month and will have seen each other a record 22 days this month. I had just one hike early in the month and one kayak night a couple weeks back. This weekend I'm at her house and Monday night am having another kayak night for friends that have one. August is a busy month of activities.

[STP]

Journaling

Nothing real exciting but just noting events as of late. A couple weeks ago I went afternoon kayaking on a Friday with two women I have gone with before. One is NJ, who is DCs best friend and the second is kinda ditz. After lunch, NJ invited us to her house to float in her pool. The ditz declined but I went... not wanting to pass up an opportunity to experience something new. It was kinda surreal to be in NJs pool with her and just her. She's attractive and like 7 years ago I wanted to date her, but she's a friend and glad to have her back in my life after 3.5 years. I stayed about an hour, as I had to get back home before KA arrived. I'll see NJ and several others WED for a group kayak venture and following dinner. One of those attending to paddle is ML who I don't think I've ever talked about.

ML is a much younger Mexican gal. Very pretty and always with red lipstick, she's a world traveller having gone to Iceland, Hawaii and Japan in the last year. Met her about a year and half ago on one of my hikes. Shes kayaked several times with the group and messaged me last week with some questions about botanical gardens nearby.

I want to get away and relax for the weekend.  I will probably go there tomorrow. I will just kayak on Wednesday with my best friend

I asked who that was and she replied

You silly ha ha

I don't recall anyone ever calling me their best friend... especially a woman (other than MM). Flattered by that, it makes me want to act more friendly to her.

MM was in town this past week and mentioned getting together on a WED. I had plumbing issues (A bathtub that wouldn't stop raining into my crawlspace) and didn't have the chance to see her.

I went to several concerts this month: One with S23 and his gf, where she Facebook friended me after. The girl works for my XW. Another show with S28 and next week with S21.

At one of the smaller local tribute bands I saw DS. She's my realtor/yoga instructor/local actress who I hadn't seen in over a year. Without MM around anymore it's rare I run into her. She's a tease and knows KA doesn't like her. I sat next to RB, a blonde lawyer friend for six years and couldn't believe all the dirty sex talk coming out of her mouth. She even complained that I've always been with someone.

KA and I have done all sorts of wonderful things this month... renaissance faire, boat races, dutch festival, and she fully attended my party this weekend of 30 guests. She's not enthused for my parties and said she knows she can't change me but smiled for the photo and had a good time talking with our friends. Well not with my buddy JS.

Thursday I am hosting a singles group event to see a Santana tribute band. RB will be there. This weekend I'm at KAs for D10s birthday. I got her a 69 Hole Pink Bazooka Bubble Gun.

[STP]

Journaling

I received a message from MM asking for help moving a couch out of her place. She said a lot was going on and she was getting new furniture and carpet and could have people over. That's odd news to me as I have never been in her trailer home, I assumed due to her bedridden husband. There's even been speculation he doesn't exist as she basically moved to MI to be with her bf. Then this came.

Hi, I don’t need help but thank you. Be nice to see you. BB and I broke up so I’m back in Indiana. I just got here and have to unload my car. There’s a lot of stuff in there.

I let KA know MM is back and more than likely will begin coming to my parties again. I might see MM later this week to catch up. I'm happy she's not with that old man anymore. It was probably mostly financial she was with him... to not work.

Otherwise life has been terrific between kayaking midweek with friends like NJ and ML and doing all sorts of things with KA on weekends. Labor Day weekend for instance we saw Duran Duran in concert, went to an Oktoberfest, marched in her cities parade with girl scouts and saw fireworks. I also went to a concert with S24 and another with S21. I heard they went to a show with XW too which is surprising to me... to see a hard rock show. I saw one pic and her stressed out gray hair is half turquoise. Still in the MLC apparently.

In the next week there's two kayaking excursions planned. KAs house for the weekend and I am also leading a hike on Sunday and have 21 singles coming to that including buddy JS. I wonder if MM will start coming to them again? I won't push for it.

We also got notice that LD, KAs best friend, was found not guilty on the first manslaughter case. Crazy to me she apparently got off on a loophole being tried for one thing and her defense blamed her actions on another. Second trial in DEC.

[STP]

Journalling

Last Thursday MM came over and we talked for 5 hrs. I made KA aware of the visit and told her this was a very serious tell all. MM mostly told of her break up with her old man bf. The final straw with him came when he turned his boat sharply on their way out of the harbor and MM fell overboard. The bf was very cold afterwards about it and refused to make it up to her with affection. There was a dinner event then at a guy friend of his place, and she felt ignored. When they got back, she was talking to his neighbor as he made some remarks from the front door. He went inside and she just left. Got most of her things from his kid a few days later. He had a temper at times, I guess similar to her dad. Good riddance I say.

MM said her husband has gone into a day care home for constant round the clock care so her place is just her. She had been renting and has to either buy it or get out within a year as her renting options end. Her sister is moving two hours away and MM doesn't want to be away from her, so she may move to IL (although, WTH she was further away in MI.) The job she was taking years of college classes for didn't pan out as she doesn't like the occupational therapy field. She may now go into realty and spent the next night with mutual friend DS, my realtor. After seven years knowing MM she revealed her real age: 18 mos older than me.

KAs dads health has taken a nose dive at age 88. He had been using a walker and then sitting on it to get around. He's fallen twice as his legs are too weak to hold him up. He's bed ridden basically now. She had a hospital bed delivered. This past weekend he yelled for her at 4:30 am. KA is not able to give him round the clock care he requires. Hospice took away his medicine and made the switch from trying to help him to making him comfortable with mophine etc. They said he has 6 months of life left. He gets free VA health care having been a veteran. I will probably never see him again as she today is meeting with a place he will move to for more care. This will start the ball rolling towards KA downsizing as well in a couple years. Shes very stressed and has asked going forward for a full wine glass awaiting whenever she comes over.

[readytofixmyselffirst]

Hello,

KAs dads health has taken a nose dive at age 88. He had been using a walker and then sitting on it to get around. He's fallen twice as his legs are too weak to hold him up. He's bed ridden basically now. She had a hospital bed delivered. This past weekend he yelled for her at 4:30 am. KA is not able to give him round the clock care he requires. Hospice took away his medicine and made the switch from trying to help him to making him comfortable with mophine etc. They said he has 6 months of life left. He gets free VA health care having been a veteran.

My parents are also in their 80's and it's been tough for them. My father is losing his vision and I can see a cognitive decline as well. My mom fell last year and had a brain bleed and now she has good days and not so good days. They both live in a small apartment near my brother in Texas. The sad thing is they just don't get out much. They went to the Senior Center a couple of times and then my Dad had some issues and two surgeries. They have not gone back since. They do get meals on wheels and my brother and Sister in law do a lot of work for the both of them. They take them out to eat once a week, take them shopping, and go to the apartment to help with medical procedures and help my mom take a bath. I

Other than that, my parents stay in the apartment and watch TV. Not exactly the most productive way to spend your time, but they are very limited. I will be out in March to see them and I have been trying to get them enrolled in medicaid but it's a tough process and being out of state doesn't help.

All of this is complicated and tough on everyone involved. After all, it's her father. She's going to need that support so that she can deal with all the pressure she feels at this time.

Have a great day!

((((Ready)))

[STP]

Thanks for the reply Ready. It sure can be hard to tend to ailing parents at a distance. My parents are both in their 80s and of their five kids, I am the furthest away. Three of my bros live within 10 mins so much will fall on them.

My parents have a very set schedule each day:
My dad goes out to breakfast while my mom sleeps in. He reads the paper and watches TV until she comes downstairs. They fetch McDonalds for lunch together and eat at a park. If they feel strong, they will climb a hill there. Back home then, my moms on computer/Facebook while he's in his recliner watching something. She makes them dinner and more of the same, often watching Chicago Cubs or Bulls. They go to bed after midnight.

KAs dad went to a home yesterday. Her mom helped pack his clothes/bathroom stuff and an ambulance took him. She knows he's in a better place, but she still feels like crap. Deep down she knows he's better off. It's best for his health, which he needs. I'm proud of her for making the big decisions. Our weekday together has switched to Mondays as she has a dog that needs to be let out on Tuesdays (her work day in the office). All Fridays look to have me going there now because of her dog. Her mom will help out Saturdays so she can come over.

Tonight I am going with MM to see a cover band outside. Many other single friends are going as well. She asked me to go with her on FRI to get her things from her old man boyfriends son as she isn't comfortable going alone. I expect MM will be back in my life a lot more, having signed up for my wine party and next hike.

Saturday KA and I are going to a bacon festival and then seeing a U2 cover band. Sunday, I am hosting a 3 hr kayaking voyage on a lake. I'm really good at keeping busy.