[Dragonfly33]

Just wanted to share something quickly. Last night, I woke up at around 2 in the morning from a terrible nightmare. I dreamt of my xh and in my dream I was informed by someone or his mom ( can’t remember anymore) that my xh died from a car accident many months ago. Somehow in my dream I cried my heart out. I felt guilty, that our last talk in person didn’t end in a positive way. We were fighting, and I was so sad it was the last talk I had with him and I was so angry at him. I couldn’t say sorry or couldn’t tell him I forgave him. I felt guilty that I never contacted him and asked him how he was. How is that even possible that until now, I’m the one feeling guilty? In reality though I don’t think I have totally forgiven my xh. My goodness, the dream felt so real that I woke up with a heavy heart. It’s been a long while since I dreamt about him. Sometimes they just come in the most unexpected moment. Even though I am quite content with the trajectory of my life right now, I still feel wobbly when reminded of my xh. Like those feelings were still fresh. Luckily they don’t linger that long anymore.

[Nas]

I’m sorry, that sounds like an incredibly distressing dream. It’s interesting, there must be something going on with the universe because I too have been having wildly vivid nightmares lately. Luckily none involving my former spouse. I know there’s debate over what dreams actually are but I really do think that it’s just a manifestation of unprocessed emotions. I know some people think there’s symbolism and this and that, and I don’t necessarily agree, but I do think that it’s never a bad thing to examine a particularly salient dream and see if there is some kind of underlying unprocessed/unfinished business there. Or if the dream is reinforcing or contradicting a story we’re telling ourselves. It’s funny, I just recently re-watched the fantastic (and slightly mlc adjacent) Stories We Tell, and I come away with something different every time I watch it. And I did realize recently that one of my really explicit nightmares was connected to one of my own “stories I tell“ that I think was helpful for me to look at through a different lens. The stories we tell ourselves become the reality through which we process our lives, but sometimes those stories contain omission or outdated perspectives or retrospective interpretations that either don’t serve our current reality or are being used as unexamined protective mechanisms. I do think that kind of stuff leaks out sometimes through dreams. Just my humble thoughts…

[UrsaMajor]

Hi Dragonfly (and Nas),

Well we DID just pass a full moon so maybe there are "ethereal" forces at work?

Not to be flippant - I read often that dreams are a way for the brain to process residual "stuff" that is lurking about in the corners of our minds, either from current experience or even long and forgotten past. I had some VERY strange dreams over the past few nights regarding things like I was supposed to be singing in a choir and either was late or hadn't been to the rehearsals or had to go through the group while making excuses why I couldn't sing with them (I used to sing in a choir regularly but haven't in a few years). Another recurring theme that finally stopped happening about 3 years ago was that I suddenly found myself back in the military or assigned to a ship (I spent 10 years in the Navy) but had a normal job/family/life and how was I supposed to explain that I was going to be deployed for months when I was a civilian now  and what was I going to be paid since I was no longer enlisted..... Oh yeah, and my uniforms were all out of date and didn't have the correct insignia on them so I was trying to find the uniform shop on the base....

To make a short story long, one school of thought is that dreams act as the "recycle bin" for our brains to finally get rid of stuff we deleted.... sort of like the Windows recycle bin. You delete something but it isn't really gone until you "empty the trash" with the associated "Are you sure you want to do this" prompt.

By the way, this is now post 152 so ......



It's time for a new thread!