[Finding Joy]

Totally Standing!  Same for my H.  He is more mature in every way than before.  Just in general a better person.  That said, the scar is deep and forever there from the MLC. 

[Standing Strong]

Hey FJ!!!

The end is not what you imagine at the beginning is it? HA!! 

Journaling:

I paid a visit to my MLC friend at work today..... it had been a long time. Thought I'd update her story........
So I swung by and checked on her...... she's good..... and so much change!!!
She is back at home with her H  , and reintegrating with her step kids. Wow.
Before (in the five years past) she was talking about her age a lot, and much of what she was doing seemed (to me) a rebellion about getting older.
This is a very, very attractive woman and I suspect losing a lot of attention in combination with her FOO issues set her off.
While we talked, her age did come up again..... but this was different: She was accepting of her physical limits due to age, and how her body just doesn't keep up the way it used to. Pains, rattles, all that fun stuff..... but also gone was her nonstop desire to "start over". Hmmmmmm.

She seemed quite happy, and none of the husband blame or lack of patience for children was present.
Instead there was a calm I haven't seen in her..... well, not in a long time anyway. All smiles, and without those eyes that would look down as she attempted to hide or suppress what was inside.

I'm very happy for my friend, she is a really nice woman...... of course what she has put her H thru....... as always: terrible. In many ways she is very much like my W....... pretty and spoiled, not knowing what she has, but at the core a very kind heart. She (like W) hasn't talked about her OM, and also like W it seems to have unraveled in a nasty way (when she did talk about it a couple years ago). Similar to W, she appears to be attempting to move forward with her life and just forget/shun things which are MLC related.

It does make me think about the "bad dream" aspect of MLC after MLC...... she wasn't interested at all, or interject with questions about W like she would in the past. Before she was all about learning details about how W was doing and how she was coping..... now: none of that. Very interesting.

In other news...... I had a really cool experience today...... doesn't happen that much, so it stood out. Made my day.
I was walking around at work, and there was someone waiting outside our offices. She was late 20's/early 30's.... I noticed her twice, and the second time asked "are you waiting for someone? Can I let someone know you are here?". She let me know who she was waiting for, and I asked for her name..... she told me and said she worked here a year or so ago (I can't keep track of all these people.... HA!!!). She then asked who I was...... I said "SS" and her eyes got big "SS/SS [First/Last].... you're SS/SS??? I know who YOU are!!!" (in a very positive tone and a large smile)... HA!!!!  That was really nice. I guess I'm known by all the young people.... even the ones who have moved on or I never met. HA!!! 

Bring on the long weekend!!! I need it.

One day at a time,

-SS

[Biscuit]

Hi SS,

I've been meaning to reply to your story but only just got around to it.

So the MLCer at work has returned home - well that's a turn up after all she said about her H a while back eh? And a few parallels to your W and mine too as we've spoken about before. Very attractive and ultimately incredibly spoilt. I hope your friend and her H find happiness together again - I'm a sucker for a good return story.

Things sound good with you - you've achieved some kind of status at work with the younger members of the team! Brilliant. You're obviously very good at what you do professionally.

It also seems like your W is edging closer to the exit from MLC - it's great that you're journalling about that - as there's not a great deal written about these later stages. I wonder how she will settle once she exits - will she be like the W you met? More like the person she was just before MLC? Or maybe someone totally different? She's a lucky woman to have had your support and love throughout her journey - she might not have made it this far without it - who knows?

As always I look forward to your next update

B x

[Standing Strong]

Journaling:

Getting closer and closer to vacation!!! Days away now!!! Woohooo!!!

It's kind of fun here at the connection stage...... fun and funny. W is trying... trying......
Last weekend she came by and said she was going to the gym if I'd like to join her..... I've always said "No" because for me it's a reminder to me of the early days of her MLC..... but this last time, something made me say "Yes"..... her eyes got big and she was genuinely excited. I threw on some workout clothes and said "let's go"..... she was a buzz of talking on the way there "bla bla bla, bla bla bla" HA!!! 
At the gym, we did the same machines together..... and it was nice. Nothing too heavy, and she offered to do more workouts together...... as a matter of fact when I asked her how much to put me on the account she said "I have the ability to have a guest - you don't need to be on it" (meaning, come to the gym with me: together).
Last night she cooked, after talking about cooking for three days. This is rare beyond understanding..... before MLC, she'd cook maybe two or three times a year. Thru five years of MLC, she's cooked (I think) twice....... and she ate sparingly when she was done...... she had cooked for me.

Funny how they reach out.... how they try to connect.... and how cautious they are. Not because the LBS is dangerous, but because they aren't safe, they can't be trusted, and they are at fault. How do I know? I know. 

In other news, the sale of the condo is going thru in two days. W is going to the consulate one state away to sign power of attorney so it can be finished..... she doesn't even want to travel down there to do it herself (even though she could have had a long weekend, and seen her mom a little extra).... I get the impression she doesn't want to travel there anymore at all. What a turn..... from nonstop visits and longing for every moment in her dream fantasy place (the "only place she can relax") to not wanting to go there at all.
What a thing to see the "dream" totally shattered.
Once it is sold, she told me she wants to help her sister (who has been out of work for a little while).... this is a huge departure also since during MLC she didn't want to help her family at all, but had no problem sending OM lots of money.
It's all reversing....... rapidly.

As for OM.... I don't know the details, but the case is falling apart. I suspect he'll be out soon.

As for me..... I'm still very stand-offish....... I'm not leaping to connect..... not chasing (HA!!!)..... no...... I've built something amazing and it's MY choice if someone is allowed to rejoin, or not..... but I'm content to watch them try.

Well, that's my life......

One day at a time.....

-SS

[MadLuv]

Good update, well except the OW. He is a scary character. It’s amazing to me they get involved with these low life people. Your wife's OW was such a great show how bad they choose.  Have a great vacation!

[Standing Strong]

Journaling:

I'm back from vacation.... it was great to be away for a bit. It's always a marvel to me how the body changes each time there's a vacation........ happens every time, and every time I'm surprised.
Just like all the other times, on the third day: Heartrate drops by 20....... sleep doubles........ isn't that amazing? HA!!!
There wasn't anything super special on the trip..... the haunted houses were ok (not scary).... the food was ok...... but the hotel was a lot better than the other ones I've tried. That was a super win. Maybe next year I will try a different amusement park. Something new. Or maybe next year I won't be alone (that'd be new too)....... you never know.

Crazy enough, even though I was the one on vacation it's W with all the exciting stuff.
They sentenced OM....... he's staying in prison for a few months more, has to write a detailed apology which will be published in the national newspaper for the whole country to read, and has to pay W for all expenses and suffering within a year or....... BACK TO PRISON!!! 
I have to admit, I'm surprised.
For W it's a big win. I think it was very good for her healing to confront someone who had wronged her and not back down. It absolutely is a definitive "goodbye" to OM. That door is shut.
She also closed on her condo, so that door has also shut.

As for W..... she was texting me during vacation, and being extra nice. She left for her vacation (she's meeting MIL in Canada for three weeks)....... but I came home to a clean home, she's sending pictures of all the places she's going, she's saying "you'd like this - you'd like that". Hmmmmm.
How the mind changes.
Very obvious she's trying, and trying.

On to the little hound!!!! He was so happy for me to go pick him up at my mom's........ he got home and ran as fast as he could to the bed and jumped in. HA!!!! He has a charmed little life, and he doesn't mind hanging out with me all night. Such a good and honest little creature.

Well, that's it for me. Back to "normal".

One day at a time,

-SS

[Biscuit]

Nice update SS. The vacation sounds like it was very relaxing!

The OM drama - case shut on that in more ways than one. That can only be a positive.  Sounds like W is in a good place too - that's great news.

Are you planning you're next vacation yet? I know you like to have one to look forward to!!

B

[MadLuv]

Glad the vaca was relaxing. Still can’t get over the prisoner OM. Crazy!!!

[Biscuit]

I think SS's OM story has got to be the craziest yet on HS MadLuv, he's actually in prison for what he did to SS's wife!! Totally nuts.

[Standing Strong]

Are you planning you're next vacation yet? I know you like to have one to look forward to!!

B

Yup.... I have the next three already booked and completely paid for!!! HA!!! 
Oct, Dec, and Mar. One week each.

Not slowing down, I'm speeding up!!! 

-SS