[Baxter1]

From what I see in here I can’t really disagree. whatever she does with the ‘space’ is up to her I would imagine. I’m going to use my ‘space’ to travel and hang out with friends new and old.

[Baxter1]

Journaling:

Baxter and I are getting settled in the new place and it’s not the worst thing. We’re getting into a routine and setting up the place my way. W asked if I needed help setting  up and I told her this is something I have to do for myself.

I’ve never really lived alone so having a place to ‘make my own’ is fun in a way. I’m really enjoying the growth opportunities from this. The awkwardness of seeing each other every day is gone and it’s helping with detachment.

I’m setting it up so I see the boys at least once a week and go out for dinner, or an activity. They can always come over and see Baxter and I so I’m looking forward to their visits. We’ll see how the contact with W is in the coming months. She can set the pace as to contact, it will interesting to see how this next phase goes.

[Reinventing]

You sound good, almost like you have some relief from it all being right in your face before.

Good idea on setting it up all on your own so it feels like your home after living at a house that was a strained home environment.

Yes, free yourself from trying to impact contact with her. That would be draining.

I think your sons are going to enjoy a more relaxed dad and quality time with you.

[UrsaMajor]

I remember that phase too but I didn't get any "help" offered (good for you to say "Thanks but no thanks"). I made my apartment mine. MLCxW2 did come over (before the D) for Christmas then and was quite sad as she noted that I had made my apartment quite comfortable for me, each kid had their own bedroom outfitted and I was growing forward with my life while she was wallowing along in her pit of self-made misery.

I too had never had a "place of my own" before so it was an experience to discover exactly what "my" style was.....

[Baxter1]

Journaling:

Left court today feeling ok. W will try to assume the mortgage, this way the rate stays the same and she just takes the whole thing over and buys me out. I doubt she will qualify but who knows, stranger things have happened. The process takes about 6 months since my payments aren’t ‘regular income ’ until 6 months have passed. That being said we have another 6 months until the next date.

It is a great relief to know that we have 6 more months and that I feel I’ve taken it as far as I can. Either she gets the house or we have to sell it. No matter the income I’ll be fine and I will continue to see the kids and come home to Baxter. On the way out of the court she asked me why I was postponing this, the marriage is over and shes NOT changing her mind. All script Im sure but I just validated that although it wasn’t perfect I want to hold on until S16 graduates.

Time will tell what the next 6mo brings.

[Baxter1]

Journaling:

It’s been two months and Baxter and I are settling in nicely in our new place. He loves the ‘Bark Park’ and I love that we’re close to town so I can go shopping and enjoy the waking trails around town. I’m getting out more with friends and also doing my own thing. Exploring new interests and traveling a lot more for work. I’m happy that I found a place that’s close to work and the kids. I see then when I can, being teens they have their own things going on but it’s nice to grab dinner here and there with them.

W and I are cordial, we had an exchange student here so I helped with that, playing tourist in our town was fun. Spring is coming and so is spring cleaning. Weeding, mulching, mowing and the like.
Seeing that I don’t live at home any more I won’t be involved in any of this, unfortunately she will have to fend for herself this year. Getting the garden and back yard ready was always our thing. We’d go to the store and pick out flowers, plant them, mulch, all that fun stuff. I do miss that but she wants to be independent so it’s all on her this year.

Other than that looking into taking some beekeeping courses(just for fun) and more travel plans for thus summer(7 states to go!)