[KayDee]

In my most annoying child moments, my mum used to say, with great exasperation 'you'd try the patience of a saint' - sound familiar

Happy Valentines Day to you mcm and to the rest of us kind compassionate souls.

[mcm64d]

Thank you KayDee. Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Wish I had my therapist this week but she put me on every other. Need to vent this garbage to her.

And my ex told me that her father would be glad to meet me to get me this stuff. He didn’t want to help me in the beginning of this because he didn’t want to be in the middle. And now… he wants to be directly in the middle… I’m being petulant I know but it was good to vent and give her a piece of my mind. Will it do much else? Nope☺️

[mcm64d]

Made a big mistake and asked for my past 7 years' tax information which she took. She wants to give that to her father to give to me also. I told her last night that I do not want my financial information shared with anyone and to please send this stuff to her lawyer to send to me. My new address, financial information, and any other information should never be disclosed without my consent.

Know what she does today? Texts me that she is still trying to get me what I "need" (its the law and the checks are part of HER Property Settlement Agreement, but of course it is me being needy) and that her father would like to know a date and time to meet. Told her one final time that none of this information should be shared with anyone. Then I told her she is now blocked for a period of time because she is not respecting my boundaries.

She needs to go away for good......

[mcm64d]

So I have been feeling pretty good about venting stuff to her but now it’s eating at me that she is buying it appears to be a house with the money I worked so hard for. Just unfair. Wish I could get away from my roller coaster of emotions for a while

[JohnnyBravo]

So I have been feeling pretty good about venting stuff to her but now it’s eating at me that she is buying it appears to be a house with the money I worked so hard for. Just unfair.

Sometimes I hope my ex-wife quickly wastes her settlement on clothes and trips, and then realizes she'll be dependent on her sister for the rest of her life. Then I think, "But I worked HARD for that money, I don't want it to go to waste!"

(My ex was always pretty frugal... I have no idea how she's doing now, but there seemed to be some significant things she just didn't understand.)

Hang in there!

[mcm64d]

JB- Mine was frugal as well. She was free to spend as she wished as long as the utilities were paid.

Besides how hard I worked for it, I worry a little that she is immediately buying what I assume is a house. I know this whole process has gone by in a flash, from separated to basically divorced in 6 months, but buying a house immediately after selling one seems really warp speed to me. Maybe I am wrong?

Any and all opinions are welcomed and thank you all!!

[Hoosier Daddy]

My EW was frugal also.  I made 3X what she did and paid all the major bills. She used her earnings on misc stuff and to help her mom and sister.  Looking back I wonder if I made it too easy on her.  Since the D last year she bought a 350k home, spent 40k on renovations and has 2 new 40k vehicles while me and our sons all drive vehicles with over 200k miles on them.  She is trying to buy happiness.  Wonder if she realizes she has to pay gains taxes on all the mutual fund shares she sold?  Soon the cash will all be gone and she will need to access retirement funds to maintain her current lifestyle.

I get why you’re  angry.  You worked hard for this and she’s treating it like lottery winnings.

When I start to feel this way I just step back and think: I gave her the gift of financial stability while we were together and after she left.  I can’t control that she chose to squander it.

HD

[WHY]

It’s sad reading this.  My STBXW was also extremely frugal.  And she’s spending now like there’s no tomorrow. 

It’s sad to see. It really is.  She’s a different human being.   I hope she takes care of her lotto winnings from our settlement but I don’t have much faith. 

[mcm64d]

Buying happiness may well explain it.

That would definitely explain the speed at which she is doing things. Seemingly everyday I am hearing or reading that after x amount of years separated, divorce has now begun.

And here I am a little over six months since bomb drop and its separation, sale of house, divorce, and buying a house. I applaud her, I could never made all of those changes in such a short period of time.

I am sorry you are going thru this or have gone thru this WHY and HD

[WHY]

I actually view this as progress on your W's part because it's movement through her tunnel.  She's basically running through the tunnel at the moment.  I think RCR said something like the brightest flames burns out the fastest. 

Let her go.  The more check boxes she checks off that do not provide her with happiness, the closer she gets to her awakening.  New house, still unhappy.  New car, still unhappy.  New boyfriend, still unhappy.  The MLCer will keep going and going until they cant anymore.   Some tragically never stop.  This is their path.  Not your circus.