Thank you for the kind words, Reinventing. Yes, learning about the divorce process and preparing for if/when that should occur, isn’t something I expected I’d be doing a year ago. When I was talking to my lawyer and crying on the phone, she said to me, “Nobody gets married to get divorced.” I guess sometimes the only way up is down. I try to tell myself I am learning valuable skills, no matter what the outcome is.
So today I am journaling in order to help decompress after having to text H about one of our adult children aging out of our health insurance. That part wasn’t too bad.
Then H texted and said if the 3 youngest haven’t had a fever or picked up anything else from the neighbor kids, he would pick them up Monday before dinner and bring them back Tuesday before dinner, provided he could borrow the SUV, instead of picking them up in his car. We had been sick all last week with Covid and he didn’t ask how any of us were doing. He complained he didn’t have anywhere for them to sleep. I said they would be fine camping in with him (he is renting a luxury apartment. The rent is almost as much as our mortgage). I told him be careful about our youngest son. His older brother and sister told me that he was leaning over the balcony railing last time they visited. H said that’s not possible because the railing is too tall. I said ok. I was just going by what the other kids told me. I said I would talk to them about it. He said he would, too. I just kept straight on topic throughout our texting today and didn’t react to anything or get defensive.
Currently he is paying on the mortgage, bills and we get $800/month deposited into one of his bank accounts I have access to. I am getting my ducks lined up. I now have an online bank account with a small cash deposit with my off the record earnings. I’m only leaving enough for a retainer fee, if/when things go south. We have a good canning garden this year. We are all caught up on our dental work. I am working Swag Bucks for Amazon gift cards, for emergency shopping. I have quite a bit of savings at the First Bank of Amazon 😄.
I have managed to slowly accumulate Visa gift cards, averaging 25$/week. I have a cash nest in an undisclosed location. I am part of an online neighborhood group that has a hiring section. I’m looking for a job cleaning houses close by. I’m just preparing for if/when TSHTF.
I find myself wondering how long this stage of MLC will last. H is living at his new place, but he has been taking over a month to get all of his stuff moved out. He even bought furniture kits for a coffee table and barstools and dropped them off here for one of the kids to put together and varnish. When they are finished, he is supposed to come pick them up and take them back to his place. The kid putting together is dragging her feet and understandably so. H
monsters one minute and takes my stuff the next minute. I am missing my favorite purple shirt, all my charging cords and a BP monitor I bought, plus some homemade jams and jellies. It’s really weird. It’s challenging to detach.
Today is Sunday and all of the kids friends were spending family time at their homes and couldn’t play today. I’m not alone though. Two other families on our street are in the same bought as we are. One family, a good, upright family, church-going, adopted a bunch of kids from Russia, one of the kids is a sweet special needs boy named Kai. The mom of the family is legally blind and Kai helps her around the house. The Dad holds an auction at his house and then just leaves…Out of the blue. Another family down the street that’s a 3 generation family home. Good up Church family. The Grandparents were the original elders of their church. The parents are wonderful and loving. They have 5 children. Then there’s us. A year ago, we home churched. He fellowshipped online with other Messianic Jewish Believers, we prayed together, I supported H when he started having health problems. The kids and I took on more home repair and managing our acre of fruit trees. We had our problems but I never thought someone could just throw away an entire family. Right now, on this planet, there are parents and spouses crying over the loss of their loved ones. They would do anything to have those precious loved ones back. These MLCers appear be doing anything they can to get rid their families. So, that’s what I am feeling right now.
I am so sorry for the emotional word vomiting….
I should probably go back to the articles about “why” MLCers do this again, and not take it too personally.
Thank you for the space to unload. I can’t afford therapy, but a journal sure helps.
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It’s been 2 months