[Mamma Bear]

 IT is perfect...Clown Man wearing a mask.

[TrustingMyHP]

kikki, your story's truly chilling.  It's hard to imagine such women exist.  I've always known they do but, well, I never thought such a person would ever be in my life.

What's so disturbing is that, when one's H is "ripe" for MLC, these women will appear in their life.  My H met his OW while standing in line to attend a lecture on spirituality(!) That's his story anyway.

H's OW has been married twice, divorced her 2nd H of 15 years to be with my H.  H tells me that OW's first husband was an alcoholic and her second husband was "abusing her" and that's why she had to leave him.  When I asked what type of abuse H told me that he hit her during a fight.  This fight happened to occur at the time my H and OW began their PA.  Coincidence? 

It's all so sordid.  People without a conscience are scary.

I'd like to tell a story about myself related to this.  30 years ago I was working at a small college and became infatuated with the president, a man 15 years older than me.  We worked closely together.   He was married and had two young daughters.  I knew he was smitten with me, too and, for a brief period, I fantasized about having an affair with him; how I could signal to him my interest, etc. (I'd been married for 11 years to my H at this time.)

One day I was lying on my bed dreamily thinking about having this affair when I suddenly thought about his wife and what my having an affair with her H would do to her (I knew her slightly.)  It was the first time I'd considered her at all.  Then I thought about what it would do to his young daughters.  Well it was like a bucket of cold water being thrown on my face.  I remember sitting up in bed and thinking, "I can't hurt this woman.   She's done nothing to me.   What am I thinking?"   

Although I continued to be infatuated, I never again thought about initiating an affair.  I continued to have strong feelings for the man but my "affair planning" was over.   In time, of course, the infatuation faded and today I can't even believe I seriously thought about doing it.

My point is I think this is the reaction of "sane" people.  I suspect most people fantasize at some point in their lives, whether they're married or not, about having an affair with someone who is "off limits" to them because of being married, being engaged, huge age difference, geography, ex of a friend, whatever, but they don't do it. 

However, to be compasionate to our MLCers, most people aren't going through MLC when they make such decisions not to have an affair.  Our MLCers are exceptions.  I'm not condoning their actions, I'm simply saying that I believe people in MLC have temporarily lost their ability to make conscious moral choices and are hyper susceptible to turning to an affair to distract them from their pain/depression.  It's a complicated dynamic that's going on within them, unique to their "condition."

TMHP

M  58
H  60
D  22
M  38 yrs.
BD  Jan. '11
H living with OW

[Mamma Bear]

     Trusting,    Very well said. I agree. It's weird isn't it?   I guess when someone is desperate and needy their conscience is over ridden by their own issues  . 
      I still can't believe that the one time D11 met OW D said"My Mom misses and loves my Dad and wants him to come home."

   She said "I understand."   
    Nice personality. Nice core values. Nice way to hook up with a child and converse.   This is the convenience store OW. Price check aisle two....
 Reality check Aisle 3.

[TrustingMyHP]

"Reality Check in aisle 3"!  Oh MB, thanks for giving me the best laugh I've had all week!  We need to laugh as much as we can through all this.

Thanks again!

TMHP

M  58
H  60
D  22
M  38 yrs.
BD  Jan. '11
H living with OW

[Synicca]

I see all us LBS's in aisle 3!! Where are ALL the OW's and H's??? Maybe they got Carjacked on the way here??? hehe

[StandandDeliver]

I asked how she felt about it, and she said it was a very easy thing to slip into, and as she has no respect whatsoever for relationships, she didn't feel any remorse for being involved with a married man with kids.

Since just about EVERYTHING is wrong with this statement, I don't quite no where to begin, but I would note that it is interesting that it is extremely likely this woman will never be able to sustain any form of relationship and the fact that she is still single is telling. The married men went for her, yes, but why is she still alone? Because she represents commitment free sex with an emphasis on commitment free. My guess is that she is desperate to have a long-term relationship. DESPERATE. But has written them off because her mentality means that a) she attracts the wrong men as you said and b) she has no respect for relationships so in the end relationships have no respect for her.

[Moving Forward]

Part of my journey has lead me to a website called baggagereclaim.com- it started formyquest to understand why  W become OW and to separate out the behaviour from what my exH was telling me about her (5 star awesomeness!!). Anyway I still read the updates and all of these woman have low self esteem and beton long shots and 'future fake'

My exH OW- ex girlfriend from 27 years ago - was 42 never been married and doesn't have any children. My gut instinct is that she has made a habit of being with emotionally unavailable men, probably married, as she is incapable of having a grown up relationship.

I was married to my exH for 14 years - you don;t get to that by being rubbish at relationships....she is now married to exH - married to an MLCer and NOT KNOWING what's going on.....I've got the good end of the stick I think!!

Right I'm going out tonight GALing!!!

((hugs))

P
xx

[With Gods Help!]

Hi MB............ i after laugh at your statement about o/w being in aisle 3.............i doubt that i think she will be in the damaged goods section with a reduced sticker on her......or  shes that damaged that they throw in her in the trash lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Synicca]

WGH,

Maybe they will have to put her in the "Lost and Found" first for atleast 30 days...then they will have no choice
but to throw her in the dumpster...hehee who's goona claim THAT!?

[Synicca]

Oh wait......Our mush heads of H's would! bummer...LOL LOL