[readytofixmyselffirst]

Dear Buggs,

Your h does need some male friends. First of all, they would have all told him what a hot wife he has!!!! Had they seen ow and you, they would have told him he was absolutely nuts. Why would anyone straight up trade a shiny red Porshe for an old Ford Pinto? Then they would asked him if it was okay to date you!!!!  LOL

Ready

PS- More posts on scarfs and plaid dresses, okay?

[Glimmer]

My H keeps all his family and his one or two pre MLC friends at arms length.  He was never one for going out much before MLC, and we would spend any free time together. He has never spoken to any of them about our situation, he kindly left that for me to do.

He now has a new group of friends, OW is a part of this group. I believe most of them are college tutors and OW introduced H to them. They apparently share a lot of interests, running, walking, good conversation etc. None of them know me so who knows what picture he has painted of me.

I don't imagine any of them know  the 'real' H though,  as he has only socialised with them all since his MLC.

[LoveMeMyself]

I'd like to add that my exH is very close to his brother (twin) and SIL.  They totally "dumped" me as soon as he left me.  I tried several times to contact them as I thought they might care enough to at least give me some comfort..........but nadda!  They told him they didn't want to get "involved" but yet they already knew about OW and actually "protected" his "friendship" with her and defended it like I was the bad guy.  I was so hurt and completely shocked.  It really makes me wonder about people who can treat others so indifferent in such a sudden way.  I didn't do a thing to either of them........blood thicker than water?  Of course, I have no idea what he may have told them.........made me out to be a wicked witch, I suppose.  I know it had to be horrible and mostly all lies!  He later told me that they thought I never liked them.........really?  Give me a break!  So, he stays in contact with them and I'm sure they go out to dinner together and probably other things.  I wonder about his somewhat "odd" relationship with SIL though.  It seems to me that he might be a little too close......if you catch my drift.  They were friends and worked together before his brother married her..........hmmmmmm.

[LettingGo]

However red necks, who fish into a bucket in there living room is not my idea of a friend, or someone who will sleep with a married man, not friend  material.

Mercury......this laugh was worth a million bucks to me today! I REALLY needed it!!

[ece711]

OK... so most of the replies indicates that MLCers don't have much friends, but in the same token they are also lying to us.  So my follow up question is...  what makes us think that they don't have new friends that we are not aware of ?   Friends that agrees to what they are doing, and or friends that believes their story about their Ex's that they left behind.

[Buggy31]

ECE
I think that is the magic question.  I don't ask much because really I NEED to stay out of it but I do wonder if there are people who buy into his BS and in my sitch they have to be pretty emotionally immature and DELUSIONAL to believe it...but I'm sure they're out there. 

[LoveMeMyself]

That's just it..........we all know they are not themselves and that nothing they say is honest but others don't see them like we do.  It's like they are two different people.  I'm so amazed that his brother/sister-in-law can't see that somethings not right about him.  Nobody in their right mind does all the damage that he did.......spending all the money buying stuff........plus, buying things for the OW and be normal!  I mean, really?  Who buys 4 vehicles and two motorcycles, an apartment full of furniture, clothes, electronics, etc. in 6 months time and be alright?  That's not normal!  But we, the LBS'ers are the crazy ones?  I honestly don't know if my exH is with anybody or not.  I don't know if he's making new friends or not.  I know that most of the people we know are supportive of me.  They see that he's not acting himself and most of them are so disappointed in how he treated me.........but nobody will confront him and talk to him.  I don't know.  I feel so lost and alone in this situation........even though this site is full of people just like me going through the same thing.  Unbelievable! I just don't know any more.

[BANS]

My husband had lots of friends and a big family.  But after BD, he pretty much isolated himself from his family and friends.  Over time he started spending time with his brothers , but has really only kept in contact with one of his male friend simply because that friend made the effort.  Most of his friends got angry at him and have given up on him.  One friend of his really made my day when I ran into him.  He said he had gone to a nascar race with my H and met the OW.  He said he wanted to ask my husband what kind of car ran over her face.  I got a great laugh and real moral boost with that.  I suspect he has a new group of friends, much younger, from his workplace as our son has mentioned a few names I was familiar with from his place of work.  He even alienates himself from his son, as the only time my son sees his dad is when he initiates it.  Pretty sad for my son!!

[readytofixmyselffirst]

In reality, the form very superficial friendships with others if at all. The depression and the lies are enough to rob them of their energy. My w really doesn't hang out with anybody or has any real close friends. She has stupid om, but all of her close friends have stopped talking to her and dealing with her since she won't give up om and ignores her own children. The only thing that gets momma bears just as upset with someone hurting their kids is when they see someone ignoring their own kids.

I don't think they hate her, they have just left her behind. However, if she started working for her family again, I think they would welcome her back to the fold.

[Synicca]

My H keeps all his close friends at arms length as well. He has managed to visit all of his friends with OW.
but only to introduce, but has not went back.

H talks to 1 male friend at work. OW is from NY, so she has no friends here. H did finaly reconnect with his M
after them not speaking since Dec. So that was a good sign.

All his friends are dumb founded and most think he needs someone to knock him out. LOL Most of our friends
do NOT like the OW and refuse to speak to her.

As far as I know, They have not found "new" friends.