[CrazyStuff]

OP, I have 'joined' the Boomerang group; however, I can't decide whether my h. is low energy or not.   Immediately after BD he was manic and moved in with OW quickly - although probably quicker than he planned since I threw him out.   He then went about putting lots of energy into this new life away from me    He does not spew at me although this could be because I haven't let him near me and his monster, the little I have seen, is quite gentle. 

My kids have all said that he is 'depressed' or 'emotional, although also that he seems to be calmer recently.

My impression when I saw him recently is that he realises that he has messed up and yet does not know how to fix it so is trying his hardest to make his new life work.   He is not happy; more stoic than anything else. 

I think he is low energy even though his initial behaviour after BD was certainly manic and full of energy.

I would appreciate your thoughts on this.


CrazyStuff

[Trustandlove]

CS, I have thought about this as well; I think the high-energy types have "low" periods, but overall they are the ones that went quickly, DID stuff about sorting their new lives, etc.  This may be a spectrum as well, from the lowest lows (those who just lie on the sofa an moan) to the most manic monsters. 

I've sometimes even wondered about mine, but then look at what all he's done and think "goodness, that can't be low energy".  The new jobs, the toys, the trips, the women.....    even though I've seen him be very depressed during this process, he always "does" something -- never sits there and contemplates (or if he does, I don't see it).  So the last time he broke up with an OW he promptly took himself off for 3 weeks abroad, for example, before going right out and finding the next one. 

So by that reckoning yours would still be high-energy (or on the higher side, at least), even if he hasn't been horrible monster, filed papers, etc. 

You may well be right when you say that he realises that he has messed up but doesn't know how to fix it; he has to go through this phase as well; if he's stoic then that's part of it. 

I only say that because way back when, in my "early life" crisis, I went through that -- and at the end I realised that I COULD fix it, and then did, in a hurry.  But not until I decided to myself. 

x

[Mitzpah]

Ok, I joined Boomerang, however I think mine tends along the line towards on and off, at least, in relation to me.
His pattern of contact with me is generally only by text, e-mail and the rare phone call (always his initiative) on a weekly basis (once a week aorund Tues/Wednes/Thurs). His contact with the kids is more personal and he comes to the house when I am not there to have lunch and leave and pick up his laundry. He takes advantage of this time to talk to the kids and inform them of what he is doing, what his plans are...
What do you think? Am I correct in my assessment?

[LisaLives]

CS, I think we're in the same boat--I have not allowed mine to cling or boomerang, or any of that.  He said he wanted a divorce so he could marry his soulmate, so that's what I gave him.  I guess he might be low energy, but it seems like it must take a lot of energy to do what he's doing, and he has invested a lot in trying to be super-dad.  That's why I always doubted my H is in MLC, since he doesn't fit into any of the types--just more stuff to make me confused!!! 

[eternity]

I joined the boomerang

[OldPilot]

I joined the boomerang

YES we can see it under your name!

[eternity]

I joined the boomerang

YES we can see it under your name!

Does this mean I can offically behave as a boomerang  now 

[Mitzpah]

But I can't see my group next to my name... why is that?

[OldPilot]

But I can't see my group next to my name... why is that?

Because we can only see up to two one groups right now.
For you it makes the third group
You are in the group but we have no way to view it yet.

More Patience is required. 

[Mitzpah]

More Patience is required. 

Don't  you know that is wrong thing to say to  me!