[Darth Obo]

Female Clinging-B

- Still at home
- Still conducts normal house duties (if not too tired; and she is tired a lot, but still..)
- Still does things as family (mall, beach, etc)
- Still wants to do things with me (dinner, socializing, date night, etc)
- Will want to "make up" as soon as we have a "blow-up"
- Still sleeps with me; snuggles on occasion; initiates sex frequently
- will ask if I am OK or what is wrong if she thinks I look sad or angry
- Still wants to fix up the house...."nester"
- Still talks about future events together
- Several opportunities to leave; never left
- Tried "pushing" her to leave on a couple occasions; she broke down & initiated mini-T&G's to make up.

No "mean" Monster; appears to monster by seducing me & compassion through crying (me = sucker)

Waiting to "fall in love" with me again!

Most annoying & confusing MLCer type of them all, bar none!!!


OBO

[bookwrmmom]

Boomerang-Male
Not clinging because he is too far away due to work. Has NEVER gone more then a few days without calling (except 1 two week stretch where I forbade it- still called at leaf I once).
Uses bills or random stupid questions as a convenient excuse. Right now is monstering over MAJOR financial loss and blames me not his behavior.
Says he cares a great deal for me, and seems nearly desperate to be my friend. When I throw truth darts he shuts down and says leave him alone. But he always initiates contact back.
He is going to drive me insane....and it is a short trip there!

[Songanddance]

Bump.

Found this when doing a bit of forum housework and had forgotten what a good discussion it is especially when we have so many newbies.

[UnconditionalLove]

I think my H is a boomerang. Not sure if he is a clingy boomerang. Maybe someone can help me with that.  He definitely wanted a divorce since shortly after BD I don't love you blah, blah, blah.  He's having a EA which could have turned PA after almost two week being missing and came back like nothing every happen or that he was gone.  After I canceled mediation because he's in replay and everything is about him it was time for him to find another place to live.  He would have stayed here till the end. Up until that time we were going to dinner together, he would sit and watch tv with me for a few minutes, if I invited him somewhere he would go, etc. He does monster and is passive/aggressive but for the most part is usually chatty about nothing. NO R talk! We don't go there.  He does have a new found backbone with this MLC and thinks just because he demands something I'm going to respond. It's kind of funny to watch these aggressive times because they get him no where but he thinks they do.

Today we are starting our new boundaries.  We need to work together so I have set times from 10 - 2 where he can come to the apartment to work. We will do well with that.  I'm thinking he might go over to the clingy side a bit.  He doesn't call me names, down me in anyway unless maybe if monster comes out and he's mad about some divorce stuff.  He really doesn't put me down. Maybe in his mind he does. I know he thinks I'm controlling but he also allows me to do all the work.  But, he has never wavered on divorce because he wants out so he can start his new life with OW who is 20 years younger than him.

[toomanytearss]

Mines a crazy clinging boomerang. 
When he first left he was a monster clinging boomerang - for about the first 4 months.  Then I found out about her.  Went nc (this was the second time of nc) and went to a lawyer.  He turned from monster clinging boomerang to confused clinging boomerang. 
I never contact him.  He contacts me.  Sometimes I respond, sometimes I don't.  He's also paranoid.  If I don't respond he will call and text non stop, so I have to turn off my phone.  He swears I'm still filing for divorce and my lawyer just can't find him to serve him.  LOL  There's a pretty funny story behind that one.   
He swears he's coming home.  That's the newest thing. 
He also used the kids to try and stay in the loop with me when I was nc.  It doesn't work for him anymore because the kids don't talk to him. 
I think it's very hard to detach from a clinging boomerang, but I also think once you do, they are really in for an eye opener because their antics have no effect, and the letting go process starts. 
In Florida we have these little green frogs, and you'll find them stuck to your windows and sides of your house with their little sticky feet.  They remind me of h.  LOL

[Songanddance]

Yep it sounds like a boomerang UL.

I know he thinks I'm controlling but he also allows me to do all the work.

Then don't do it! The most enabling person is unwittingly the most controlling because you create a dependency and clingers have to learn that that aspect of you is gone!

[UnconditionalLove]

Haha Songanddance. That's easier said than done.  Now that he's out of the apartment other than working here during the day I am now just taking care of the apartment and my needs. However, I'm still the bill payer and the business runner of our company. I can't let that go if I do then there would be no money coming in.  He doesn't stay focused and has never paid a bill or even knows how to run his own business.  It's all he's got right now to do the 3 things I need him to do so I can bill out invoices and bring money in. 

Just now he did his work for about 25 mins and then went to the kitchen to make tea. Then got side tracked into looking into a cabinet and I saw he is taking back some vitimans to his hotel room when he leave.  Now about about 10 mins of being in the kitchen he's back to work but in about 10 more minutes he'll have to pee and then in about 20 minutes he'll have too OK you see where this is going. 

I'm staying in my room because what he really would like is for me to talk to him and start a conversation about something not important.  And, I'm trying to detach from all that but stay friendly.

[blackice]

mine definitely is a clinger. so very much so. i have not had one day go by since he left where i have not heard from him and the longest period of time that has gone by where he hasn't seen me is 5 days.

[TopsyTurvy]

I've decided my H is a Boomerang.  He uses the excuse of sorting finances, every 2-3 weeks although lately it's been more like 1-2 weeks.  I told him this week once we sell the rental (which he agreed to) he would NEVER have to contact me again....he's now going to think about selling it.

I honestly wish he would stop contacting me....it's more healthy for me to have NC.

[Strongcurrent]

Well I guess I have a boomerang - tells me hie is "gone and doesn't think he's coming back" yet wants to stay every weekend (Friday to Sunday) and once in the week as well.  When he is here he cooks, does some chores and even has long baths . Twice now he has also invited friends (mine) over for dinner !!!! To me it's like he is verbalising running away but his actions betray him. SC