[Anjae]

...and the dynamics of the LBS.... In hindsight we see how this is not at all love, but just infatuation, but when we get these infos around BD, they hurt like hell since the LBS hears from all sides comments like 'sometimes people just fall in love', declaring suddenly MLC-OW love as the real love.

Distance, hindsight and knowledge of MLC help us to see these type of stuff in a different light. I was lucky, I only found this things years after BD. Not sure how I would had reacted if I had found them at BD…

One sticks out in my head:  OW - Ewwww, I feel like I am 15 and in love for the first time!

Think there was something like that in one, or more, of the letters between Mr J and OW1.    MLC script at its best. 
Yes, lawprofessor, they are pretty much the same thing. You know how it is, MLCers aren’t particularly creative or original, they all, take it or leave a few details, say the same things.

[StillStanding]

Distance, hindsight and knowledge of MLC help us to see these type of stuff in a different light. I was lucky, I only found this things years after BD. Not sure how I would had reacted if I had found them at BD…

As one who did find the texts and emails before my wife moved out, I can tell you: it messes with you pretty badly.

You realize that the person you are in love with is not the person you think they are: they have lied to you repeatedly, they are keeping secrets from you, and they have this whole other life that you knew nothing about.

Several months after my wife moved out I found the OM on Facebook. There were pictures from a trip to Seattle that he and my wife took together; there was nothing scandalous, he just had his arm around her. I figured that he must have come to visit her in her new place. Then I realized that I'd misread the date on the pictures: it wasn't after she moved out, it was much earlier—about 4 months before BD—before I even knew he was an OM.

It didn't hurt that much; it was just another example of how little I really knew of what was going on in my life. I don't know if she was on a work-related trip, or was going for a weekend away "with friends"; I don't know if they were "just friends" or if it had been getting serious by then.

I still have all of that stuff tucked away. I almost never look at it, but it actually comforts me to have it because it's proof that I wasn't imagining things.

[SSG]

As one who did find the texts and emails before my wife moved out, I can tell you: it messes with you pretty badly.

You realize that the person you are in love with is not the person you think they are: they have lied to you repeatedly, they are keeping secrets from you, and they have this whole other life that you knew nothing about.

I still have all of that stuff tucked away. I almost never look at it, but it actually comforts me to have it because it's proof that I wasn't imagining things.

In some way, you were lucky StillStanding, to find it all out years later.
I found the FB messages, after BD and before he moved out.  Upon finding his secret FB and pass, I waited until he was asleep and read them all from 1am until 7am.  Every word, in the beginning, ripped me apart.  The second and third time I read them, did not help.  I Googled how to copy and found a link where you can download your entire FB page, messages, photos and all...so I did that for his secret name.

I did not re-read that stuff for months.  Now, when I look at it, I can laugh. I can read it for what it really is, how the Czech slave driver demands to hear sweet nothings from H, and how sometimes he would reply with the weather ...CRAZY

But you are right...it showed me what a mess he is, internally, how desperate he is to be validated and the lies he told her to make her happy.

Oh yes, lots of lies.  And countless times the Czech slave driver would say 'hope you will not lie to me like you did to W' and he always replying, 'oh no, you're different'!   

(my favorite link ref. this, posted it somewhere earlier)
http://www.heartless-b!tc#es.com/rants/manipulator/special.shtml

And it does give proof to the insanity and shows us all, we were the stable ones in the marriage.  Not saying we are faultless, I wasn't.  But he was heading to 'The Outer Limits".

SSG

[Darth Obo]

At the same time there is so much 'truth' in these emails, how the MLCler feel, like 'Young again', 'like a teenager', or just 'I feel again'. Just so sad really. How the OW does not realize this is beyond me. Either complete naivity or trying to profit from something.

My wife actually verbalized.....I feel young and I can actually feel again....or some BS like that when I busted EA1.

I have several screen shots of the EA2 text from FB. Once I was calmed down and looked at them objectively, I could see the complete regression.....it was exactly a teenage girl flirting with an older guy....it was humorous but in a sad sort of way. Unfortunately, I kind of look down on her now; pretty disgusted with her to be honest.


OBO

[SSG]

My wife actually verbalized.....I feel young and I can actually feel again....or some BS like that when I busted EA1.

I have several screen shots of the EA2 text from FB. Once I was calmed down and looked at them objectively, I could see the complete regression.....it was exactly a teenage girl flirting with an older guy....it was humorous but in a sad sort of way. Unfortunately, I kind of look down on her now; pretty disgusted with her to be honest.

OBO

When the LBS can read the correspondence without emotion, well, personally, words fail me.  And there are times when I was angry, felt like printing it all up and flinging it at the both of them, in public. Of course, would never do that. Since the beginning I have taken the high road.  But my evil twin would love to do it since H does not know I have read it all.

SSG

[Darth Obo]

My wife actually verbalized.....I feel young and I can actually feel again....or some BS like that when I busted EA1.

I have several screen shots of the EA2 text from FB. Once I was calmed down and looked at them objectively, I could see the complete regression.....it was exactly a teenage girl flirting with an older guy....it was humorous but in a sad sort of way. Unfortunately, I kind of look down on her now; pretty disgusted with her to be honest.

OBO

When the LBS can read the correspondence without emotion, well, personally, words fail me.  And there are times when I was angry, felt like printing it all up and flinging it at the both of them, in public. Of course, would never do that. Since the beginning I have taken the high road.  But my evil twin would love to do it since H does not know I have read it all.

SSG

In a way I am glad I saw it for what it was and what she is now. It has really gone a long way to push me inro further detachment. I am reallly at a point now where I am starting to question my stand; she really is not attractive to me as a person / woman / wife right now.

 I was told to trust my gut and the gut says hang out a bit longer; but things like this make it fade fast!


OBO

[SSG]

In a way I am glad I saw it for what it was and what she is now. It has really gone a long way to push me inro further detachment. I am reallly at a point now where I am starting to question my stand; she really is not attractive to me as a person / woman / wife right now.

 I was told to trust my gut and the gut says hang out a bit longer; but things like this make it fade fast!

OBO

Me too OBO, as I can see it for what it really is.  But I understand where you are coming from.  If you really loved your wife before MLC, I would keep reminding my self she is mentally, a complete mess to help me stand. 

If I saw signs that my H was thinking clearly and understood the consequences of what he was doing, I would no longer stand.  But I am around him enough to see he is a lost soul at the moment. And to quote someone else, "I cannot leave him in the hands of a woman who does not care about his welfare".

SSG