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Author Topic: Discussion Making Your Way On Your Terms

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  • MLCer Type: Clinging Boomerang
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Discussion Re: MLCer's that have returned or are showing signs of returning
#10: October 19, 2011, 05:07:00 PM
My husband and I are in the process of buying a house together.... he has "ended it for good" with OW AGAIN, LOL!! The house was not PLANNED, but when it came across our paths, our partnership KICKED IN... real estate is where we are really good together... and he wants the house for the KIDS... he feels they are distant from him... He's still dealing with OW... but SHE is the residual pain in the arse.... not sure if he will RUN to her again... if he does, it is just dying embers of guilt and emotional blackmail...

The more I validate him and his FRUSTRASTIONS!!!!!!!, the more he opens up to me... says he "likes talking to me".... told me today that he hoped I wouldn't look at the six months of bank account statements I have to give to mortgage company..... afraid it will hurt me.... I admitted that what I saw "without looking" was triggering me.... it hurt... but that I could take it... and move forward. The fact that he acknowledged the OBVIOUS.. that his actions in the past six months would hurt me, was HUGE!! Doesn't take the hurt or the past away, but six months ago, he was all over OW and trying to make a life with her.... I will NOT let it destroy me or determine my future.

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"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."

-- Will Rogers

The softest of stuff in the world penetrates quickly the hardest insubstantial. It enters where no room is...

Lao Tsu
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Re: MLCer's that have returned or are showing signs of returning
#11: October 19, 2011, 05:09:19 PM
I love hearing stories of returning MLCers....gives us LBS lots of hope!!!
Keep the stories coming- need all the hope I can get right now
 :) :)
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Re: MLCer's that have returned or are showing signs of returning
#12: October 20, 2011, 03:29:36 AM
Congratulations Patience!!

I hope I'm able to post on here one day (not like now, of course).
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One day at a time.

Thundarr
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Re: MLCer's that have returned or are showing signs of returning
#13: October 20, 2011, 03:44:03 AM
Not sure if these are true signs H is thinking of returning someday, but he made arrangements for the 2 of us to visit his aunt and uncle on Oct 30. He said he felt Auntie wouldn't give him the time of day if he went alone.

Also, he said that the holidays would be weird this year because it was probably only going to be S26 here. I didn't invite him for anything. He is also extremely affectionate with me. Lots of hugs and kisses.

Just thought I'd chime in with this in case anyone is seeing something similar.
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trying2bok
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Re: MLCer's that have returned or are showing signs of returning
#14: October 20, 2011, 04:11:00 AM
My H seems to be making progress. He lives at home, broke off PA in July, she still calls but he said he is phasing that out ::). He has been sleeping next to me every night instead of his third floor "Man Cave" ML about once a week. Last week he said he doesn't want a divorce and that I'm his best friend, even put his arm around me. We are leaving for a three week vacation together on our boat in the Caribbean with some of our neighbors. We are planning a halloween party together next week. We go out every Friday night together with friends. I'm hopeful but know things could change. He appears tired everyday, sleeeping alot and is slowing down replay behaviors.
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Me  53
H  68
Married 23 yrs
BD 8/10
OW 10/10 Gone 7/11
8/11 home again
8/12 Reconnecting
11/13 Rebuilding a stronger marraige


Old name: Wondering what to do
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Re: MLCer's that have returned or are showing signs of returning
#15: October 24, 2011, 12:48:45 PM
bumping this up for anyone else that is seeing signs of reconnections...:D
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Me 45
H deceased 11/09/2015
D17
Married 16 yrs Together 25 yrs
BD 09/10
living with OW 12/10
OW moved out 03/11
H moved home 06/11
Affair ended 05/12 again and again and again
H Blocked xOW from contacting Him 10/12
Ended ALL contact with xOW Dec 26th 2012 (So I thought!) I filed for D June 10th 2013
Moved out.

--
"Never, ever be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well being of a person is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way."

"What if you woke up today with only the things you Thanked God for yesterday?"
B
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Re: MLCer's that have returned or are showing signs of returning
#16: October 24, 2011, 12:57:44 PM
Congrats Syn!  Yay!
As you know, my H never left physically but he surely was mentally gone.  He returned mentally some time ago though is still in MLC.  This phase is actually harder...or maybe its just different....

so happy for you!
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"I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me."
Mark Twain
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Re: MLCer's that have returned or are showing signs of returning
#17: October 24, 2011, 08:43:03 PM
Well last week my h told me that he's been constantly having second thoughts and that its driving him crazier then he already is... He wants to talk face to face this week. On Saturday... Yes an actual weekend night we met for a few hours to enjoy some time with each other. It was splendid... We decided to leave the issues for that night and just have some fun. The talk that he scheduled was originally for today but he hurt his back and the car engine blew... So it will be either Thursday or Friday. We talk all day long every day. Things seem to be different then the other touch and goes... Fingers crossed

OMR
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me : 44
H : 38
D20, D11, D7
BD 3/18/10
Found about OW 3/21/10
H moved out 5/13/10
5/16/10 OW found her fiancee hanging over their A
5/31/10 I miscarried our baby
10/1/10 H moved in with OW
10/13/10 I filed for D
I/5/11 H started to see me several times a week.
11/21/11 H moved home
in and out of mental institutes
2 /17/12 I filed a restraing order
3/8/12 H filed a D
D finalized 2/12/13
I
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Re: MLCer's that have returned or are showing signs of returning
#18: October 25, 2011, 06:25:15 AM
ExH asked me to move back home ( in a round about way) and I've offically been living here simce Oct 1st. But have been here since the end of June.
 ExOW has been over with as the PA and EA since the end of Jan. Totally gone since mid Sept when legal and criminal entanglements of hers have now been settled and he will not be needed to testify at trial.
He is very affectionate and we both try to say encouraging kind things to each other when the opportunity presents itself. Both of us still really scared and lack a lot of confidence. I think I admit to that more than he does. I still carry a lot of anger but am trying to work through it.
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Is it ego or spirit that governs us to question the answers; or answer the questions?
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Re: MLCer's that have returned or are showing signs of returning
#19: October 25, 2011, 06:33:06 AM
Congrats OMR!!!

There seems to be a wave of success stories here lately, or at least positive movement stories.  I hope this thread goes on forever!!
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One day at a time.

Thundarr
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