[Dandy Lion]

LettingGo...........you took the words right out of my mouth 

[Anjae]

... while he was in the shower, I pulled the hotel receipt with OW's name on it right out of the outer pocket of his briefcase... talk about wanting to get caught!! Then, at dinner, he asked me to make a toast, and I happily said "Let me think....." then I raised my glass and said "To HONESTY!" and his face fell....

this part really made me laugh! 

Agree with LG ideas. One not give them a try?

Dandy, to me the festive season is prety much as always, with my family.  Think my problem really is not the festive season is the "limbo". Nor we get divorced nor husband "wakes up"...Draining...

I'm spared have to "compete" with OW. Don't even know what sort of Christmas husband and her do. Plus, have all my family traditions, the ones since I born (and from before I born), so, they are my falmily stuff.

But may try/add something different this year.

[Dandy Lion]

I understand AnneJ I really do.  I am sure you will make the best of the festive season in whatever you do.  You are not alone, we are all here in the same pair of Christmas Stockings

[Anjae]

I understand AnneJ I really do.  I am sure you will make the best of the festive season in whatever you do.  You are not alone, we are all here in the same pair of Christmas Stockings

Yes we are. grrrr...could not they all just "wake up"...

[Love being on higher grounds]

Lisa,

this topic has been on my mind A LOT lately...

This is the 3rd Holiday Season of this for me and to make it very short...the first year absolutely SUCKED! Everyone was wearing smiles and faking it for the sake of the kids...horrible!

Last season was a little better...H was here for Christmas morning, but for Thanksgiving he was not, we went to my sisters...yes I did feel like everyone felt so bad for me...same with Christmas dinner...H didnt want to go with us, so we went and I felt the exact same I had on Thanksgiving...

This year, I am quite a bit more myself...finally! LOL

I am doing the cooking, I have the house all decorated with turkeys and Pilgrims...HAHA!!

H is joining us for dinner, and I have declined the offers to go elsewhere...Whether H was joining us or not I had decided that I LOVE to do the holidays...and this year, I am going to be back at it! All are welcome, but I will probably be the most comfortable one...Im due arent I??

Going to keep the memories alive and continue to make more!
HUgs,
L

[limitless]

This is my second holiday season without my spouse.

LBOHG described the 1st year to a tee.....Exactly as I remember it.  I was teary....crying, but put on a fake face for the kids.  We had separate holidays with the kids.

This year will be a repeat....separate holidays...except - I am in a better place.  Surprisingly enough,  - H's life hasn't changed a bit.  Still living with his parents - pretending to be happy.

Oh well......this is to be expected..........The progress this year...is me.

Hang in there.....Enjoy your holiday.....

Limitless

[Ez]

Hi All,

So this is my first year spending festive season without H.  As the days pass and christmas gets closer and closer i am dreading it.  I love Christmas and spending time with family and we have always gone camping for 10days after christmas.  I can't believe H doesn't want to see his kids christmas morning opening their Santa presents and I don't know how I'm going to let them go christmas afternoon to be with him.  Just sucks.

What I will probably do is fake it.  I'm going to do some special things with and for the kids and generally make their Christmas fun and exciting.  I think the stubborn streak in me wants to prove I can do this and do it well.  Mind you I'll probably curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out christmas afternoon when they are gone.

I do like DL idea of doing and giving to others and I think it's also a good lesson for the kids to remember others in need at this time of year.  So I think we'll do something together that is giving to people in need.

Sorry I couldn't be of anymore help other than to understand the extra pressure at this time of year.

Ez xx

[ziggee]

... while he was in the shower, I pulled the hotel receipt with OW's name on it right out of the outer pocket of his briefcase... talk about wanting to get caught!! Then, at dinner, he asked me to make a toast, and I happily said "Let me think....." then I raised my glass and said "To HONESTY!" and his face fell....

this part really made me laugh! 

Agree with LG ideas. One not give them a try?

Dandy, to me the festive season is prety much as always, with my family.  Think my problem really is not the festive season is the "limbo". Nor we get divorced nor husband "wakes up"...Draining...

I'm spared have to "compete" with OW. Don't even know what sort of Christmas husband and her do. Plus, have all my family traditions, the ones since I born (and from before I born), so, they are my falmily stuff.

But may try/add something different this year.

Odd that all... :/  Either they are REALLY supid or... they want to get caught. or something... I am not sure yet... W leaves the most incedibly stupid corrisponance up o her computer screen.  I am not sure if it is because she reads the bulk of her e-mail onher iphone or if she is trying to leave it up on the screen and then for what purpose.  I just ignore it and open up the browser and google recipes and what not... broser history completely blown away.... *sigh* Drives me NUTS if I really wanted to know... I cn find ways... I work in this industry... I don't want to know.. if I wanted to the things I could do would well. I dont know... Either they think we are stupid or.. NOT.  If NOT what do they want... really?  half the time i think W wants me to kcik her butt half way back to anciant times... what other explanation is there?  Too bad... its not going to happen.. she needs to suffer through ths herself till she decides to bolt her head on stright and figure this out for herself.  The moment I step in... I think.. I am screwed...  In the mean time... think I am a technical neophyte or something.  Which is odd she knows better... in the man time.. Ignorance is blisss its more fun then reality


Z.

[Anjae]

Odd that all... :/  Either they are REALLY supid or... they want to get caught. or something... I am not sure yet... W leaves the most incedibly stupid corrisponance up o her computer screen.  I am not sure if it is because she reads the bulk of her e-mail onher iphone or if she is trying to leave it up on the screen and then for what purpose.  I just ignore it and open up the browser and google recipes and what not... broser history completely blown away.... *sigh* Drives me NUTS if I really wanted to know... I cn find ways... I work in this industry... I don't want to know.. if I wanted to the things I could do would well. I dont know... Either they think we are stupid or.. NOT.  If NOT what do they want... really?  half the time i think W wants me to kcik her butt half way back to anciant times... what other explanation is there?  Too bad... its not going to happen.. she needs to suffer through ths herself till she decides to bolt her head on stright anOd figure this out for herself.  The moment I step in... I think.. I am screwed...  In the mean time... think I am a technical neophyte or something.  Which is odd she knows better... in the man time.. Ignorance is blisss its more fun then reality

I think they want to be caught. And to have high drama. If they get high drama that means you are still engaging with them, you react to them.

They need drama and lots of attention. When I stopped paying attention to husband he did not took long to file for a fault divorce process against me. It keeps me, even if I do not want to, somehow attached to the drama. Or so he thinks...Well, I can't run from the court case but I can let it up to my lawyer do deal with it.

I know what my husband wants, wants be to ask him why he is doing what he is doing. How come he can lie to the court, and is he not ashamed of it?...If I do that, well, he has is day! So, I don't do it. 

[Thundarr]

I'm dreading the holidays even though W has told the kids and I that she will still be a part of it.  She told D10 again today that she will be joining us for our Thanksgiving dinner here and that she will be here Christmas Eve when they get up to open their presents (didn't specifically say spending the night this time).  I won't have them spend separate holidays because they still live in the family home with me and W left of her own accord.  She abandoned them but I won't.  She will be invited to all of our holiday festivities and I've made it clear to her that the mother of my children will always be welcome in my home.  I don't know what it's going to be like, and the romantic side of me keeps thinking that a Christmas miracle might happen and and W will wake up and realize she wants to stay with the family she left behind.  Maybe it's not MLC.  Maybe she is a WAW and was just burned out.  I can keep praying, can't I?

I really dread having to do everything and pay for everything this year.  This is really tragic and this time of year has always been the best for me.  I HATE not being in a great mood around this time of year.  I just hate it.  I do want to take the advice of LG and the others on here who have suggested doing something to help those who are in greater need.  Perhaps seeing that our sitches aren't the worst out there will help us to appreciate what we do have.