[Gutted]

I have no next of kin.  No family, no children.   We are not divorced yet but he filed end of June.  I have been delaying making a will because I need to come up with charities (likely animal oriented) to give the money to.   I am also concerned regarding him making decisions for me if I get sick because at this point, I fear he'd be eager to pull the plug prematurely. 

I signed up for a tour of a fitness center and they wanted me to fill out a form with "in case of emergency, contact...." on it and I couldn't write his name down.   I don't think he'd be there for me.

IDK what to do but I don't want him getting any money from my death to benefit his creepy lover.

[StillStanding]

Gutted,

There are options such as "living wills" and "do not resuscitate" orders. There is no reason that, should you be incapacitated and unable to communicate, your wishes cannot be known. I would look into those.

[missybuddha]

Phoenix
"It was recommended to me that next of kin, power of attorney, living will info., etc. be updated and that the name of someone I feel is entirely trustworthy to act in my objective and true best interest (with no associated drama or potential ulterior motive) be designated for the duration of the MLC process to its conclusion.  Frankly, that sounds the wisest and most reasonable decision.  This is not about loving an MLC spouse or indicative of ones commitment to them or to standing. This is about making the best decisions for ourselves and our children in difficult times."
yes this is my view, it feels quite a step of detachment and "reality"  right now but my medic sister said it's awful SHOuld ever there be an issue over the next of kin. It is just for now not permanent.

[LisaLives]

Gutted, my best friend is my POA and executor of my estate.  Frankly I don't even trust my family to do what I want--my crazy mother would keep me on life support in her living room forever!  That was my biggest fear, that something would happen to me in the interim and I'd be a Terry Schiavo...  These things are really important.  It is rare that something would happen, but do you want to take that chance?  Plus, we tend to just put things off and not do them, and now is a good time to get your estate in order. 

It's a new year, time to clean house, legal, financial, emotional, everything!  I have one more thing to take care of before I will be totally and completely independent.  I will never say I feel good about the divorce, but I do feel good that I am standing on my own two feet with the knowledge that if any man ever comes into my life again, be it the ex, or a new man, it will only because it enhances my life, not because I need them, or feel obligated.  I really do feel like I was given the gift of me and I like it!  Love and light and a happy new year! 

[Little Chief]

My H is still my legal next of Kin, but mostly because of the kids and the fact we are still married.  He is my emergency contact, because if something happens to me, the kids will need to have their Dad step in and take care of them.  I'm confident he would.  He's in my will because I couldn't get a notary for my new will which knocked him out and then I forgot about it.  But when I begin my new job, my children will be the beneficiaries on whatever benefits they offer me, not H.  Reconnection is simply that, a connection.  Connections can be dropped.  Until we are truly working on rebuilding, he is not going to benefit from our marital (only) status.  Even then, the foundation will have to be fully set before I reconsider bringing him back into my financial fold, so to speak. 

[turkisheye]

It's a new year, time to clean house, legal, financial, emotional, everything!  I have one more thing to take care of before I will be totally and completely independent.  I will never say I feel good about the divorce, but I do feel good that I am standing on my own two feet with the knowledge that if any man ever comes into my life again, be it the ex, or a new man, it will only because it enhances my life, not because I need them, or feel obligated.  I really do feel like I was given the gift of me and I like it!  Love and light and a happy new year!

What a fantastic attitude Lisa, I applaud you! I hope to follow your example and do some spring cleaning of my own.

[Shantilly Lace]

I am Dearhearts next of Kin and he mine.
If it weren't for the children I may have changed it but if something happens to me he will be in charge of it all anyway.
I will not have my family do this as they can not be trusted.
Everyting goes to the girls in event of my death but then again Dearheart is the same.  I have no mfamily close by anyway.  I know his wishes, the girls do too, and they all know mine.  There may have been stages  where I did't trust him but now he has reconnected to the girls well, he would keep ther interests in hand.
Dearheart unlike others here wanted to keep everyting spearate from ow.  Even at the beginning he refused to go in with loans with her that she kept throwing at him, even buying a house he spat out in a fight that he would own is next house ow wouldn't even get a look in.

So it remains the same.