[faithled]

I have not written for many months, but am finding myself reviewing alot of the information written by Rollercoaster lately, and it is making more sense to me as I experience the stages, and read about them during......it has been almost 3 years since bomb drop 1.  Bomb drop 2 with alienator was  just over 1 year ago.  I see H is in reconnection phase, and because he owns a business, I had to hire a lawyer to get to the stage we are now, and finally dealing with a trained mediator to legally separate our finances.  My Christian Faith has strengthened tremendously, and after reading more info. here again today, I Do Believe there is hope for reconciliation. Thank you Rollercoaster for starting this website.......I found it when you had recently started it, and the information was truly a gift for myself and my teenage boys.  We are still struggling as H still lives with her and it is public and scandalous, but I have taken the road of understanding she is a symptom, and as we go through the legal separation....we have another 2 hour meeting this afternoon, my H is teary, depressed looking......very respectful of my needs and helping with his sons.  So those who are Christian.....prayer today is welcome for our family!  God Bless all those who are on this forum and giving their precious time and energy to help others!

Faithled

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

[TrustingMyHP]

Faithled,

Always encouraging to read about reconnections.  Yours sounds positive.

I will remember you and your family in my prayers!

TMHP

[BonBon]

Well said Faithled.
We are all indebted to RCR....and of course the others who mentor here...

I hope today's meeting brings positive movement for you both....prayers said for you!

Bon

[tinydancer]

Prayers for you and your family.  May your husband truly wake up and realize that his family and his Lord or worth so much more than his selfishness.

(((HUGS)))

[Mitzpah]

Faithled,

Praying that he will be turned from darkness to light...

[limitless]

faithled,

Your comments are quite interesting.....

You are in the midst of separation and separating finances - yet you can see attempts toward reconnection.

I think many of us who are immersed in the separation/divorce pending stage...see this as an "end" - but, in terms of MLC - it is not.  It is merely the MLCer cycling and doing what he/she believes must be done.....as he/she is "finished" with the marriage.  It's part of the process.  Some never have the energy or strength to move towards this step - while, it appears, many do.

At this time, my H is avowing that he is doing me a "favor" by divorcing me.  I deserve so much better.  Yes...just part of the script. 

Keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.  You sound good and strong.

Hugs,

L

[Trustandlove]

Actually, I, too, see so much as symptoms.  I know I've been told that he is rational, that he is trying to do what is right, but his latest spewing e-mail actually told me that no, he is kicking and screaming that he hasn't got his own way. 

I am actually surprised at myself that I can see that he is at a point where he feels he has to do this, where he has to tell the children that there is absolutely no hope, that he's never coming home, and all that.

And on top of that blaming me for not making it easier for him -- saying that I've turned the children against him (never had that one before), saying that if he'd had his way he'd already be divorced (so why isn't he?), and so on. 

For a while it was actually looking like he had made some firm decisions, but now I see that he is still in the thick of it.

It's oddly calming, or maybe just because it made me so angry that I don't hurt any more.  He has so clearly made a financial mess of things, and them blames me for telling them that we don't have a lot of money --says that he gives me more than enough.   And so on and so on.

Can you tell I'm still angry?

[xyzcf]

Praying for you and your family faithled.

God knows everything that is going on..I was asking another LBSer yesterday, why God couldn't make this less painful for us as I was having a difficult day...and He does..by putting other people in our path to listen and support us, by bringing us to this site..by opening His word to me in a way that I have never experienced before.

As HB has always said, as long as we still love our spouses there is hope...well I see that most of us still continue to love and to forgive..that is what Christ has asked of us.....I do not turn away from that request.

Peace to you this day.

[faithled]

  Well, I am home from the 2 hour mediation.  I am numb, but do not feel like calling anyone.....H did not want to get into number crunching until we talk about how things will go with living arrangements with kids, etc.  He had tears throughout session again.  I am too numb to give alot of details...put praise music on driving home, although tears were flowing.  God knows he has to do this.  I know I am being vague, just have alot to process and tired of feeling hurt over and over.
faithled

[In this for ME]

Prayers are with you- post again when you feel you can-
Hugs and Love
Init