[LoveMeMyself]

Crazyjourney,

    I have also "seen" a lot more of what seems to be MLC.......perhaps it's sort of like that new/type of vehicle thing.........ever notice when you get a new vehicle you see them every where as to before you just didn't notice?  Right after BD and the discovery of MLC I found out about 4 other marriages having very similar problems as mine.  Maybe this is an epidemic!

[nesquick2]

i echo what lovemyman says. but also got to mention that i think one of my good friends of 25 years is having a mlc crisis. she has really withdrawn and backed of from me. i dont see her often now. very sad as she was great with me at bd. truly the best. funny enough she txt me this week and said she missed me. i txt back for her to meet up with me and hope she does. also i think someone close to me in my family is def mlc. im seeing this from all angles and got to say its mind boggling but im taking it all in.
hubby at bd was very poorly. this went from a man who never took sick from work. i also pick up from son that dad does lots of exercise and works out.

[Standing in Patience]

I heard from the children that my h is now going to the gym. H NEVER went to the gym before. I think exercising relieves stress and increases the endorphins. To help lift the depression perhaps?

Is it just me? I am stressed out too. I try not to show it to the children, but my hair is falling out. My hairbrush is full of hair each morning. My back aches and there are nights when I have to take a sleep aid. It reminds of the time we learned a neighbor down the street husband left her for another woman. She went from being a vibrant, stylish woman to a gray haired woman in a few years. Now I am wondering if her h was having a mlc too.
Yah, he married the younger woman as soon as the divorce was finalized.

[crazyjourney]

My hairdresser told me to take sea kelp for my hair, tablet form from a health food shop, she said any stress would take it out of my hair, I can recommend it, seems to be good.

On the mlc being catching the people I suspect could have it too are actually people my h had, had closer contact with. One guy he used to have a drink with in our local after work left his wife three month after my h, his wife told me he keeps calling to see her etc. Another went on golf holiday with h just after he left, that guy went home and left his wife two weeks after he returned from the holiday, h said to mil suppose I will get the blame for that. I  have seen both of theses men and their eyes  look dead like my h. The younger one is a relative and he had been screaming out at his mam saying she didnt understand and that she didnt know what it was like but couldnt explain what was wrong with him he is on the sick and on meds but going back to work soon so maybe not relavent I dont know. Oh and the one that went on the holiday with h had been looking out for him and talking to him whilst away as h had just left me and everyone was a bit worried about him also no ow had emerged at that point.

I know this all sounds a bit crazy but lets be honest this whole thing is crazy and at this stage nobody has identified all the ways it happens for sure, it is all speculation. Ha and now I have just put myself forward as living up to my name on here!
Never mind I think any little thing is worth a mention if someday it helps.

I think a lot of them do the gym thing, got a feeling they want to make themselves fitter with younger bodies, somebody forgot to tell them they will still keep getting older even if they are a bit fitter. Mine went gym possesed.

[Glimmer]

For the last two years my H has had constant stomach upsets.  Not to mention migraines and 'man flu'.  He is now apparently intolerant to a lot of his favourite foods I used to cook, and they no longer 'agree with him'.  He has aged a good few years and looks ill most of the time.

He also complains of being constantly tired and just wanting to sleep, yet refuses to have a night off from socialising to do so. 

He will probably keep on running until he collapses.

[newmamacrushed]

I only see H to exchange D2 and we have very little communication, but he looks awful.  For the first 6 months after he left he had a really bad case of seborrheic dermatitis on his face over his nose, cheeks and forehead.  A lot of people mentioned it to me as well.  He thought he was allergic to something he was eating.  He's also had a lot of colds and currently is on antibiotics for "low grade pneumonia".  He got in a very minor fender bender (he was rearended) a few months before he left and he was fine...it barely left a mark on the car.  I started getting all of these bills at the house for a chiropractor.  He mentioned to me once that he is going to have to sue the guy that hit him because his back will be messed up forever now and it affects his work.  He's only 35 so I was really surprised by this.  I know there are bad cases of whiplash but he was in traffic that was almost stopped and the guy barely hit him.  He told me all about it when it happened.  Just weird...

[NewBeginnings]

My H has been sick since he left and that is not an exaggeration.  He either has a cold, sinus infection, chest infection and his latest illness is an ear infection.    He also was diagnosed back in August with COPD.  That was a shocker because he doesn't smoke and it doesn't run in his family.  He no sooner gets over an illness and two weeks later he has something else.  And I also believe he has an infection of his brain, LOL!  There is definitely something wrong there. 

[moc]

but has anyone else noticed other people close to thier h also seeming to be having a mlc I was also starting to think it might be viral (please dont laugh at this) I really am serious. I have noticed four people that husband has contact with showing symtoms three have left home and one who is younger and not married is off work and on anxiety/anti depressant meds.

Par for the course and I agree with many on this thread...stress of what they are doing and the guilt is a major cause.  Prior to and just after BD, wifey would have said she never felt more alive.  Soon thereafter with the running and partying, it started to affect her.  Back and neck issues creeped in along with loss of hair and more loss of eyesight.  She was pretty regular with her periods and soon came pretty dramatically shorter cycles coupled with heavy bouts of diarrhea (sorry to be so descriptive).  She was rarely and only drinking protein shakes (not mentioning the very nutritional alcoholic beverages). 

MLCers get all "weirded out" when the LBS starts dropping the weight.  Albeit that we do it under the stress too, but mostly to get our minds off of the alien.  Exercise is a wonderful way to work out the issues at hand, speak to a higher power, etc.  Under an especially bad time, I enjoyed walking and talking with God and it helped me out immensely.

[honour]

I haven't seen or heard from my MLCer in fourteen months so I have no idea whether she is well or unwell. Vanished.

honour

[Trustandlove]

My H has been ill frequently since BD, which is years now; having said that, at first I was ill some as well -- I know it was the stress allowing me to succumb to whatever was going round.    But I haven't been ill in absolutely ages now, not even a cold. 

H has been ill frequently, and lots of lower-level stuff, such as colds he can't shake, etc.  He has cycled between looking absolutely awful and not bad at all; perhaps to do with how often he goes on holiday. 

He does frequently refer to how much pressure he feels under, and yes, the guilt he feels (or says he has felt). 

Regarding the contact with others; what I've noticed is that my H, rather than influencing others in that direction, is choosing to spend his time with others who are separated/divorced/single and childless rather than with our old friends who have families.   

I think many of these preceeded H's MLC; he's just changed his social circle as far as I can see.