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Author Topic: MLC Monster Does it seem like your MLCer is never physically well?

f
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MLC Monster Does it seem like your MLCer is never physically well?
OP: January 31, 2012, 10:57:02 AM
Hi All,
Sorry if this has been discussed here, but I was wondering if your MLCer never seems healthy?  For the last year or so (BD on 11/05/2011), my MLCer is always complaining of illness.  Headaches, colds, sleep deprivation, sinus infections, etc. 

I haven't seen my MLCer except for a few days since BD, but when we do talk it seems like the frequcency, duration, and symptoms have all increased.  Yesterday he complained of heart palpitations.  On the one hand I want to encourage him to see a doc, on the other I'm trying not to be a fixer.  It's hard.

Either way, does this extreme frequency of illness seem to be a common thread amongst your MLCers?

Thanks,
For_me
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I
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Re: Does it seem like your MLCer is never physically well?
#1: January 31, 2012, 11:07:53 AM
I have the same thing. Thinks he's pulled a shoulder muscle this has been going on for weeks! But won't call the DR.

Headaches, can't sleep from time to time, then sometimes complains he sleeps too much sometimes. Restless leg syndrome. Sometimes he's too hot; then too cold.

I think it's a combination of the depression and a touch of wanting attention.
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Is it ego or spirit that governs us to question the answers; or answer the questions?
B
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Re: Does it seem like your MLCer is never physically well?
#2: January 31, 2012, 11:19:29 AM
Yes, some is physically real as in when he was in replay and working out like a maniac.
Other things are stress related, lack of sleep and so forth.
Other things are just complaints I think...but yes, to answer your question, several years now of this hurts and that hurts and I feel like....

Bon
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"I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me."
Mark Twain
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Re: Does it seem like your MLCer is never physically well?
#3: January 31, 2012, 11:34:22 AM
    FOR- ME,     Oh yeah. My H could've been hypochondriac of the year pre BD. I'm the type where my arm could fall off and I'd keep going. Made it especially more troubling. And my mouth running towards him "Oh stop being such a baby" :o :o ::)  Not good. Depression and selfishness me ,me ,me ,me! ::)
 That, plus replay doesn't lend itself towards 'taking good care' of oneself. Whoring around, not sleeping, drinking, possible drugs, stress.....did I mention STRESS!  :'(
 Mine always got sinus infections.... He would be jealous that I never got sick. Like it was my turn and since I didn't get sick then I got away with something :o :o :o :o Teenagers.  " My back hurts, my hip hurts, my leg cramps hurt....  "    It didn't stop until he ran away and then I guess OW got to listen to that.... ::)
   
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« Last Edit: January 31, 2012, 11:35:59 AM by Mamma Bear »
L
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Re: Does it seem like your MLCer is never physically well?
#4: January 31, 2012, 12:17:05 PM

Mine had a heart attack--it was my fault, he said because of all the stress I had him under making these big decisions, like whether to move to be with OW...  Changing one's life comes at some cost... 
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The best thing about banging your head against the wall for so long is that it feels so good when you finally stop...

BD 1/16/10
D Final 7/21/11
exH married OW the next week and moved across the country to be with her... 

LL CHOSE to live happily ever after...
k
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Re: Does it seem like your MLCer is never physically well?
#5: January 31, 2012, 12:50:26 PM
Yes definitely!
Always unwell, stressed out, gastric upsets, anxiety and panic attacks. 
Seems to be part of the outward manifestation of the crisis.

Stayed said somewhere that her H developed Jowls during his crisis, which have since disappeared.

It's a weird, weird old thing ................
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Re: Does it seem like your MLCer is never physically well?
#6: January 31, 2012, 12:55:40 PM
If I'm not mistaken, it seems to me that I read something in reference to MLC and illnesses (aches/pains).......it's part of the process.  When I think back, my MLC'er hurt his knee the year prior to BD and it took an awful long time to heal.  He complained about a "mystery" pain in his arm as well.   Since BD (past two years) he's had ear infections (tubes put in), stomach issues, headaches and such.  He also suffered from night sweats, restless leg syndrome, etc. prior to BD.  This all seems typical with the MLC'er.
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Re: Does it seem like your MLCer is never physically well?
#7: January 31, 2012, 01:03:41 PM
oh yes! Same here...cant sleep...or sleeps to much, aches and pains everywhere! headaches, migraines, heartburn...He is now taking prilosec OTC..was taking to many TUMS! :)

muscle aches...you name it...and H is a BIG BABY! Hey Mamma, I did the same kinda thing...I would tell him"stop being a baby!" sheesh!
I hated when he would complain like he was going to die if he scraped HIS KNEE! argh! I have a HIGH tolerance for pain...so I got irritated when he complained....:) Now, I just say "oh sorry"

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Me 45
H deceased 11/09/2015
D17
Married 16 yrs Together 25 yrs
BD 09/10
living with OW 12/10
OW moved out 03/11
H moved home 06/11
Affair ended 05/12 again and again and again
H Blocked xOW from contacting Him 10/12
Ended ALL contact with xOW Dec 26th 2012 (So I thought!) I filed for D June 10th 2013
Moved out.

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"Never, ever be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well being of a person is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way."

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Re: Does it seem like your MLCer is never physically well?
#8: January 31, 2012, 01:11:07 PM
Yes all the time is either sick or something hurts. It's funny reading this as how many people there are.
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Bomb drop 8/1/10. She has been out and back twice. Had an affair with a woman she met at work who no longer works there. We have never talked about her MLC. I am waiting for her to want to talk.
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Re: Does it seem like your MLCer is never physically well?
#9: January 31, 2012, 02:02:23 PM
Yes mine too my h had been to the doctors a lot of times for things that only seemed to be in his mind to be honest. First time he left, he had this thing he had to blow into as had been getting breathless, I even thought it might have been the bed he was allergic too as we had just changed the mattress. Mil mentioned not long ago that he had been to doctors after feeling dizzy getting in and out of the car. Other little things too.

Sorry to hijack but has anyone else noticed other people close to thier h also seeming to be having a mlc I was also starting to think it might be viral (please dont laugh at this) I really am serious. I have noticed four people that husband has contact with showing symtoms three have left home and one who is younger and not married is off work and on anxiety/anti depressant meds.
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