[WarriorSprit]

First I want to say I did not know that this site is about only as old as my BD. I have learned so much here. It has been so helpful in how I handle my MLCer. The advise here works for the most part. My MLCer came back in May 2011. She is still in replay or has moved to depression hard to tell for sure since BD is only 18 months ago but I don't see alot of re-play behavior anymore. Thank God. I feel to the most part she loves me and that is why she is back and with the help of this site I will ride the journey the best I can with her as I love her and I know this site and the people here are here to help. But I have become so much stronger in knowing I can move on without her if I need too and this is what seems to be why she is back because she did not want to use me. I think somewhere they know there is something wrong with there thinking but afarid to admit or face there fears. I was somewhat the same way when she made me the LBS but now I am so much stronger. This site is what helped me get to this place in my life so I just wanted to say thanks.

[Thundarr]

T and C,

So happy for you!!  I hope you guys are able to work through the final stages and live happily ever after.  It's so great to hear positive news!!

[WarriorPriestess]

So I had a Star Wars movie marathon this week, and one of the lines totally made me think of this thread lol.  You know that scene where Han Solo is flying into an asteroid field with the Empire fleet hot on his tail?  C3P0 is reciting the extreme odds against surviving, and Solo replies, "Never tell me the odds."  Yep, he made it and survived anyway.  Absolutely PERFECT!   

[WarriorPriestess]

Fyi if anyone is interested, George Lucas based the original SW trilogy on the classic hero's journey that Joseph Campbell details so brilliantly in his work on myth.  Good stuff. 

I recommend reading The Hero With a Thousand Faces by Campbell for anyone interested in the mythological and archetypal elements that confront us all throughout life.  We ALL live the hero's journey in one way or another.  I believe myths developed as a way to guide young people into facing and passing through developmental stages and challenges in a healthy and individuated manner.  Perhaps our loss of the mythic element in society plays some role in the rise of MLC and other psychological and developmental issues. 


Edit to add:
There is also a wonderful six part series called The Power of Myth with Bill Moyers interviewing Joseph Campbell.  Here is a link to Part One on Youtube on "The Hero's Journey"-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhU99yaOcjw

[kikki]

I believe myths developed as a way to guide young people into facing and passing through developmental stages and challenges in a healthy and individuated manner.  Perhaps our loss of the mythic element in society plays some role in the rise of MLC and other psychological and developmental issues.

I think you may be right about this WP

[RivenIN2]

I believe myths developed as a way to guide young people into facing and passing through developmental stages and challenges in a healthy and individuated manner.  Perhaps our loss of the mythic element in society plays some role in the rise of MLC and other psychological and developmental issues. 

I have always believed this to be true. But further we as a group have lost much in our transition to "modern humans" The tradition of the Story Teller was another way that wisdom was passed to each generation. In our head long rush to the future we have left behind so much, but some would say that the written book has replaced the story teller. Not true sure we wrote all the stories down but now there is so much written word that each generation forgets to read those things that might TEACH something. Instead they are addicted to only the entertainment kind of material, if it does not have vampires, guns and explosions they will not read or watch it. LOL

[Rollercoasterider]

I recommend reading The Hero With a Thousand Faces by Campbell for anyone interested in the mythological and archetypal elements that confront us all throughout life. We ALL live the hero's journey in one way or another.  I believe myths developed as a way to guide young people into facing and passing through developmental stages and challenges in a healthy and individuated manner.

I think synchronicity is often at work in our lives. My background as a writer is Traditional Tales—myths, fairytales, folk tales… Campbell, of course, has always been a major part of my studies (the single greatest influence) and it was he that led me to greater studies of Jung…before MLC. I believe that it was my familiarity with The Hero’s Journey that led me to be able to write about MLC as I have. My short article, A Midlife Metaphor in Brief is a reworking of a speech I gave for one of my writing classes a few years before MLC.

My fantasy person from history to meet is Joseph Campbell. But I change the rules a bit and say I want to have my Grandpa there too—Grandpa would love that. I was interested in Traditional Tales when Campbell’s PBS series was running, but it was another year or so before I took Latin and studied classical mythology and a year beyond that before I took my one and only Psychology class where they introduced Campbell in such a way that for years I thought he was a Psychologist. But I fantasize of going back and scheduling to watch the original airing of the series with Grandpa… who was as great and wonderful as Campbell. I also fantasize of being younger and taking a trip with Grandpa to meet Campbell and how they would hit it off!

Perhaps our loss of the mythic element in society plays some role in the rise of MLC and other psychological and developmental issues.

I really want to go back to school for my PhD. I don’t know if it will happen, but I won’t let the dream die and will continue to keep it as a goal. There is a school that integrates Depth (Jungian) Psychology with Mythological Studies that has the structure (distance) I would require and if it didn’t it would still be my first pick!. I am on the mailing list—been on it since before MLC. It has several different programs in Psychology, Mythology and even Marriage & Family Therapy.
Logically Psychology seems to make sense for me to study, but I want my main focus to be Mythological Studies—that was the goal before MLC.
But since MLC I know (for now) that the area in which I want to focus is Rites of Passage and (DUH) the Midlife Passage in particular and of course focusing on midlife and marriage.

[xyzcf]

Thanks WP for this:

You know that scene where Han Solo is flying into an asteroid field with the Empire fleet hot on his tail?  C3P0 is reciting the extreme odds against surviving, and Solo replies, "Never tell me the odds."  Yep, he made it and survived anyway.

My all time favourite movie!!!!!!

RCR...keep that dream alive to get your PhD!!!!!! That would be awesome.

I am fascinated by your discussion on myths....and will add that to my list of things that I want to explore further...seems that list continues to grow and the bucket is overflowing these days as I wait...how I hate that word.

[WarriorPriestess]

That is lovely RCR!  I think of synchronicities as signs that I am on the right path in my life, a sort of divine confirmation.  I got my M.A. in a Consciousness Studies program with cross cultural studies in psychology, mythology, religion, art, dreams, quantum physics, etc.  I am extremely fascinated with the mystical and the mythical, and incorporating and applying knowledge in a holistic manner.  I have thought about going back for my Ph.D. as well, but frankly am tired of writing papers lol!  I still research on my own.  I love to learn.  It sounds like we have similar interests. 

Xyzcf, it is fascinating stuff.  You should definitely check it out. 

[LearningIamOk]

I have been reading this discussion with intense fascination. I was never good at math so perhaps that will give me a leg up to continue to stand. LOL I don't understand odds or statistics at all. As I continue to heal and grow, I am entering a phase of calm and distance from my H. That doesn't mean I don't have the confusion over how to keep behaving to keep the door open. But I think that Phoenix summed it up best that she is riding the current. The fear that is there is more about where the current will take you than actually being in the current.

Would I like my marriage to survive? Absolutely! Would I like it to be better than it was? Without a doubt. But I am slowly coming to the realization that I have no control over whether or not H returns. That is his choice to make. My only choice is whether or not to leave that door open.

The time frame talked about here is scary. 3-7 years of holding a door is exhausting. But the longer I am in this, it is a Gift of Time. I don't have to do anything permanent. I would love to be able to be one of the ones whose H returns. Not just for me, but to give the rest of you hope that it could happen. So for now, I will continue to Stand. Not solely to reconcile, but to just be.

I never thought about the correlation between myths and MLC, but I have always known that those tales taught behaviors and lessons. I think there may be some issue too with how we currently relate to one another. The instant communication afforded through phones, internet and social media are wonderful, but at what cost. People don't know how to relate on a personal level any longer. Maybe that's why a lot of the MLCers are so young now. A lot are in their 30's.

So statistics be damned. Do what is good for you and what you feel in your gut.