[StillStanding]

Coming up on the 3 year anniversary, pretty soon.

I remember the date because it was on my calendar to try to have a "date night".

[wondering]

Sorry....2 days ago. My MLCer and I remained intimate throughout his MLC which is 25 months since BD. I think the longest was a month without being intimate. At first, I didn't know about OW, then after, it was my way of pretending she must not mean that much to him. But it was a chance...he could have given me an STD.  I was very lucky. His physical affair ended over a year ago.  Now frequency depends on whether he is in a cycle towards me or whether he is quiet and a little depressed.

[Wed2Him?Whatever.]

Today actually marks the four-month anniversary since we were together in that way. Think I will keep my comments to myself.

[Mac49]

Last time I tried to initiate was September 09, she crawled in bed with me in Feb 2010 the day she signed the lease on her rental house. That was a weak moment for me, now there is no physical contact at all I maintain a respectable distance at all times.

Mac

[being a lighthouse]

Thank you for asking this question. It makes me feel less .........alone? wierd?
intimacy stopped about a year ago when h moved to the sofa. he then moved to a spare room and out by end of 2011.
h now wants reconciliation. I feel no attractiveness to him. but that could be to do with the barrier and boundaries I have had to put up as part of my journey. part of my detachment and part of my being true to myself, authenticity.

He would now ML i'm sure. he said he felt he wanted to kiss me recently I didn't want to so I didn't.
I am super wary. I bond like glue if I ML , oh my oxytocin kicks in and when h was on trial separation (spring 2011) and we met up and began to ml etc I "let my bits rule my head' and h had a certain amount of cake eating , and tho we ml frequently after he moved back in in late june 2011 that was thrown back at me by cruel cruel monster in Sept 2011.
I have been so hurt by this man I could not (yet? ever?)  ml. so though for the first time since I was 23 I haven't had him as a lover nothing bad has happened to me. nothing has dropped off through lack of use and I feel more respect and "sovereignty" for myself. I will have a lover again, maybe it will be him , maybe someone else but right now I'm in no hurry .

[everhopeful]

Like two weeks ago? After BD we pretty much increased to every day while he was still living in the house, then after he moved out the 1st time we would ML whenever he came over or we had a date (about 3 or 4X a week). Then he moved back in and it went back to pretty much every day. Most recently, he left again and we haven't had much contact. He asked me to dinner tonight and I accepted. I wonder what he's thinking and I'm not sure what I'm thinking about this topic! I guess I feel like it helps our connection so I'll probably go along. If he doesn't initiate, I'll probably feel bad. What might be good is if he initiates and I play hard to get...just like dating! 

[Still]

Can't recall that far back.

[being a lighthouse]

for me I did ml in order to keep the connection. it didn;t work just made me more malliable and open to manioulation because the attachment was reinforced. but not his attachment to me.