[Standing in Patience]

This particular horrific situation reminds me of the NASA pilot... the one that drove hundreds of miies with adult diapers on. Obsessive, driven, and perhaps on a mission (hmmm space and army missions).

Maybe it's someone who has a "give all they can give mentality". No normalcy here. I agree - BPD women in both the NASA and CIA situation. Just because your smart doesn't mind you get a free ride and not have emotional, perhaps deepset "issues".

I believe as the days unfold, we will learn there are other issues that both set of affair partners exhibit.

[OceanLady]

MLCer's do not relate what they have done to other "cheaters" that arise in the news.  I remember my H calling someone else a scum bag on the news one night as we were having dinner before he left home (after his affair started) and he said it with a straight face.  My son and I had all we could do to just stare at him.  He was bewildered by our response and didn't understand what he had just said, no clue at all.

I don't think Petraeus is in MLC.  I think he is a lonely, stressed out, powerful man that spent too much time around this pretty woman.  Another business relationship turned very intimate and emails to boot!   Oh my!!  He told his tale and resigned so that no one could blackmail him.

[Ready2Transform]

I had to giggle, SiP, as sometimes I call OW "Astronaut in Diapers" because of her similar outlook.   I think in both cases it proves where these women may have been extremely driven career and competition-wise, they were on the other side of the pendulum emotionally arrested in development to a ridiculous extent.  A very hard lesson for both in balance, I'm sure.

[Anjae]

I think in both cases it proves where these women may have been extremely driven career and competition-wise, they were on the other side of the pendulum emotionally arrested in development to a ridiculous extent. 

Think this goes for the men as well.

[Ready2Transform]

I think in both cases it proves where these women may have been extremely driven career and competition-wise, they were on the other side of the pendulum emotionally arrested in development to a ridiculous extent. 

Think this goes for the men as well.

Good point!  I need to analyze a bit what I've got going on with my stereotypes on that.

[osb]

Doctors work long hours, and have their concentration so deeply in their work, they present their spouses opportunity. 
....
These women may have been extremely driven career and competition-wise, they were on the other side of the pendulum emotionally arrested in development...

Hmmm, don't think either stereotype holds up too well to scrutiny. However hard each of us may work, or however distracted we may be (whether those distractions happened to be job, children, illness...), I don't think any of us feel we 'presented our spouses opportunity'. Yet they took up their opportunities to stray, all the same. That's not our failing. Or so we wish to believe. 

[Standing in Patience]

And the saga continues. I suspected correctly (as if we don't know how this stuff unfolds) that there was much more than meet the eye.

These women are in too deep. And the men too. The woman had files she shouldn't have, created a charity that was a sham (notice sham is almost like the word - shame), etc.

FBI man also - shirtless pictures sent. What are these folks thinking?

No matter MLC or not MLC, affairs are devastating and have far reaching damage beyond the two individuals involved. OK, in this case, there are at least THREE sets (one woman was involved with Allen and the FBI agent) of relationships played out in front of the national and international audience. I am embarrassed for all of them. I wonder if they feel any guilt/shame?

[limitless]

Interesting comment that I just read on infidelity (on IMDB - to quote a strange source).  It was comment about the film "The Other Woman" - which my D22 is in the middle of watching.....it seems to be sympathetic toward the alienator....which is ticking me off.

Discussion on the film - has the various posters disagreeing about whether or not the alienator (and the cheater) are bad people or not.

Here is the comment:

Reality Check : The long term success rate for affair couples is less than five percent.

So, for almost all affairs yes that does mean a "good relationship" can't come of it...

Affairs are founded on lies, hurt, neglect, and abandonment.. That's not a great recipe for a new relationship to start on now is it?

If you do the proper research on infidelity you will discover it almost never ends well... Experts like Shirley Glass have been collecting data on it for decades and the results are not anything to be proud of for those who choose to pursue infidelity and abandon their spouse.

People who participate in affairs (both the straying spouse and the predatory third party) have a serious problem : selfishness. If they destroy a home and try to start one of their own that selfishness comes back to bite them in the ass. Affairs almost always result in failure.. It's no less destructive than gambling your life savings away at a casino... yes, you make come home a winner, but 95% of people who take what they have worked so hard for and expose that to excessive risk come home broke and miserable.

Flirt with infidelity and you flirt with a dangerous road... engage in infidelity and you rush down that road at top speed.

Endorsing infidelity and spousal abandonment is not in the best interest of anyone.. The best solution was and is to keep your pants on and work out your problems with your partner.

The recipe for marriage has not changed and won't for a very long time to come.   

Thank you, wqf.  Great comment!

limitless

[Gallagher]

Article about Petraues affair.  Interesting, I've never heard these three things mentioned together? 


http://affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/trifecta-petraeus-affair?utm_campaign=newsletter&utm_medium=email_11-25&utm_source=list_MC&utm_content=hfh-registration&utm_term=link_visible

[Anjae]

Really interesting article, Gallagher. Thank you for posting.

"When the trifecta of opportunity, pride and envy come together, in a moment of intense desire we’ll sacrifice that which we value most. No human being can meet all our needs. Love is a process of give, take, and grace. Even if we’re fortunate enough to marry someone with whom we’re compatible, at best they will only meet 80% of our needs. Love will have to suffer through those needs that aren’t met. But when the trifecta is in place, I’ll sacrifice the 80% to get the 20% that’s missing, only to find myself in a much worse position. "

Think this nails it.