[Regardless of the #ofBD, where is the LBS in their timeline?]

Regardless of the #ofBD, where is the LBS in their timeline?

0-12 months

8 (11%)

13-24 months

19 (26%)

25-36 months

18 (24.7%)

37-48 months

21 (28.8%)

49 months or more

7 (9.6%)

Total Members Voted: 73

Voting closed: February 06, 2013, 08:48:35 AM

[misdiz]

Standing for 3 years, 4 months and 23 days. Legally separated for 1 year 1 month.



I am getting tired and would like a comfy chair to sit in instead of all this standing!

LMAO  that's a good one!

[trusting]

I am getting tired and would like a comfy chair to sit in instead of all this standing!

You have a very comfy couch.

[OldPilot]

I am getting tired and would like a comfy chair to sit in instead of all this standing!

You have a very comfy couch.

Yes completely TRUSTING tested!

[TrustingMyHP]

I'm 23 months post BD.

Since H is still living with OW, who moved in with him immediately after BD, he's still in replay.

Definately seeing tunnel movement from him, though.  The euphoria of the earliest months is long gone and he has told me if he could go back 4 years (when the affair with OW began) he would not have done it.  In the same breath, however, he tells me he won't give her up, that she gives him things he has to have, and that she would die without him. 

He says things like, "What am I supposed to do, throw her under the bus?"

We spent several hours together a few days ago and he told me he hadn't realized when he made the decision to leave he'd lose his family.   He told me he expected our D23 to "bond" with him, not with me(!) after he left, and seems genuinely shocked she has distanced herself from him and wants nothing to do with he and OW as a couple.

He emphatically tells me he will never leave OW, that it almost killed him to leave me and that he won't go through that experience of leaving someone again.  He tells me because he can't leave OW, he must divorce me and "end this."  He also emphatically says that "too much damage has been done, you can never forgive me and neither will your family and friends." 

He recently hired an attorney, says he's going to try to get changes made to our settlement agreement signed 20 months ago, and that he will file early next month.  He's sure talking a good game.

Whatever will be, will be.  "No expectations," right? 

TMHP

[Stillpraying]

I wonder, trusting, if he and OW will 'Give each other' what they need after he's sealed the deal.  What exactly does she give him and really, how long would she be able to keep that up?

[Mitzpah]

Standing for 23 months, 27 days...
Sometimes wondering what for. My h. has made it abundantly clear that he is never coming home - deep in replay, I suppose.
This is hard going.
I love my h. and pray for a miracle.
I have forgiven him and OW ( I have to do it on a daily basis,though).
I don't see any 'movement' in the tunnel and rely on faith in God and RCR's articles to reassure me.

I am buried in the trenches of this. It is miserable and uncomfortable, dark and despairing at times.

Wondering how much longer I can survive.

[Standing in Patience]

To whomever, thank you for fixing the columns so it's easier to everyone to VOTE!

[Anjae]

Not standing but husband left 74 months ago (that is BD for me). The we should divorce thing come a bit before but I don't remember exactly when I heard it first.

[B]

I've been standing from the start which was first time Aug 2011 but that was a bit half hearted from him.  What I consider his REAL BD1 was Nov 2011.  False R in Dec 2011 until end July 2012. 

I think there is a part of me that will always be standing for him.  As many horrible, despicable things he's done I think there will always be a part of me that looks at him with love.  It may become miniscule but I just can't imagine not loving him. 

When we got married I told everyone there (via a speech said by a friend) that he was the "best person I know" and it hurts my heart to remember that.  Even though I'm doing ok, that I have had a lot of fun in the last few weeks and H's monstering notwithstanding, I just long to go back to that H, that man.  Yet I fear a D as I don't know if I can stand "officially" after that. 

[ember]

Not standing. BD 39 months ago. I am dating and enjoying my life as a single. I have no idea at what stage he is, no idea of an OW and don't really care. I am financially stable, have my two great kids and I am enjoying life. I divorced him after about a year to protect myself financially.