[Regardless of the #ofBD, where is the LBS in their timeline?]

Regardless of the #ofBD, where is the LBS in their timeline?

0-12 months

8 (11%)

13-24 months

19 (26%)

25-36 months

18 (24.7%)

37-48 months

21 (28.8%)

49 months or more

7 (9.6%)

Total Members Voted: 73

Voting closed: February 06, 2013, 08:48:35 AM

[Standing in Patience]

Another poll: How long have you been standing now?

If you aren't standing, please reply on the number of months you stood before you stopped standing
for your mlcer. You, obviously, can be separated physically, legally separated or divorced and still
standing and can add your thoughts/sentiments/comments. For instance, you can add, Anger stage,
in Replay, etc. if you believe you know.

This will add to the journaling of the progression in terms of time through the tunnel.

[Standing in Patience]

Don't know how it happened, but the poll shows two separate columns. The first column are the first three choices and the
second column has the last two choices...vote away...

[Slow Fade]

Ive been standing for 8 months now. I beleive H is still in replay, but I think his MLC started about 18 months before bomb drop. That's when he found ow, and that's when he started going out to do things by himself; riding his ATV, driving in the woods, staying out late etc.

Not sure where he is right now. Not seeing much replay, he's home early every night, in contact A LOT even though he has moved out. He keeps telling s9 he will be back in the house in the summer. Told his boss our seperation was ok as he was sure we could work things out. Maybe in limbo, maybe standing at the edge of liminality. I see him cycling through anger and depression. Not sure......

[misdiz]

Been standing for 5 months.  I just figured out (thanks to Stayed) that standing isn't just about standing and waiting for him, but standing to figure myself out.  Very good day because of that.

I think he has been in MLC for since maybe 2004.  He did leave me then but came home too soon.  He is definitely still in replay now.  I think he is going to be on the long end of this journey.  I guess time will tell but I will work on me.

[Ready2Transform]

Looking back, I see the 18-24 month lead in starting around 2006 for my H, with 2008/early 2009 being his first real BD (he said at that time, very randomly, "What if we weren't together forever?" and I laughed it off).  But July 2011 was the "I don't feel the same way about you anymore" that got my attention, and I'm about 17 months out from that.  I can't believe it's been that long!  I feel all tough now.

[JD]

BD1 was June 2009.
Figured out though his MLC likely started 5 years earlier as he was showing signs of dissatisfaction with his life then.
I don't know where he is timeline wise.  Frankly I don't really much care.  I live my life without him quite well for the most part and I'm getting used to it being all about the kids and me.
I've essentially stopped standing.  I'm kind to my "husband in name only", we agree on how to handle the kids, he backs my child rearing choices ,  continues to pay certain expenses, and has not made any move forward to divorce me.
I have told him I will not divorce him because if this is what he wants he must complete it, I won't do the heavy lifting for something I never wanted, and that financially it would only impoverish us both.

[being a lighthouse]

coming up for 2 years this Feb. tho h had EA in late 2005 after withdrawing from me h then found a new bf 30 years old went out with her gave her an extravagant present in front of me . I felt like I was dying. but it all blew over. and it all kicked off again by early 2010 with BD in Feb  2011.( and anther EA with mega love bombing of her and  all sorts of other women since then )  (followed by leaving then returning then BD2 in Sept 2011)
boy i've been through the mill.
and I'm standing I think because I sense there are things left unsaid and undone.

[Alwaysthere]

Moved out January 2010, moved back February 2010, discovered OW April 2011, moved out May 2011.  Was a clinging boomerang for a while but now very little contact so I am not sure what strange he is in.  I get reports and glimpses of heavy replay, denial and and a generally angry man.

[xyzcf]

Standing for 3 years, 4 months and 23 days. Legally separated for 1 year 1 month.

I've never been good at figuring out what stage he might be in...as far as I am concerned, he's not home...that's all I need to know

I am getting tired and would like a comfy chair to sit in instead of all this standing!

[StillStanding]

I have been standing for close to three and a half years, since BD.