THanks HB
I understand more than you know. I have some fears right now that came up as I was reading this. I'm scared that I'm also entering a MLT and being shown images and actually at moments feeling kind of foggy. Now.......I have three children and a H in MLC and I can't afford for this to escalate into a crisis. So that fear is coming up during these times. My children need me right now.... I feel confident and strong with my H and crisis recently. However, I am being shown things from childhood mostly. At times confusion is setting in too. I don't really feel tempted but I'm in a role right now that keeps me far away from temptations. SAHM. What can I do to take care of myself during this time? How can I make this as healthy as possible? My children need me too.
Buggy
Buggy,
Remember what turns the transition into a crisis is making dreadful mistakes like running away..the only way out is THROUGH.
Facing the issues head on is the ONLY way to come through, and come out..and this will take TIME, just like all the discussions about MLC, the MLT takes time to come through, too..and you have to be kind to yourself, face everything COMPLETELY, then come through and out.
If you get it ALL in this first round, you will not have to face any of it, again. You'll need to not only look at the actual event(s) one at a time, but examine each one closely for any aspects that bear looking at and settling each one, ALL at one time
You are aware of what's happening, just as I was aware...but I functioned the best that I knew how, even though I suffered through Menopause, AND went into the emotional battle afterward.
I felt the stirrings a year or two BEFORE I went into the transition...I actually was able to "stuff" it down until things were more stable.
Your husband's crisis has triggered your transition; and there's not a whole lot you can do about it, except face it as it happens.
For the hot flashes, I took a natural herb called "Phyto-Estrogen" it came from the GNC store,(it helped with the hot flashes, taking the edge off, but not totally away) and actually did nothing for the depression...I should have, but I drove a truck at that time, just as I do now..and I was unable to take medications and drive.
I did, however, go on Multi-Vitamins; and took those for as long as the transition lasted..funny; post transition, I found I could not take vitamins anymore...they gave me severe headaches.
Get proper rest, eat right, walk, if you can...I was underweight during my transition..didn't eat enough during that time.
Honestly, I don't remember turning my anger on our son at all; I knew, instinctively, that he'd done nothing to me..but my husband was a different story, as I really didn't know him at times, and turned on him much like he'd turned on me.
I would suggest going to the doctor for Anti-depressants if you don't already take them; they will help with any depression and confusion you're experiencing within.
Generally, the confusion IS caused from hormonal changes, even if you're not experiencing hot flashes.
Go to the GNC store and tell them what's happening; they can suggest a natural supplement for you to take that might help.
Above all, pray for strength, and ask the Lord to help you through; I wanted Him with me at all times, and He was there for me.
Any temptations will come later in the transition..they don't come at the beginning....you'll have the feeling of wanting something different, a change, if you will...this will pass when you confront it head on. I was afraid of this, and hid in my sleeper most of the time, sometimes not coming out for days except to drive and do my job..but I know you can't do that with your children depending upon you.
Don't be afraid; you'll be fine, and come through this in one piece; it may take you awhile, because you've got other things on your plate as well...but time is what you have, and what you can use to finish what your husband's crisis started.
It's hard, I know...I've been there, too, and though it took time, I came through, and you will too.
At times, you will want to rant, and you may need to do it here or to someone you can trust with what you would be laying upon them...this will help you to get whatever anger is there out, and help you see things more clearly, as the anger begins to burn out.
During the day, I stayed busy, but at night was when the "movies" started, I saw events from my childhood that were as real as the day I experienced them...I couldn't sleep, and I would "flash" soaking sweat from my head to my feet.
For the first time in years, I was afraid of the dark, I started being afraid of people..this was ME going through...your experience may be quite different.
I HATED my life, myself, and the hate within me was so strong that I could barely keep it in check..and in my depression, I cried going to bed, cried getting up, cried sometimes when I was driving.
I mostly faced things during the night when I couldn't sleep..my mind ran 100 miles an hour, and I prayed to die, I prayed to come through, I prayed because I felt guilt because of my emotional state, and I prayed because no matter what anyone or even the Lord told me, I felt I had FAILED.
I was in bad shape for around a month or so, my depression got so bad, I refused to take a bath..and my husband jumped all over me over the phone, telling me I would get sick, I wasn't taking proper care of myself. And I remember jumping right back at him, telling him to mind his own business..and that just escalated the argument..most of the time, I hung up on him..and he'd call right back....ticking me off worse.
One night, I had thoughts of suicide, thinking things might be better if I just ended it all...but I didn't have anything in my truck to help me with that, LOL..and the Lord literally put me to sleep that night..I didn't remember anything until I got up the next morning, and He told me to get up, go to work, things would be fine..and NOT think thoughts like that again. I'd bottomed out totally and completely.
Everything in my life suffered for a time; I was alone and was dealing with it all, alone..except for the Lord being there with me.
I'd been physically, sexually and emotionally abused in my childhood, plus, emotionally abused during my marriage...I had alot on my plate to deal with..and events from the past marched right on, one right after the other..each one had to be looked at, dealt with, accepted, anyone else involved had to be forgiven, I had to forgive myself if it was MY mistake, and I had to go through healing from each one.
The extent of the transition depends upon the wounds that were suffered during childhood, and some can come from what's happened during adulthood...it's like each one has to be put in its proper place, come to terms with, and put behind you for good.
As each person is different, each transition is different..and the dealing is different for each person.
May God see you through yours, just as He saw me through mine.
I will pray for your strength to increase; as God knows your heart and your need, He will help you, just as He helped me.
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THE TUNNEL