[SpecialK]

I think I know the answer, but does MLC\depression cause low libido?

[Still]

Low labido can be caused by a number of factors. Low testosterone can cause depression and also low labido. Depression itself can cause low labido, as well as anxiety, stress, many other medical conditions. Low labido can also be caused by anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications, as well as hypertension medications.

So, all those things that can be a part of the MLC package can certainly impact labido.

[justasking]

Low libido and impotence can be one reason why the MLC man moves towards crisis. As he ages his libido may reduce anyway due to testosterone. As the man moves to counteract this and starts down the slippery slope of depression it becomes a self fullfilling prophecy. Also impotence has a role to play as well as he looks back to an age when his libido and ability to perform were never challenged.

[faithled]

I have wondered about that because before the bomb drop my H was having Sexual Dysfunction, and he said he was not interested in sex, and that had never been a problem.  Although I told him not to worry, it did not bother me, that I loved him, part of his bomb drop was I can't make you happy.  He even said his doctor told him sexual dysfunction was a symptom of not loving me anymore.  I know now that a doctor would never say that.  Also, my H when I confronted him about 2 mo. ago, said the only affair he would be having is an EA....talking to others about what he is going through.....that we are too different to have a future, etc.
Although an EA is still an affair, I wonder if those with sexual dysfunction ever move beyond that with someone else.

[LettingGo]

Faithled,

My husband began experiencing ED several years ago, at least that's what he thought. In reality, I thought he was great, but he CLAIMS it was because he hid his Viagra prescription from me. I don't know which came first here, the chicken or the egg, because when Viagra was first introduced, EVERY man got some of those little blue pills just to see if it would make them more virile (to put it nicely!).

Anyway, my husband did begin experiencing some ED, although it was more of a problem for him than me as I have experienced my own issues with aging... it ain't fun and I took it in stride. Again, which came first, the Depression or the ED?? Good question... and if you are a man whose very identity as a MAN is wrapped up in his ability to perform like a porn star, wouldn't an affair with a younger, new partner that proves you've "still got it" be tempting?

In my husband's case, he felt so down and depressed and OLD from, well, mid-life that the first affair-down that solicited him got his attention in a big way. He has admitted that "she told me that she was just extremely attracted to me". So, imagine that the "newness" of a partner adds a little lead to your pencil at first, how easy was it to get entangled in the trap of their own making?

I recently posted my Fantasy of the Day: Hide his Cialis prescription so OW can see what sex with a depressed, 46 year old man with ED is really like!!LOL!!

[Wed2Him?Whatever.]

I thought maybe my husband's libido was waning and that was why he was able to get through several weeks in a row of being monster to me without any intimacy.  Then, he came out of the living room one evening (he had been sleeping on our sofa every night) and got into bed with me, out of the blue.  Stupid me, I thought this meant something in the grand scheme of our relationship.  But nope, he apparently just wanted sex.  He did not tell me he loved me (and he always used to say it).  This was before I found the site or knew anything at all about a midlife crisis.  So when nothing in our relationship was different after that I had no idea what to make of him.  I was thinking, "How can you be angry with a person, so much that you can't wait to get away from them, barely talking with them on a daily basis, yet you want sexual intimacy?"  Now that I have learned the MLC info I've learned, it at least makes a little more sense to me (though still so CRAZY)!

[brokenhearted]

Glad to see this topic. My partner has had no interest in a physical relationship for years. Had his testosterone tested and it was non existent. I thought it might be contributing to his depression and lack of interest. His dr was unable to place him on testosterone because of his heart medicine. The last time I saw him when he seemed so content he mentioned that he was on new heart medicine, felt great and was able to be on testosterone. I have to admit I saw none of the deep depression.
I now he has been through incredible sadness and loss and that there were many issues growing up with his father, but is it possible that this new medicine and testosterone lifted his depression and he is no longer in MLC?  He just seems so normal, like he really has just moved on. He is mostly a vanisher but the rare times I have seen him he just seems content with the ow and his new life. I see no confusion or crazy behavior. Could this have ended his MLC?

[NewBeginnings]

My H started have problems about 1 to 1 1/2 years before BD.  It got to the point he never wanted it and I would ask him why and he said he didn't feel like it.  Sometimes I wonder if thats why he got involved with his Affair Down skankho, to see if he still had it or to see if he could.   On BD he said to me, and the sex thing, it ain't there.  Meaning he wasn't attracted to me.  When I saw pictures of OW who is ALOT heavier than me and trailer trash I thought to myself, what the h***!  I thought he was a sick man.  I know things were hot and heavy for months between them which is probably why he thought I was the problem.  I know I wasn't.   He looked like h*** last fall on Saturdays when he was home.  I even remember saying that to him.  I blew it off as stress.  Now I can only imagine, he and skank were up all night partying and well you know the rest.  It makes me sick.  Then since I told him I knew of his secret life in May, things seemed to have changed for him.  Now he says it has nothing to do with the sex, she is a friend.    I said, friends or roommates do not sleep in the same bed.   I bet all his old issues with ED have come back because he has been with her a little over a year now so I'm sure the infatuation thing is gone. 

[Anjae]

Yes, depression/MLC can cause low libido, so can most AD.

There was nothing wrong with my husband on that department when he left, but he was depressed. Now I've no ideia if it is affecting his libido or not.

[WarriorPriestess]

My H started losing interest in sex a couple years before BD.  He was also exhibiting signs of overt depression at the time, and admitting to being depressed.  There has been nothing sexual at all between us since a month before BD in 2010.  Boo.  I miss sex.