[Anjae]

This MLC is such an endless loop - but what we were talking about was the loss of loving feelings etc (meds or the depression itself).

The loss of feeling could be either the depression, the meds of both (if a MLCer/depressed person has taken meds). But what is weird in MLC is that a MLCer does not become flat and down like in normal depression.

Their feeling are, in fact, all over the place. Exaggerated, crazy, overwhelming. They just seem to disappears in regard to what used to be dear to the MLCer before crisis. They are over feeling about OW, their new life, new hobbies.

Think Mr J may also have thyroid problems. Both MIL and SIL suffered from hyperthyroidism and they wanted him to be tested when he start to say he was depressed, months before he left. He refused.

[kikki]

One of the first things I googled re my MLCer's weird behaviours, was thyroid difficulties.  He actually agreed to have a blood test just after BD, and was within the normal range.

Their feeling are, in fact, all over the place. Exaggerated, crazy, overwhelming. They just seem to disappears in regard to what used to be dear to the MLCer before crisis. They are over feeling about OW, their new life, new hobbies.

Completely bizarre isn't it.  It's as though it's a very very very long bipolar manic episode.  Maybe the same regions of the brain go haywire due to the hormonal changes, as they do in someone who is bipolar?

[Dagolark]

I have no idea how hormones fluctuate in the human body, but do you reckon it might have something to do with the 'cycles' that MLCers have? I was reading on a thread tonight about one MLCer cycling like clockwork every two months and it made me think that there are indeed other hormonal 'cycles', like the ones connected to ovulation, so maybe it's not too far-fetched... I wish I knew more about this stuff...

[kikki]

I have no idea how hormones fluctuate in the human body, but do you reckon it might have something to do with the 'cycles' that MLCers have? I was reading on a thread tonight about one MLCer cycling like clockwork every two months and it made me think that there are indeed other hormonal 'cycles', like the ones connected to ovulation, so maybe it's not too far-fetched... I wish I knew more about this stuff...

Yes, absolutely.  Jed Diamond is someone who knows a great deal about male hormones.  For whatever reason, the research done in the 1940's (I think it was) was not well publicised, and is only just coming to light now. 
Men definitely do cycle - each day, each month, each season. 
He recommends that men chart their own mood - they never sync with other men (as women sync with other women), nor do they cycle with the moon, but they have their own unique timeframe. 

My MLCer is one who has tended to cycle in three monthly timeframes.

[Anjae]

Completely bizarre isn't it.  It's as though it's a very very very long bipolar manic episode.  Maybe the same regions of the brain go haywire due to the hormonal changes, as they do in someone who is bipolar?

It is bizarre but I always thought that MLC (at least the high energy version) is similar to bipolar, not to depression. Bipolar has the depression and the manic side, just like our MLCers.

Do the same regions of the brain go haywire as they do to someone who is bipolar? Who knows? We have no scans of MLCers brains. Real bipolar people, to my knowledge, are not bipolar because of hormonal changes, but our MLCers hormonal changes (and we always need to remember that cortisol, that rises stress is an hormone and that high levels of stress interfere with testosterone) may mimic bipolar.

Any creature who has hormones, and brain chemicals, will cycle. Some cycle more than others. And when levels are out of balance the cycles can be extreme. If you add to it the fact that our MLCers may have compromised their brain electric circuit as well as become addicted to a number of things, it really looks like a very turbulent and ugly picture.

[Tsunami]

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/12/the-real-roots-of-midlife-crisis/382235/?google_editors_picks=true

[OldPilot]

Pretty good article.

I think I will post it on our face book page of the hero's spouse and get any reaction their too.

Thanks for the link!

[Still Kicking]

I thought it dealt more with mid-life transition and seemed to not have an awareness of the devastation caused to the spouse and family--saying merely that they were "aghast."  But on the other hand the descriptions of the feelings of an MLCer were inciteful and accurate.   Also the fact that mid-life dissatisfaction is even found in apes gives one hope that recognizing this is getting more scientific legitimacy. 

It was also interesting that telling others this was normal was a source of relief to them.  Maybe the fact that this tends to be buried allows it to grow to crisis proportions in some.  Then again there is the complication of the FOO issues....

[Anjae]

Interesting article. But this is not true:

"Long ago, when I was 30 and he was 66, the late Donald Richie, the greatest writer I have known, told me: “Midlife crisis begins sometime in your 40s, when you look at your life and think, Is this all? And it ends about 10 years later, when you look at your life again and think, Actually, this is pretty good.”

MLC does not begin sometime in your 40's and ends 10 years later [in your 50's]. Some of us have MLCer whose crisis begin in their 30's and other whose crisis begin in their 50's or 60's.

So, for those whose crisis begin in their 50's and 60's happiness did not increase  since their 40's.

"Why the common dissatisfaction in middle age?"... Lets see, because one has either achieved all there is to achieve; because one is dealing with aging parents, teenage children, a spouse in MLC; because one is overwhelmed with lots of obligations and responsibilities and one no longer has the energy of the 20's or 30's.

Agree with Still Kicking, it seems to be more about midlife transition than midlife crisis. In fact most articles (blogs, etc) that use midlife crisis are often about midlife transition.

The midlife crisis we deal with here seems to be an intirely different beast.

[living with Hope]

I agree, I thought the title should have been more inline with a transition not a crisis.

But I did think it hit some very intereting points about how it all begins.  I do think that all of our loved ones did not set out to have a crisis.  I think it is the disquiet and it starts off as a transition.  Just like in our teenage years, we all went thru it, just some had it worse than others.  I think Mid life is the same.  Different variables set it up to either be just a transition or a full blown crisis.