[UKStander]

H: This is difficult for me, too, you know.
(After some tears).  Oh it's all about you, isn't it!!! 
You're so self-absorbed.
You never listen.   

When I was literally on knees, after being asked to 'hang in there' and then dropped from the radar for several weeks, until I confronted him again:  At least now you know what it feels like to be rejected.

You haven't paid any attention to me for years.

Of OW
She's a very special person.
Don't blame it on the OW.
It's not about the OW.
You'd hate her.   (No, really?)
There are things about her I don't like (tries to back-track a little at this point.)

Wait for it......
She flirts.   (You are kidding, right? The schmoosie goes after other men?      Who knew?)

But then again folks....
She's a free spirit.

And you all know there's nothing like a free spirit when your expenditure is mounting, your offspring hardly knows you, your stomach is expanding and you're, well, frankly, a little bit lost. 

UK -S
 

[Thundarr]

Now we can just get divorced without a lawyer - we can do it all online and I'm happy to be amicable.

Almost word for word (he didn't suggest online probably because it would mean effort on his part)!  The whole "it's only amicable if you don't have a lawyer and just let me walk away with no responsibility" thing would be funny if it weren't so infuriating.

Oh, and if I say anything that makes any sense, even if it's totally unrelated, he will yell, "But I'm not trying to hurt you!".

Damn, this is incredible.  My XW said this word-for-word.  She said that she would pay the attorney and that all I had to do was go to his office and initial where he told me to.  Really?  I'm to trust a guy on your payroll with my and my kids financial security?  Uh, yeah, about that.....
WOW, mine, too!

Just the word, "Amicable." Most overused MLC word, early on, when they are all infatuated.

"We can keep this amicable. We don't need lawyers. We can go through mediation. It will save a lot of money."

See? Easy! I've got it alllllllllll figured out! And we'll all be friends, and you two women can dote on me! Awesome!

yep, me too!

[iamnottheenemy]

UK Stander, you reminded me of another one that irks the h*ll out of me, said to D repeatedly:

No matter what's going on between me and your mother, I'll always ... (be your Dad, love you, etc.)

To which I always think - there's nothing going on between him and me; it's what's going on in his head and between him and OW that's the problem!

[Poppy]

A few more bloopers from my H .....

Its not you its me.....

I couldn't make you happy....

Don't worry....you will find someone else.....

OW is from school......(oh that makes the affair alright then....tut)

I would be very sad to loose you as a friend....

Its for the best.....

We may get back together when its all sorted out....(he means when Ive sold my home and cleared his debt)

I've told Ow I will never fall out with you....
 
Ow doesn't hate you.....(Im amused by this one... )

Ow....doesn't have much...(so she couldn't lend him any money....so he asked ME  to lend him some...hahaha)

You have been a wonderful wife.....but its not enough

The boys will understand.......

Its time to start living....rather than just existing....

To the boys.....I have never cheated on your mother in all our marriage....(er we are still married!!!)

You are going through the menopause....i can't help you

You are a nice person...

I don't like you as a person...

i don't like your cooking anymore....

Your long hair annoys me.....it falls out when you brush it   (hes just jealous...cos hes BALD)

You fidget in bed   (This is true...i have no defense...guilty as charged )


I luv this thread 

[crazyjourney]

This thread is so funny.

Early on my h said he hoped I would meet someone too and we could all get along and go out together.

I didnt know about mlc at that point and I was just so flabbergasted.

I also got the its not you its me, even refered to me being the normal one, he was right on that one lol.

x

[alwayshope]

This thread is so funny.

Early on my h said he hoped I would meet someone too and we could all get along and go out together.

I didnt know about mlc at that point and I was just so flabbergasted.

I also got the its not you its me, even refered to me being the normal one, he was right on that one lol.

x

What I picture in my head is hiring an escort, and actually going out on a double date.  I want this to be part of a movie one day... I see your H (or anybody's) just freaking out!

[Reinventing]

You haven't sent me cards in years.

I was so angry; it was necessary to leave. Now the anger is gone. I remember it, but I don't feel it now.

[With Gods Help!]

Always hope my h did freak out one night not too long a go this man said to my h he fancied me but i was having none of it because he was too young ......my h asked who he was talking about the guy pointed to me............my h looked  and said THATS MY WIFE!!!!
OM looked at me and then looked at h and said NO WAY lol!!!!.........h said yes she is so you better leave her alone..........o/m followed me all over until h threatened to knock his head off  ..........poor man was so upset he said to h i finally find someone whom I'm attracted to and she happens to be married..........this was not long before  h said he knew i would meet someone and although he would be upset because he couldn't image me texting another man other but he would have to accept it lol............. these MLCers I'm convinced have come from another planet and are finally exhibiting their true identity ALIENS  ;Dxxxxxxxxxxx

[fidelle]

-there's a reason we (!!!) separated
-I still love you but not in the way you want me too (he's never answered when I've asked him how exactly that is)
- I tried my best
-I just want to reclaim my life and Stay Alive (now literally tatooed on )
-It's important for me and I have to do this (I believe this one, and I wouldn't want him as he is now, but I miss the H I married every day..sigh!!)
-It's just between us...why do you bring the kids into it?
-but we can still have other relationships... (after having told me that his pschologist told him that a long-term relationship never ends with separation and we can still be friends)
-I'm telling you because I respect you...(about OW#2, in an email after having started the relationship before he left when he had the chance to tell me face to face)
-you snore
-you have never accepted your part in the break-up...I've had to carry this burden
-I had difficulty separating my admiration for your affection (!) for me from my fear of abandonment but now I know they are different. I can't come back...too guilty, I'd lose all self respect.


I could go on and on,and at only 2.5 years post BD, I suspect there's a lot more to come.

Thank God for this site. It's so good to laugh xxx

[Thundarr]

This thread is so funny.

Early on my h said he hoped I would meet someone too and we could all get along and go out together.

I didnt know about mlc at that point and I was just so flabbergasted.

I also got the its not you its me, even refered to me being the normal one, he was right on that one lol.

x

My XW told me that we would both meet other people and "be one big happy family."  She said that surely I had seen how other families all get along and get together on holidays and stuff.  Uh, no, not one that I can think of.  In her own family the only example even close would be her brother and ex-SIL who used to drop off her nephew on holidays and come in and say hi.  But, whenever she would even come in for a minute XW's brother and his new W would bolt out the door and back home as they refused to be in the same house as her.  They even walked out of our wedding before it started when she showed up.  We were both upset at them for years after that but it's long over now.

Hmmm, maybe I will meet someone and we can build a house next to XW and lawyer boy (or whatever OM she ends up with) and we can have cookouts together.........