[Slow Fade]

I don't remember if I posted this already or not, (menopausal brain!)

H - We've tried and tried to work things out and nothing ever changes.
Me -    Uh, just when did we have these discussions and was I conscious???

H- I will never regret having S10. (oh but you regret everything else about the last 14 years??)

H - I just want you to know that I'm really enjoying the silence in my house. ( I guess the voices in his head were getting too loud!)

H- Its easy for me to keep my house clean. (uh, lets see. We have three people living in my house and you only have you. I guess he expects a medal for cleaning up after only himself?)

[Musica]

And another one ...

No you can't give me that for my birthday because I don't deserve it  ... (this was when H was 50 I got him a great present, which he would have loved, but after that comment, I cancelled it ... and he was right, he didn't deserve it I discovered later.)

New Years Eve,   H says, I'd like to be somewhere with some friends now ... (he was home with me and Ds) We told him to go then ... he managed to stay till 11pm then went to his Mums! Maybe she's his best friend!

Unbelievable ... its all coming back to me now ... he says I should find someone else, because I have a great body, and it shouldn't go to waste! Was I supposed to say thanks for that one?

I never made you any promises Musica ... 22 years is a long time, don't you want to find someone different now too? ( he thinks getting married didn't involve promises)

My uncle had 2 families and it worked out fine. ( he never saw his uncle, and I know it wasn't fine at all)

Can't I just have a year off? I need some space, some freedom, a year off would be good ... (that was in 2009.)

I know I'm responsible for my actions, but you are the cause?  You make me do things, you make me angry, and I do things I regret. I know I'm responsible, but its your fault!   

You gotta laugh!

[Thundarr]

I don't remember if I posted this already or not, (menopausal brain!)

H - We've tried and tried to work things out and nothing ever changes.
Me -    Uh, just when did we have these discussions and was I conscious???

H- I will never regret having S10. (oh but you regret everything else about the last 14 years??)

H - I just want you to know that I'm really enjoying the silence in my house. ( I guess the voices in his head were getting too loud!)

H- Its easy for me to keep my house clean. (uh, lets see. We have three people living in my house and you only have you. I guess he expects a medal for cleaning up after only himself?)

"I've been working on this marriage for two years and I can't go on any longer."  Really?  Where was I?

"I've been planning this for two years (yes, it contradicts the first) and now I'm executing my master plan"  which must have been to stay at home for 6 weeks, then move to her parents and eventually to the house her dad owned that still wasn't ready when she moved in.  All this while being completely broke due to paying her dad rent before she moved in and paying the down payment on the car she paid at least 50% too much for.  I'm kind of glad I didn't rely on her to make any plans of mine......

[kikki]

Last week -

Me:  Just a question.  When you said your marriage vows all of those years ago, did you take them seriously?

H:  Why on earth would I have done that, we're not our parents!!!

[Slow Fade]

Wow Kikki! Do they think they can just call "olly, olly all in free" and make the marriage go away??
You can't make this stuff up!

[Still Kicking]

He wanted me to feel sorry for what he was going through having to party with the OW--"It doesn't feel right going out without you."

Then why are you going out with another woman instead of me?

"I'm the designated driver."



"For a year and a half you never did this.  I wanted you to quit doing that."

Then why didn't you say something? 
 
"I was testing you."

[Reinventing]

Still Kicking, that is amazing. When I look back, I feel I was being tested (gaslighted) as well! Wow! Nothing like a fantasy side relationship to let you "test" someone else!

[Duthla]

H: I've been unhappy for the last 5 years.
Me: Why did you marry me two years ago?
H: I didn't want to hurt your feelings.

H: I'm happier now that I've lost all the things I've worked for.
Me: No you're not. Your just buying new things.
H: No. The new things are all downgrades from what I had.

H: (regarding choking me and tossing me around the kitchen like a rag doll) I'm sorry that happened but it was just all that pent up anger and rage from the last 5 years.
      I was drunk and can barely remember what happened. How do I not know that you attacked me first?
       We talked to S. I said I was sorry that he saw that. It's over now.

H: Nothing is going on between us. The boys (s and OW s) like to play together.
(One week later) H: Thingd have changed. I know and feel a connection between us.

H: You've never supported me.

H: We've become roommates.

H: We both had trust issues.

H: I hope you get a boyfriend soon so you can be happy and be ok with me and OW.

H: Mark my words, in a couple of years from now, you and your b/f and me and OW will all be standing in the kitchen drinking glasses of wine.

[LaughLoveLive]

I too felt like I had been tested...a workplace performance appraisal if you like and, oh dear, I failed ... Even though I never knew the criteria had changed!

But here's a few more I remembered

I've just been going through the motions
I just can't go back to that relationship
I don't know what the future holds and that frightens

[Mamma Bear]

   He said once about 1 year post BD "It was a dark, dark place I left when I ran away from you and I am NEVER going back there." 
   Today he's texting "My phone is fixed did I tell you..? You should start texting me again!"