[CrazyStupidLove]

Wow. I had mine written down:


I don't know what I want.
I need both of you in my life.
I am so effed up.
I am emotionally exhausted.
I do love you.
I'm afraid of you.
I don't have a problem being around you.
I will always love you.
You will always have a place in my heart.
We don't have anything in common anyway.
I don't like you.
There are things about you that I despise.
I resent you.
I'm jealous of you.
You think my coming around is just to see the kids, when it really has alot to do with you too.
I really am the happiest when I am with all of you (my family).
I'm a failure.
You have a family (with tears rolling down his face).
You know how I get when you corner me.
No, I don't love her.
I don't know what love is.
I don't believe in Love or Relationships, it's a bunch of bullsh*t!
At times I think I have been on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
It was a small setback (when busted at the airport with OW)
I sincerely can't see myself without you in my life and continue to cry.
I've opened the door to the scariest nightmare I can imagine, not having MY family!
Don't be mad at me
It really isn't about the sex (with OW)
I really only crave the interaction and perfectly happy with just texts or phone conversation with her.
She's just a friend.
She boosts my self esteem.
She really is the only friend I have.
I just want to take my dog and run away up into the mountains.
I thought I was doing better.
I really want you all to be happy.
It's about a feeling I get when I am around you.
Your flowers cost more than hers.
No, I don't remember if hers were red roses or not. (they were).
All I have been trying to do is be nice and generous.
Everyone is mad at me!
All I'm getting is abuse (talking about emails sent to him from his family--myself and his daughters regarding the affair)
When I eff up the way I have, I honestly get physically sick.
The hair stands up on the back of my neck when I see everyone on Facebook encourage you to go out and hook-up.
I effing hate Facebook.
This is not about what you do though.
Me coming up with bulls**t to justify my actions is ridiculous!
Maybe it's easier to start a new relationship with someone than it is to repair the old one.
She doesn't like when I'm around you.
I told her that you are the kids mother so of course you were going to be there.
I know I haven't been there for you like I should have been in the past.
I have been a terrible person
I don't know that I am in love with her.
I won't have a miserable time (in Costa Rica) but I will be thinking about you guys the entire time!
I think I get enjoyment out of her company.
I really do connect with her on an intellectual level.
Families require love.
I think you are an incredible person.
Believe me, I have been doing lots of soul searching.
Telling someone you love them after sex, is a p*ss poor barometer of true feelings. It's an intimate setting and sh*t gets said, but it can be meaningless.
I certainly didn't want to bring everyone down.
I feel like I'm in limbo
It's none of your business.
It's not about you or her, it's about me.
This is 100% my fault..
The love I feel for her is different than the love I have for you.
I would be sad if you were out of my life completely.
Are you really willing to put up with my unfaithfulness because I don't think I could ever be faithful to you..
I am depressed but I don't want to seek help, it's what keeps driving me to get myself out of debt.
Once my financial situation is fixed, I will work on my personal life.
I do love you, I just don't love the relationship we had.

[toughtimes]

H monstered, almost weekly:

Give me MY car, you've stolen MY car.

It was OUR family car bought with OUR savings.

[LaughLoveLive]

My H monsters about, of all things, the exercise bike!
Keeps asking me for it but never comes to pick it up.


Some others:
Kids are resilient, they'll be fine
I don't believe in staying together just for the kids (what about staying together for us, those marriage vows and 25 good years together?)

This one floored me:
Between BD and leaving, as we were discussing D11 and a visiting schedule he said "well it's not really about what I want is it? It's about what's best for the kids"
I replied "well it's not really is it, otherwise you wouldn't be leaving"
No response from H

[living with Hope]

I don't need love. I am a rock.

You have ruined my relationship with my children.  - You are always around when I come to visit.  (Uh...I live with them...funny you haven't taken all 3 once by yourself in the 16 months you have gone.  They don't know where you live. You blame me?  )

I knew I made the biggest mistake when you walked down the aisle. You were the ugliest bride.  But like a good man, I soldiered on.  You soldered on for 20 years, 3 children, 2 dogs, moves across the country...  Then when I was totally upset and reminded him of the way he kissed me when they pronounced us man and wife and what he said to me when I reached him in front of the JP, he looked incredulous and said "You are shocked but this?  This should not be a surprise to you."

When asked one day in counselling (during a moment of him wanting to repair the damage) why he was so out to destroy me - he looked at me with shock and said that was never his intent, he was just trying to save himself from me and the kids.  He was going to die if he stayed.  He was in no way trying to destroy but save. 

When he bought the 4 seater BMW - my eldest son asked him how a family of 5 was going to fit.  I cringed as I thought this is where he draws the line and says your Mom won't be coming.  But no, he replied, your sister doesn't need to come. 

[Mamma Bear]

  CSL This is hysterical
  "Your flowers cost more than hers "
  Sums up MLC perfectly!
  Even a teenager would have trouble saying this.

[Thundarr]

I've heard almost the exacts of 90% of what CSL, 3L and LWH wrote.  Except XW DID tell the kids that I wouldn't be riding with them much - the day after my graduation and 2 days before "I'm divorcing your ass."

[NoRegrets]

They don't know where you live.

I think this is part of the script, as well. My kids don't know where xH lives, except the general vicinity. They are not interested in being on OW's turf.

My best friend, who is going through a divorce from a serial cheater/narcissist/abandoner, also has teen sons who do not know where their father lives.

These folks bail because they don't want to be parents--that's not who they identify themselves as.

When he bought the 4 seater BMW - my eldest son asked him how a family of 5 was going to fit.  I cringed as I thought this is where he draws the line and says your Mom won't be coming.  But no, he replied, your sister doesn't need to
come.

Right after BD, when xH was in a deep fog and on an infatuation high--wearing those shark eyes, and acting stunned, he pointed to a two-seater and said he was interested in that model. I asked him, "You're so afraid of dying alone--why would you buy a car that your children can't rid in?"

"Oh...that's a good point...." he replied.

He did buy a five-seater. And a boat, and God knows what else he bought, but he sure racked up bills--all so strange for a guy who'd always been fairly frugal. (Also script.)

[Mamma Bear]

   Mine traded in a perfectly good Hyndaii 2004 all paid off for a 2005 Jetta wagon that he has to pay $150 a month for 5 years.
   Cleaned out his 401k and changed the beneficiary to OW. lol $0 balance 401k beneficiary.   
   Sounds pretty script!

[living with Hope]

No Regrets - It is very interesting what I originally perceived as so bizarre and unreal behaviour by my spouse is actual quite common in MLC land.  I know my husband would be so devastated to know he was following a script and not his own person. lol

I chuckled as I read your comment about dying alone.  That does give me the "aha - they do listen to what we have to say" even if it is twisted logic that you were throwing his way. 

Mama Bear - I guess it is the thought that counts in this case...bahahaha

[With Gods Help!]

Mamma he knows the ending of the script too............he left her zero/nothing because he knows thats what shes worth.......NOTHING.............NADA..... NOUT.............. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx