Skip to main content

Author Topic: MLC Monster MLC and the Medical Community

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 16546
  • Gender: Female
MLC Monster Re: MLC and the Medical Community
#10: May 30, 2013, 09:38:24 PM
many men don't know they have hormone fluctuations. Or, at least, they don't relate them with was is happening. Me and Mr J knew man testosterone decreases but we did not knew it could be the cause of what was going on with him.

H knew he was depressed, he himself said it many times. Yet, refused to accept help and end up running from the doctor of the company he worked for at the time.

The age would have to be a very early one. Mr J was 36, about to be 37, when he left. But we know the changes begin way before they leave. There are LBS here with husband's younger that Mr J was at the time.

Also, I think testosterone/estrogen are not the only cause. Cortisol (stress) plays a big role as well. Cortisol is also an hormone and, when out of control, it provokes tremendous damages, including personality changes.

So maybe like with heart attack, where your job and lifestyle are a better indicator if one will have one than obesity, the same could be applied to MLC? Your cortisol (stress) levels and lifestyle could be a better indicator than low testosterone/estrogen?

Or all those levels need to be checked regularly. The out of balance hormones affect the neurotransmitters, causing brainchemical changes.

Ok, we more or less figured out what causes the crisis. Now, how do we prevent it (knowing that MLCer even when they know something is very wrong with them tend to keep running) and how do we stop it for the ones already in the middle of one? Shall we abduct them and give them a shot of whatever they are in need of?...

I really don't want to wait more 10 years for the prevention/cure...


  • Logged
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 16546
  • Gender: Female
Re: MLC and the Medical Community
#11: May 30, 2013, 09:44:14 PM
Please add neurology to the LBS honorary degrees, Bailmor.

Trusting, I think the childhood issues only become a factor of relevance because the hormones and brain chemicals are messed up. With the hormones and brain chemicals out of balance childhood, or other issues, that are relevant but would not otherwise be a problem, become unmanageable.

For it it is not the childhood or possible lack of development that cause the hormonal and brain chemical imbalances but more the other way round. The imbalances bring forward the former.

Without imbalanced hormones and brain chemicals there is no MLC. Whatever issues the MLCer had were there and were not a problem, they only become so when things get messed up on a hormonal and brain chemical level.
  • Logged
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

D
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2987
  • Gender: Male
Re: MLC and the Medical Community
#12: May 30, 2013, 10:02:15 PM
For it it is not the childhood or possible lack of development that cause the hormonal and brain chemical imbalances but more the other way round. The imbalances bring forward the former.

Just a thought, or perhaps a question.......there are many people that are in treatment for hormonal imbalances......but they weren't necessarily experiencing childhood, emotional or developmental issues.
  • Logged
« Last Edit: May 30, 2013, 10:11:04 PM by Dontgiveup »

k
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 6918
  • Gender: Female
Re: MLC and the Medical Community
#13: May 31, 2013, 02:27:05 AM
Thanks so much for sharing that Thundarr.  Looking forward to more updates.  As you know, a few of us (females  :) ) on the forum have also been doing our own research into all of this too. 
Fantastic to hear that the medical profession is beginning to recognise it.

There have been recent major hormonal studies coming out of the likes of Harvard.  This information will have to trickle out over the next few years.
For instance, it was shown that extreme stress triggers a massive drop in testosterone in men, instead of the natural decline - answers why a major event such as the death of a parent could be the catalyst for MLC.
(The testosterone drop alters the body's biochemistry and leads to depression).

Coupled with the neurological research that will be happening in the next few years - fingers crossed, this might be a recognised disorder before too long. 
  • Logged
« Last Edit: May 31, 2013, 03:58:43 AM by kikki »

c
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 958
  • Gender: Female
Re: MLC and the Medical Community
#14: May 31, 2013, 03:17:36 AM
Thank you so much for this information.

One of my biggest fears is that because my h left the first time when my sons were most likely still going through adolescence that they themselves might go on to have an mlc. I am terrified they have missed a piece of development with the shock of it at the time.

They are early 20s and if this can just get recognised before I would be truly gratefull, so any glimpse that, that may be happening is assuring.

x
  • Logged

S
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1959
  • Gender: Female
Re: MLC and the Medical Community
#15: May 31, 2013, 04:02:56 AM
Quote
Could it be that treatment may be effective in the early stages???

I think part of the problem is that we don't realize something is very wrong with them until they are deep in crisis.  Once the crisis gets going, the only way through it is to just go through it.  I don't know that there is any way to prevent it.

I knew something was wrong nearly 2 years before BD.  He did appear depressed and of course I thought I could fix that by making him happy.  Giving him what he wanted.  We moved home and I prayed for a daughter!  he even thought he could fix it by quitting things he was part of and moving on to new things.  Now, I know some changes are good and keep you out of boredom but it simply didn't make him happy.

He had mentioned he had depression before we were married so I assumed he would go seek help if he felt that way again.  Seemed like to me he knew what to do.  But I left him to it and nothing happened until he 'dropped the bomb'.  By that time it was all 'my fault' and of course marriage counselling appeared to work on the surface.  We addressed the complaints he had about me but after all that he still left.  And you know all the rest.  Script.
  • Logged
« Last Edit: May 31, 2013, 04:10:54 AM by Stillpraying »
BD 18th Oct 2009
exH Left home 9th April 2011
Split with OW3 (fiance) Jan 2016. (no break between OWs).

I
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1188
  • Gender: Female
Re: MLC and the Medical Community
#16: May 31, 2013, 05:00:52 AM
A good discussion that hormones could well be the main problem.

But i do think that behaviour, moral, foo issues are another factor and these need to be addressed as well.

I think with common knowledge about symptoms and signs of mlc, then there can be mire 'aware' triggers and then further help can be sought then. Triggers of behaviour before the main catastrophe would possibly make it easier for the mlc er to deal with before the guilt and shame come from all their immoral behaviours. X
  • Logged

S
  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 6490
  • Gender: Female
  • Strength and honour are her clothing;
Re: MLC and the Medical Community
#17: May 31, 2013, 05:04:31 AM
It just makes sense that there is this chemical imbalance in their brains.
My S is having psychosis counselling at the mo and the psychiatrist said that life transitions are every 7-10 years and part of the brain has to adjust by re working its cogs like a clock. He then said that if the right chemicals aren't there or imbalanced then the brain adjusts inaccurately. Trauma or illness contributes to the faulty re-wiring. This fits my H as he lost his F when he was 15 and then had an horrific accident which has had life long consequence in preventing from pursuing his chosen career - a nervous breakdown at 22. The next 28 yrs are ok but then buys a boat on impulse 7 years ago. This year BD!!
Seems to make sense and I'm all in favour of medical research to be taken very seriously.
  • Logged
BD march 2013
Stay at home MLCer
OW for 3.5 years - finishing Autumn 2016
Reconnection started 2017.
Separated 2022 (my choice because he wanted to live alone) and yet fully reconnected seeing each other often.

  • *****
  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 13334
  • Gender: Male
Re: MLC and the Medical Community
#18: May 31, 2013, 05:27:40 AM
I think the importance of this is that they are recognizing it.

What they are finding out really is not news.
We already knew most of this information, but the fact that it is not being swept under the rug is something that I see as a major find.

Jim Conway, Jed Diamond and others have already recognized much of this information.

I think that more awareness might be the best thing that can happen so the PUBLIC understand MLC,
or recognizes that it exists.
Once that happens there is a more of a possibility that something good might come from it.
  • Logged

S
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1959
  • Gender: Female
Re: MLC and the Medical Community
#19: May 31, 2013, 05:36:29 AM
I think the importance of this is that they are recognizing it.

What they are finding out really is not news.
We already knew most of this information, but the fact that it is not being swept under the rug is something that I see as a major find.

Jim Conway, Jed Diamond and others have already recognized much of this information.

I think that more awareness might be the best thing that can happen so the PUBLIC understand MLC,
or recognizes that it exists.
Once that happens there is a more of a possibility that something good might come from it.
Hear hear!!!!
  • Logged
BD 18th Oct 2009
exH Left home 9th April 2011
Split with OW3 (fiance) Jan 2016. (no break between OWs).

 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.