[Searching4Answers]

OW gets the gi n do things with H, laughs, has fun together man.. I'm the one that should get all of that n I don't.

This drives me crazy too. Then when the OW isn't around he wants me to go out and have fun with him!!!!

[Anjae]

holdinon2hope you get to see the depressed not wanting to live husband because he cannot show that side of him to OW. But if OW stays around long enough she will end up see that side of him.

He has put a fantasy up to OW he needs to stick with it. Until the day he no longer can.

Searching, some MLCers need constant "fun" and things that make them feel high. If OW is not around they may want the wife to go and have "fun" with them. They crave the rush and can't stop going for it. 

[holdinon2hope]

That must be what it is cause he had me go to his n the Ow's house...he n I were both risking a lot and it was like he really didnt care. So do I go ahead and listen to him when he is in that mood or what do i do?  I want him to know im here for him and I listen to him I just get sick of seeing that side.  I wanna se the happy good side again...I long to he a family again. Thanks for the help :-)

[echarle1]

New Question

Hope i have inked the thread correctly

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3664.0;all


H has not put the usual money in my bank acc (None) , im not sure what to do if it does not come in , i really do not want to contact h  , This is the longest i have gone as i always iniciate contact and h wants totally leaving alone

I Thought i might leave until monday , but how do i tackle this if its not on by then ?

[Searching4Answers]

**New Question**

My H is living at home and I would like to purchase a few of the recommended MLC books to read but am not sure if I should let him see them or not. It is kind of hard to hide them and I really hate how I feel when I hide things. How do those of you with H's still in the house find the support that you need? 

Any suggestions?

[panda]

***New Question***

I am roughly 7 months from BD; OW is on the scene, H is still at home. The thing that has been driving me crazy is H's selfishness and total disregard for me. Trying to explain to H that he is being disrespectful just brings out Monster; he looks at me like I am the one being unreasonable. It is boggling, I am so use to being able to reason with H that I get completely flustered. Anyway, a couple of things that I brought up a few weeks ago about being disregarded/disrespected that H considered me to be irrational/unreasonable about he has done a 180 on. He has become understanding 

Does anyone have any thoughts/ideas on why he would do this? Is he just cycling?

Searching,  I am 5 months past BD and I had monster for about 12 months beforehand, before I recognised it for what it was...He has turned considerate also within last few weeks and is a completely different personality- although not so much to give up OW.... I see it as progress in a way.  My H is also at home.

As for the MLC literature, I would not let your H see it unless you think he would be open to any kind of suggestions of advice/help... My H came across (actually he went snooping into my stuff) my info on depression.  It wasn't received very well and he became paranoid.

[OldPilot]

Personally I read almost every book from the library.
Learned how to order books interlibrary loan, and they  were all free.

I agree you should not show him this material.

Having an at home MLC'er is difficult.

[Searching4Answers]

Thanks Panda!

Searching,  I am 5 months past BD and I had monster for about 12 months beforehand, before I recognised it for what it was...He has turned considerate also within last few weeks and is a completely different personality- although not so much to give up OW.... I see it as progress in a way.  My H is also at home.

Looking back I had monster for quite awhile before BD. You don't realize what it is until you have some distance from it. I am glad to see him being more considerate but I don't want to get use to it  He apologizes often and they seem sincere but everyone says "Don't believe anything they say and half of what they do". {shrug}

[Searching4Answers]

Thanks OldPilot 

He has brought up the topic of MLC 3 times now on his own, always discounting it. I try to stay neutral when he does talk about it. I don't think that he is ready for it yet either but it is hard to lean on your support system with him home.

[1994]

I wouldn't show it... before I knew what I was doing, I put out some articles about emotional abandonment.

They were not received... they were ignored... her stuff was projected onto me.

Unfortunately you need to read these in your closet.