[Songanddance]

Searching - I too have H at home 4 months after BD and OW definitely on the scene. Last night I forced an issue (poor timing) and was told that the marriage wouldn't work - too late.
Today - very friendly, calm nice interested (hovering really) until Monster when I came to go out to a party.
Not sure what he thinks of me deep down inside - I hope that it is because he doesn't want to lose me. But I know that he is losing me while he lives at home as I am exhausted with this game and Panda has had much more monster from her H.
It's horrible and every day is full of eggshells and splinters of glass from the moment you wake to bedtime and I find it sad that I now can't wait to go to bed but for all the wrong reasons - the main one being that I can cry if I want to......

[Broken Open]

New Question

Background
I am new here but not new to MLC.  We were not married but were together for 10 years and worked together. BD was 4/12. Found out new GF 8/12. In 9/12 he told me he loved her, she was his soul mate and he was going to marry her. 4/13 they were engaged and will marry this month. We still work together, however, for the past year he has been going down hill. Not showing up at work, lying and saying he was out on job sites, calling in sick. The company has lost quite a bit of money due to this and demoted him 3 weeks ago. This week it was announced he was out on "extended personal leave".  He looks so depressed at work, unkept, can't focus.  I had a friend go to his Fiancé's FB account yesterday after the announcement and it shows they have been out every nite till 1and 2 am living it up. She's so in loooooove with him. 

Questions

1.  Is he faking this?  Can he really be one way at work and another way at home?
2.  We don't talk. He makes no effort to contact me since October. When we interacted at work, sometimes he was aloof and other times awkwardly friendly. The only contact we have is if I send an email. I don't talk personal just tidbits of wisdom to let him know I'm still a friend. I haven't sent many, but he never responds. Am I just wasting my time?  He's so in love with this girl and I think he blames me for his work woes.
3.  It doesn't seem that many MLCers have the issues at work like what he is having. 

Any thoughts on this?   

[trusting]

I am another vote for not letting him see the MLC material.  I have a live in and I try to keep it out of his viewing.  Yes, I have kept my MLC materials under the mattress.   

[living with Hope]

My MLC thinks he is in love with his OW but he is downloading apps on his phone for chat sites and dating sites this week.  (he is not aware that I am aware of any of this).

I don't understand.

[Anjae]

He is confused like all MLCers and needs lots of rush, feel good stuff and validation for as many women as he can.

Clearly he is not in love with OW no matter what he says.

[OldPilot]

So he is going to be cheating on the OW, clearly not good for their relationship.

I agree with Anne

[hopeandfaith]

I have been trying to find a link to Heartsblessings 6 stages if MLC but I am not having any luck. Can anybody help?

Thank you 

[OldPilot]

I have been trying to find a link to Heartsblessings 6 stages if MLC but I am not having any luck. Can anybody help?

Thank you 

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4.0

Post #7

[hopeandfaith]

Thanks OP 'oh wise one' 

[living with Hope]

So if he needs an ego stroking, a rush. What is it about me that is not good enough to provide that? Why does it have to come from strangers?