Author Topic: Discussion Guilt vs Remorse #2  (Read 61557 times)

Offline Beacon

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Discussion Re: Guilt vs Remorse #2
« Reply #140 on: February 25, 2016, 05:58:54 AM »
I think that in moments of clarity they say sorry and they do mean it but when the fog comes back over them that makes remorse impossible. My W has had a few moments of clarity when she has broke down sobbing saying "I'm so sorry, Ive F'd Up" and just holds me tight. I believe that she truly is sorry but hours later when the fog comes creeping back in that makes any signs of remorse impossible. Plus for my wife actually saying the words I'm sorry is very difficult for her and when she finally does say it she has reached down to the depths to pull those words out. it's very tricky and like many people have said you will know the difference when you see it.

Offline MIMIx

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Re: Guilt vs Remorse #2
« Reply #141 on: February 25, 2016, 11:18:52 AM »
I actually think that "guilt" holds our MLCer back.  They feel guilt, then they figure, in for a penny, in for a pound.  So they compound it.  Then they get angry, because we are MAKING them feel guilty. 

Yep, USELESS, TOXIC emotion!  Does more damage then good.

Hugs Stayed

Omg, so true.  I'm sure this applies to many, many who do not return or are a long time in returning.  Great post!

Offline Reallytrying

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Re: Guilt vs Remorse #2
« Reply #142 on: February 26, 2016, 05:28:24 AM »
I read that one of the reasons guilt holds them back is because it convinces them they are good people - prevents them from hitting bottom. "At least I feel guilty about all this". The guilt keeps them stuck essentially.


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