Hi everyone
i got sent this article from a website i joined thought it may be of help xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I've been having a big think this week, about how much we may struggle with wanting life to be a certain way, and ignoring what we know and feel in our hearts. When we do this we're in resistance to creating a happy and healthy life - which is the unfortunate side-effect of listening to and being controlled by our ego.
When we look at our model of the world, we can see the product of disconnection from our True Selves, oneness and the connection to life and others. It seems that the current global state is creating a great deal of pressure to survive - to keep trying to create life the way we think it should go - and many people feel like they're going around and around in the same circles which feel more and more difficult to live in.
Generally when we don't like our state of affairs and think they should be going a certain way - we feel a great deal of resistance. Yet this is counter-productive because whenever we have an emotional focus on pain and frustration we receive more of that.
In resistance we want to force something to happen rather than listening to the inner voice that is telling us This isn't the truth for you anymore. And as anyone knows (if they’ve applied self-awareness) that when we go against our inner voice we pay a painful price.
Egoic states and decisions are common amongst human kind. They are fear-based, and the need to control outer circumstances in order to try and feel better, rather than letting go and travelling with the flow of what our inner knowing is telling us and adapting to that, is the cause. As time goes on all of us will have to get more adept at listening to this inner voice rather than attempting to control our life the way we think it should go. Our emotional survival will depend on it.
It’s an incredible experience when we apply acceptance rather than resistance, and every time we make it a high priority to reach acceptance we open up to infinite wisdom and the truth. The truth we reach is registered on a knowing level that no longer needs analysis and data to get there - knowing means we just know it.
This is the highest level of processing information – it’s our inherent intuition that connects us to truth. We all have an inner guidance system that is our birthright. It's not mean to be argued out of existence by being trapped in the egoic fears, value systems and delusions that we can be so susceptible to.
When we resist our inner voice truth, we go into resistance. We start judging things, making excuses, and create stories in our head to ease the inner anxiety which indicates we’re going against our gut, and no matter how hard we try to improve things we stay stuck in what we're not happy with - and the battle against truth continues.
Let me give you an example. Let's say an individual is in a relationship she wants to work - yet it clearly isn't. There’s pain in this relationship. The inner dialogue is I'm not happy with this, and I have to make it better! and I'm not happy with this and it's his fault, and I'm going to tell him so! Her focus is: I'm not happy right now, and I'm not going to be until something changes. This, of course, may be a perfectly understandable human perception - yet is totally discordant in regard to changing her life with empowered creation. This lady has no ability to alter her circumstances whilst vibrating at this level no matter how hard she tries
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In every case of every individual I have met (including myself) who has empowered and healed after a disappointing relationship, there is a hindsight realisation that at the time they knew the relationship wasn't working. Yes, it may have been salvageable, but certainly operating from an egoic standpoint was never going to create change. In relation to narcissistic relationships where people applied egoic stubbornness to hang on (as I did), we all admitted later we knew the narcissist was a lost cause, and the relationship would fail.
The truth of the matter was: we didn't want to accept it.
It's only when we live outside of truth that life beats us up. Because when we accept the truth it does set us free - regardless of what that truth is. It sets us free because then we can choose who we are in relation to what it is, and be in the best possible position to create a healthy life.
Your first step to change something in your life causing you unhappiness is always acceptance. This acceptance is a statement of: I acknowledge and will deal with the truth. Immediately your ego (and we all have one) will feel like baulking, and going into denial. The ego pouts and says: I don't want to accept my relationship isn't working! I don't want to accept that I can't pay my bills!
In fact your ego is not going to want to accept anything it judges as wrong until something changes, and will refuse to feel okay until this happens.
Your ego holds life responsible, instead of taking responsibility.
Can you imagine getting your car stuck in a great big muddy hole, angrily putting your foot on the accelerator and only digging yourself deeper in the bog? This is what happens when we don't accept the truth of our life. Just like the car, when we're bogged we're no longer travelling down the path we want to be on. If we get frustrated and try and force the car to keep going it doesn't work.
What does work is getting out of the car as calmly and peacefully as possible, acknowledging there is a problem, then deciding what the solutions are to get out of the hole.
All of your life is no different. If you focus on the problem whilst in resistance and don't get your focus onto solutions, your position gets worse. It's crucial to realise this is your car and you are the driver of it, you are not driving someone else's car and you have no power to take over their car and steer it in the directions you want -you only have control of your own centre of influence which ultimately is yourself.
When confronted with anything in your life that you're not enjoying get out of your resistance to it. Take the awareness that you don't want this particular experience and then stop wrestling with it. Stop trying to fix, change, cling to or force change from something or someone outside of yourself. Accept it is what it and then from this place of acceptance listen to what this situation is telling you - and accept the answer that you know at an inner level- regardless of whether or not you like it.
From this space you can align with focusing on the positive solutions that relate to you and empower yourself.
Egoic fears and control are a condition of human life. They are not purely the model of a narcissist. It's a fact that narcissists and people acting co-dependently struggle with their egos, and the result is exactly the same - falseness, illusions and pain.
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Inspirational Thoughts