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Author Topic: MLC Monster REPLAY

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MLC Monster REPLAY
OP: September 02, 2013, 10:49:08 AM
Escape & Avoid
- Stage which is the longest in the MLC.
- Stage which is most painful for LBS.
- Stage where is MONSTER dominant and powerful.
- Stage where is cycle behavior unbelievable.
- Stage which is mostly very unknown for LBS.
- If You don't know where is Your MLC-er then You will find him in REPLAY.

I have resources from my MLCer, FB and blog. Also my observations because my MLCer living at home. So I will try to drill down this stage REPLAY into fragments at least for my case.

I will like to everyone who is interested in this contribute with own experience.
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Re: REPLAY
#1: September 02, 2013, 12:08:00 PM
Excellent breakdown of what replay is.

In my case Replay has been all of the life I spent with him so that's about 30 years...
So do I have any hope of him coming out of it

Ahh-Naw- I gotta call the po po  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D That's the only cure for what ails him!
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.

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Re: REPLAY
#2: September 02, 2013, 12:40:57 PM
My SO enter in replay after her birthday fall of year 2011.
She refuse hugs, touching, holding hands daily.
Start to emotionally detach self from me.
She have sudden statements when we drive in car: "Find Your self another women." Also, enter into house after work and said: "I can't live like this anymore."
Ask her where and with who to celebrate New Year 2012. she said that we will  be home alone. In midnight we kiss each other, she start to cry, ask her why she crying she did not answer...
She start to escape from house when ever she can. Avoid home works.
She said that she have perfect week when me and kids are in same shift and she is in opposite.
She said that she should never been married and should live alone.
She stop calling me at work, emailing and so on. She go inward detaching from world where belong - old life and start to build new one - imaginary.
We had sex whole 2012 regularly.
At fall of 2012, after her birthday she start EA over internet.

SHE NEED WHOLE YEAR being in Escape & Avoid to reach EA.

At New Year 2013. we again being alone and she cry again.
In 2013. no sex anymore.

So, in my case bomb drop is at her birthday 2011. That is the point when Escape and avoid start.
EA start at her birthday 2012. Whole year she doing something unknown in replay.
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« Last Edit: September 02, 2013, 12:45:48 PM by Albatross »

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Re: REPLAY
#3: September 03, 2013, 01:28:59 PM
According to Jung, the shadow, in being instinctive and irrational, is prone to projection: turning a personal inferiority into a perceived moral deficiency in someone else. Jung writes that if these projections are unrecognized "The projection-making factor (the Shadow archetype) then has a free hand and can realize its object--if it has one--or bring about some other situation characteristic of its power."

These projections insulate and cripple individuals by forming an ever thicker fog of illusion between the ego and the real world.

he shadow may appear in dreams and visions in various forms, and typically 'appears as a person of the same sex as that of the dreamer'. The shadow's appearance and role depend greatly on the living experience of the individual. Interactions with the shadow in dreams may shed light on one's state of mind. A conversation with the shadow may indicate that one is concerned with conflicting desires or intentions.

I notice that my wife cycle depend how she awake. For example she can be bad one in the morning. After nap she can be old self. Shadow influence.


If 'the breakdown of the persona constitutes the typical Jungian moment both in therapy and in development', it is this which opens the road to the shadow within, coming about when 'Beneath the surface a person is
suffering from a deadly boredom that makes everything seem meaningless and empty ... as if the initial encounter with the Self casts a dark shadow ahead of time'.

"The shadow personifies everything that the subject refuses to acknowledge about himself" and represents "a tight passage, a narrow door, whose painful constriction no one is spared who goes down to the deep well". If and when 'an individual makes an attempt to see his shadow, he becomes aware of (and often ashamed of) those qualities and impulses he denies in himself but can plainly see in others — such things as egotism, mental laziness, and sloppiness; unreal fantasies, schemes, and plots; carelessness and cowardice; inordinate love of money and possessions — ... painful and lengthy work of self-education".

The dissolution of the persona and the launch of the individuation process also brings with it 'the danger of falling victim to the shadow ... the black shadow which everybody carries with him, the inferior and therefore hidden aspect of the personality' — of a merger with the shadow.

Individuation inevitably raises that very possibility. As the process continues, and 'the libido leaves the bright upper world ... sinks back into its own depths...below, in the shadows of the unconscious', so too what comes to the forefront is 'what was hidden under the mask of conventional adaptation: the shadow', with the result that 'ego and shadow are no longer divided but are brought together in an — admittedly precarious — unity'.

The impact of such 'confrontation with the shadow produces at first a dead balance, a standstill that hampers moral decisions and makes convictions ineffective... tenebrositas, chaos, melancholia'. Consequently (as Jung knew from personal experience) 'in this time of descent — one, three, seven years, more or less — genuine courage and strength are required'

We begin to travel [up] through the healing spirals...straight up'. Here the struggle is to retain awareness of the shadow, but not identification with it. 'Non-identification demands considerable moral effort...prevents a descent into that darkness'; but though 'the conscious mind is liable to be submerged at any moment in the unconscious... understanding acts like a life-saver. It integrates the unconscious' - reincorporates the shadow into the personality, producing a stronger, wider consciousness than before. 'Assimilation of the shadow gives a man body, so to speak', and provides thereby a launching-pad for further individuation. 'The integration of the shadow, or the realization of the personal unconscious, marks the first stage of the analytic process...without it a recognition of anima and animus is impossible'. Conversely 'to the degree to which the shadow is recognized and integrated, the problem of the anima, i.e., of relationship, is constellated ', and becomes the center of the individuation quest.
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Re: REPLAY
#4: September 03, 2013, 01:52:40 PM
Is it possible to be in replay before BD and what do you think is the shortest time replay can take?
I hate replay >:(   Will replay always involve an affair?  So many questions.  Do I just stop looking for answers?
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My god this ride is bumpy but imagine the relief when we get off!

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Re: REPLAY
#5: September 03, 2013, 02:01:31 PM
Is it possible to be in replay before BD and what do you think is the shortest time replay can take?
I hate replay >:(   Will replay always involve an affair?  So many questions.  Do I just stop looking for answers?

I am 100% positive that replay begins unnoticed by spouse in most cases. In my case my wife obviously very tough woman enter in replay year before EA. Because we was always so close I notice even her beginning of MLC in year 2007. So she was in previous stages 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, and finally she start to run from own shadow in 2011. Very tough woman indeed. :D
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Re: REPLAY
#6: September 03, 2013, 02:41:55 PM
As all You can see libido fall in shadow. Shadow blame LBS, and project on LBS. That is obvious why they treat us as raw meat, no any affection at all. So there come "I love You but not in love with You."
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Re: REPLAY
#7: September 03, 2013, 02:58:03 PM
As all You can see libido fall in shadow. Shadow blame LBS, and project on LBS. That is obvious why they treat us as raw meat, no any affection at all. So there come "I love You but not in love with You."

Please elobrate on this. Are you saying that the libido is tied into the 'love' that our spouses have for us? Sex = love sort of thing? So that is why we get treated as sexual objects?
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We all do damage. Character is determined by how we repair it.


BD - December 2012
OW1 confirmed - December 2012 on-and-off for 34 months and counting (still refers to her as just a 'friend')
Wants to live like roommates - November 2013
I moved out - April 2015
H is still checking the anchor

P
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Re: REPLAY
#8: September 03, 2013, 03:03:34 PM
This has been very helpful. I can read my H's behaviour in this. I would love to show him this information, but I can't because he is meant to find this out himself. I was just told again that he doesn't know if he wants to go home or stay away. he doesn't know what he wants to do but looks miserable being away (8months now). Also said I love you, I'm not in love. Would you recommend saying anything to him about the Shadow's work? PG
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M:1994
BD: 31st Dec 2012..Happy New Year!
"I want a new love, I want to take risks, I want a new relationship with the kids"...thanks, what's wrong with the one you had???

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Re: REPLAY
#9: September 03, 2013, 05:53:22 PM
My H was definitely in replay before BD...he admitted EA during one BD.....crisis. had..started years before. Knew something was "off"...crazy stuff!
31
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Hurting people hurt people :(

 

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