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Author Topic: Mirror-Work Something for Men

B
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Mirror-Work Re: Something for Men II
#60: October 23, 2013, 06:31:18 AM
Quote from: in it on October 22, 2013, 09:00:53 PM
http://www.midlifebachelor.com/articles/whentosendflowers1.html

Here we go... who wants to buy into this $hit?

All the good stuff is in their forum.
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Re: Something for Men II
#61: October 23, 2013, 06:33:58 AM
That's GREAT Brave Heart!! I'm glad I finally found a website that was helpful!
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
r
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Re: Something for Men II
#62: October 23, 2013, 07:40:06 AM
5 part article on when to buy flowers..wow..it's not that hard..but ultimately it doesn't matter..my wife got flowers almost every month for 19 years..(just bouquets..I saved roses for Valentine's etc)..and I missed one special date in 19 years..despite the noise they make about it..it doesn't matter
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Re: Something for Men II
#63: October 23, 2013, 07:44:11 AM
 I've said through the years NEEDS CHANGE and they do for YOU GUYS ALSO.

What would you guys want a woman to do for you after a fight etc? And other situations this website presents?
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
r
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Re: Something for Men II
#64: October 24, 2013, 12:54:26 PM

“Patty  had married “a really great guy,” but by the time their 13th anniversary rolled around, she had a long list of things he needed to change to make the marriage work. At 34, she felt depressed, frantic—and guilty, as Rod was fighting a chronic disease. But she had reached a breaking point. “I read my husband my list of unmet needs and suggested a divorce,” even though what she really wanted was her marriage back. “I wanted to feel loved again. But it didn’t seem possible.”

She has had a long time to think about that list. Her husband died the next day, a freak side effect of his medications. “He was gone, but the list remained. Out of perhaps 30 needs, only one was eased by losing him. I was free now to move the drinking glasses next to the sink.”

from Psychology today
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R
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Re: Something for Men II
#65: October 24, 2013, 01:52:04 PM
How do you respond to THAT! lol

Hey, people are 'needy'. That's forever i guess.... hmmmm.

Show's you the POWER of the mind!  :o
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Re: Something for Men II
#66: October 24, 2013, 02:55:24 PM
Yeah I'm a little lost also. I read it earlier.

 Can someone explain what they think about that story?..explain it to me like I'm 6.

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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
r
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Re: Something for Men II
#67: October 24, 2013, 03:09:28 PM
its an anecdote I found..to me it means .. the issue wasn't her husband..nothing was 'better' when he was gone...and while what she wanted was a better marriage..her solution was to ask for a divorce..
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Re: Something for Men II
#68: October 24, 2013, 03:13:16 PM
I guess it's that communication thing again..huh?
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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Re: Something for Men II
#69: October 24, 2013, 04:10:34 PM
Quote from: in it on October 24, 2013, 03:13:16 PM
I guess it's that communication thing again..huh?
No, communication was not the problem. She was communicating, she communicated her list of needs to him. She spelt it all out in a list.

The article goes on to say:
As she read through the list the morning after he died, she realized that "marriage isn't about my needs or his needs or about how well we communicate about our needs. It's about loving and being loved. Life is about meeting (or letting go of) my own needs. Marriage is about loving another person and receiving love in return. It suddenly became oh so clear that receiving love is something I make happen, not him." And then she was flooded with memories of all the times "I'd been offered love by this wonderful man and rejected it because I was too wrapped up in whatever need I was facing at the time."
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201003/the-expectations-trap
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Me 52,T 34,M 28
D 26, S23
BD 19th Aug 2010
Moved out 4th Dec 2010
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