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Author Topic: Discussion Ask a Mentor 7

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Discussion Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#20: November 16, 2013, 05:42:04 AM
Not feeling well today.just want to give up.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4140.0

Answer on your thread - OldPilot
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« Last Edit: November 16, 2013, 05:51:13 AM by OldPilot »
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#21: November 17, 2013, 07:15:06 AM
Possible touch-n-go!  Not sure what to do and could use some guidance.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3608.0;all#lastPost
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The very purpose of our life is happiness, which is sustained by hope. We have no guarantee about the future, but we exist in the hope of something better. Hope means keeping going, thinking, ‘I can do this.’ It brings inner strength, self-confidence, the ability to do what you do honestly, truthfully and transparently.  The Dalai Lama
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#22: November 17, 2013, 07:48:29 PM
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#23: November 23, 2013, 11:30:37 PM
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H 35
Me 34
Son 5
Together 11 years
married 7
MLC symptoms 2-3 years ago but didn't know what it was at the time
First BD, but i didn't recognized ; March 2013
OW confirmed, through his emails ; 1st Aug. 2013
Moved in with OW and took our son with him ; 5th or 6th August
H and OW split up and he left her house ; 12th Oct. 2013
Now H living alone near where he works
"Everything happened at the same time and I feel like my head is going to explode. Since my dad died i feel like life is too short.I don't know what I want in life anymore. What makes me happy. I can't give you answer for anything right now. I just want to be happy. I don't know if i still love you. But i want you to be honest with yourself of what you want "....and so on
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#24: November 26, 2013, 08:51:19 AM
I could really use some input on my thread:

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4187.60

I don't want to be roommates forever  :(

Thanks
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We all do damage. Character is determined by how we repair it.


BD - December 2012
OW1 confirmed - December 2012 on-and-off for 34 months and counting (still refers to her as just a 'friend')
Wants to live like roommates - November 2013
I moved out - April 2015
H is still checking the anchor
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#25: November 26, 2013, 04:44:20 PM
Hi - I started a thread on the community board but, it was my first post and I'm not sure I did it right. I have a heart instead of the book beside the post - probably because I changed ithe message icon to "interacting with your MCLer". I don't know how to change it or how to link it to this thread.

Help  :o

You did great. :)  I changed it to the book icon.  Welcome here! - Ready2Transform
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« Last Edit: November 26, 2013, 04:51:01 PM by Ready2Transform »
"The Reckoning- Time has got a little bill - get wise while yet you may, for the debit sides increasing in a most alarming way; the things you had no right to do, the things you should have done, they're all put down; it's up to you to pay for every one. So eat, drink and be merry, have a good time if you will, But God help you when the time comes and you have to foot the bill." - Robert Service
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#26: November 28, 2013, 10:39:24 PM
Isn't 13mths of separation and yet still nothing from my W , enough ?

l've stayed loyal to us , although l haven't told her that because l've had nothing from her.
She's still in her rental , no talk of us , nothing .
l see her 2 or 3 times a wk either picking up or dropping of my d and l visit d there and hang out with her 3 or 4hrs over at x's rental
and x is usually around to.
But l don't want to be in that place truth be know but never the less. Nothing us , from x in all this time .

Is it time to just move on ?
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Together 19yrs
BD, 2012
Divorce 16mths later
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#27: November 28, 2013, 11:28:53 PM
Quote from: hawk on November 28, 2013, 10:39:24 PM
Is it time to just move on ?

Only you can answer this question.  As far as MLC goes, 13 months is still a very short amount of time, I'm afraid.  I thought my husband would be a quick returner - I'm now at 28 months, still in replay.  My suggestion is that you focus on yourself so your heart can better hear what path to take.  You may come to feel that she needs more time to work through her issues, and even though you can't see 'movement' in front of you, it would be worth it to give more space before making a life altering decision.  Or, you may see that it's time you take a different road, and be able to more confidently step onto it.
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D
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#28: November 29, 2013, 06:54:43 PM
Hawk it is too soon to expect anything I am on 2 yrs 7 months and no end in site. I battle the decision every day when I feel loney and know he has OW.

I have a question. For Thanksgiving I did not say anything to H. I usually text or he texts me in a group text. This time he only called kids. Do we ignore holidays with them? Or do we send the text, email, or card that we do to friends and family. Honestly I sent nothing to anyone. Only responded to texts I got. Just not feeling it that day.

This my thread http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4140.0
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#29: November 29, 2013, 07:14:41 PM
I personally think you should feel it out and do what feels right.  Since you didn't do it for anyone else, I wouldn't purposely have done anything for him either.  I didn't have any correspondence with my MLCer, didn't last year either, and I don't feel that will effect the journey one bit.  Perhaps when he is in a different place in the tunnel that will change, but for now this feels right.
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