[who thinks they know the sourse of their spouses shadow/crisis?]

who thinks they know the sourse of their spouses shadow/crisis?

Me, pick me, i know!, i know!

10 (90.9%)

I haven't a clue!

1 (9.1%)

Total Members Voted: 11

Voting closed: November 21, 2013, 05:01:33 PM

[Shaggy]

who thinks they know the sourse of their spouses shadow/crisis.

[Slow Fade]

I think it was the fact that my h was never good enough for his mother. He always lived in the shadow of his younger brother. Now h is following in brothers footsteps; leave wife and children, divorce and dote on mommie dearest.

Wife was just in the way and never accepted by mommie. One had to go, I guess it was me.

[in it]

FOO ISSUES

[Anjae]

Shaggy, your two polls are identical. You need to pick one. I can integrated the post of one into the other but cannot leave the two polls into one same thread. Thank you.

[Shaggy]

Anjae
 how do i pull the other one?

[Medusa]

H was 14 when his dad died. He told me that's what this is all about. He even said he's lived his entire live in the shadow of his day's ghost.

[LoveMeMyself]

I'm not sure I really know the deep rooted reason.......but I'm guessing it's my exH's mom........after she passed away (2 yrs. prior BD)......several childhood memories resurfaced.  My exH told me after he left me that he was always "expected" to keep peace with all the siblings.  He said he was tired of always trying to keep everyone happy other than himself.  He also told me that he felt like he is codependent and blamed his mother for that also.  He is a twin and I know it's difficult being a twin.....especially of the same sex.  I can imagine there was always some competition between him and his brother.  I have a female friend who is also a twin/girls.......and she has expressed how difficult it can be.

But, with all that said, my exH has also stated that he guesses he is just like his dad.......who left his mom, divorced and remarried.........the OW.  They didn't have a good relationship for many years (exH was 17 when this happened).  My exH made amends when his father was on his death bed.  My exH also expressed to me that he has never learned how to process issues and let them go.  I guess this is more than enough to cause a crisis.

[panda]

I am fairly sure its because my H was placed into a fairly strict boarding school before he was 10 years old whilst his parents flew off abroad to live.  Alot of the holidays they didn't even come back and he went off to family to stay with them instead. 

[BB64]

I am fairly sure its because my H was placed into a fairly strict boarding school before he was 10 years old whilst his parents flew off abroad to live.  Alot of the holidays they didn't even come back and he went off to family to stay with them instead.

That's really quite sad. No wonder he will only stick to a small bag at a time....

[panda]

Booboo - never thought of it like that before.  Big bag means longer time away...makes sense if you look at it that way.....