[Jackolar12]

Hi all can we try to define how far in is bomb drop,some say it's the start,others half way mark, can we have an informed debate about this please, and can someone make this a sticky topic for me,or tell me how to do it .
Regards
Jackolar 12

[calamity]

Start here:
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4.0

I would say from all I've read & hindsight that BD occurs years after the beginnings of a midlife crisis.  My h started to show irritability & depression about 3 to 5 years before BD.  It seems that timeline is fairly typical; it takes years to build up to a point where the mlcer goes looking for 'remedies'.

[Jackolar12]

Hi Calamity, thanks for the contribution my ex started to act out of character in 2008 and dropped the bomb 7/11/2011 I remember it well it's etched in my soul,I hope other members will give their views on time lines.
Regards
Jackolar12

[Jackolar12]

Hi old pilot how do I get to stick this thread to the first page of the forum for feed back?
Jackolar12

[Mac49]

Jack:

From my experience Bomb Drop did not occur until I started questioning my X's activities. I think it is more a response to the LBS's actions than an indicator of location on the MLC path.

Mac

[Jackolar12]

Thanks Mac the ex blindsided me I did not see anything strange,but with hindsight she didn't come home from her work party till the early hour about two years before,perhaps it was the start of her infidelity.
After bomb drop she went for it big time.
Regards
Jack

[living with Hope]

I am intrigued by this topic. 
In hindsight,  I would have to say that my husband was in a slow descent into the crisis for a few years before bomb drop.  We had a mini bomb drop just shy of a year prior to the actual bomb drop. 
I too was blindsided by the bomb drop but I saw the signs of discontent with his life and his anger for a long time prior but the anger and discontent was not ever solely directed at me except for that mini bomb drop that made no sense to me at all.  If only I had known...

Thank you for starting this thread and I am very interested to see everyone's replies.

Hugs.

[Jackolar12]

Hi Living With Hope everyone's contribution will be great and I'm sure we will gather some useful info from this, your contribution has reminded me about a car accident my ex and son were in towards the end of 2008. When I arrived at the scene my wife and son were in the ambulance and I only asked what happened and the ex jumped down my throat which was totally out of character for her as she was the Mary pop pins type,and after your contribution this may have been a mini bomb drop,she actually mentioned this in monster spew after the main bomb went off, so I see this as linked,keep the intel coming everyone and let's bounce ideas about and find commonalities.
Regards
Jackolar 12

[Searching4Answers]

I think the MLC started at least 1 1/2 - 2 years before BD; BD was December 2012 so looking back it probably started early 2011 or late 2010. I think BD occurred because H had finally found a willing OW; he had the now or never attitude, he met OW early November 2012. He had been looking at dating sites for good 2-3 years though. It is hard to look back and pin point the beginning, it has been so long since I have seen the H that I fell for  it happens so slowly in the beginning that we don't really recognize anything going on.

As far as when BD occurs in the scheme of things, I tend to think it is somewhere around 1/2-3/4point. It takes a few years of everything coming to a head, then boom we get BD. BD begins replay that averages about 2 years or so, then you have the time that they are coming out of the tunnel, not sure what the average time is for that. I'm think probably 1-2 years. So 2-3 years before BD, 2-3 years replay, 1-2 years post replay; 6-7 years total. Just my thoughts on it 

[Serendipity]

I think mine started to slowly descend a few years before bd. really slowly. My laid back h would get overwhelmed easily. Found a new group of friends, the drinking started, he wanted to eat better, run and talked about dying his hair black for a long time. Thank goodness he never did.  He also wasn't really a family man. 

Problem is, because he started disconnecting and started his MLC years ago, he says he's been living a lie and has been miserable for a long time. Prob is he's right. Does it ever dawn on them that their depression/MLC was what was making them miserable?  I think that really counts against my case! He HAS truly been unhappy for a long time. Because he's been in MLC.

So are we saying that the three years prior to bd counts towards the estimated timeframe of 2-7 years??