[trusting]

So are we saying that the three years prior to bd counts towards the estimated timeframe of 2-7 years??

No, I believe BD really starts the time frame.  I am pretty sure there is an article about this (or a blog).  We can't really qualify when their MLC started if you are talking about the dissatisfaction with life that is pre-BD. 

It definitely takes time for their MLC to simmer to a head when they drop the bomb or start replay activities.  In hindsight, I can see that my H was noticeably detaching from our family more than a year prior to BD.  His dissatisfaction with his job which has been a huge part of his MLC started even a couple of years prior to BD. 

I think that replay lasts a lot longer than 2 years in pretty much all MLCers. 

[holdinon2hope]

I think my H's started after my dad passed away in 2010..he withdrew, got to where he wouldn't do things that he used to do..like gardening, fishing, hunting, playing with the kids..H just really changed.  I left n took the boys shortly after that, then I had told Hbi had an affair a cpl yrs before that n H really went to crap after that.  So in my case, I think it started about 3 yrs before H actually physically left home.

[Lanzo]

Hi Jockolar,
We are now just into 2014 and I am involved in a protracted D with W  but let me throw some so time lines out at you (this is a concise version of my time lines)
1993: W and I met (we had really fun times together)
1995: W and I got engaged we had good times but we always seemed to have little fallouts where either of us sulked for weeks.
1997:Married we argued on our honeymoon
1998 W walked out on me  and went to her mothers, however we got back together when I agree to sell my house and buy one with W.
2001: We have D12, very bad pregnancy we nearly lost both of them. When W better and D12 at home, out of the blue I get a venomus spew from W which shock me to the core, it was so abusive towards me and my family that I had to write down every word she said because I knew its significance would be explained in future years. This was the first appearance of monster but it disappeared and was not seen again for a few years.
2004: W screamed at me this marriage is over and we had a long period  of no talking.
2005: I discovered PA just as it started, it carried on through 2006 as EA even though we tried to reconsile.
2007: ILYBNILWY The EA went back to PA continued but ends.   W attempts to reconcile. Also dis cover a PA ongoing since 1999 “someone she talked to about our marriage problems”.
2009: I tell W F off I’ve had enough but she begs me to stay in the M.
2010: We are still together but  FIL sick with Cancer, my mother suffering with diabetes and heart failure, no time for us to look at our problems.
2011: Both parents die, I discover W still in contact OM from 2005 so I tell her its over. W first begs me to stay then wants to D but does nothing about it.
2013: W involved with OM#2 and files for a D. OM bins W after 9 months.
2014: D ongoing and W trying to screw me for every penny I have.   

see if you can pick a BD out of all that.

Lanzo

[Madmax]

My H was really thrown into depression with my father's death, too.  Also his son left for college, he ruptured a disc in his back and needed surgery, I was traveling when this happened and he thought I was having an affair.  All of this happened within a 6 month timeframe about three years ago. He started blaming me for everything Summer of 2012, affair started in Jan. 2013, I found out in February.  We've reconciled off and on since then and he hasn't moved out because of money.  I'm not so sure it is MLC or if he has just been unhappy with our marriage for a long time and never expressed it.

[hobo1]

Lanzo....   Must say that it's a roller coaster of a relationship for 10 plus years.  Is it MLC?

[Lanzo]

Lanzo....   Must say that it's a roller coaster of a relationship for 10 plus years.  Is it MLC?

Yes, I now know it as MLC, prior to that I thought she was just a WAW, 2007 to 2010 I was on the DB site and employed all of their techniques, that along with our parent illness and quite a few stand offs where neither of us did anything probably delayed her journey by a few years.

Lanzo

WAW =Walk away wife

[Learning strength]

I would say my BD was about 6-8 months into crisis, looking back now there were signs that I didnt recognize as MLC till BD

[Jackolar12]

That's a really good point broken heart any one got some input we can use ?
Love and hopes Jackolar

[Jackolar12]

Hi broken hart I have not got an accurate view to give you at the momment let's see what this thread brings it seems to be a sticky topic lets hope my mentor ,Ready To Transform can help me on this as it seems so important to everyone.
Regards
Jackolar 12

[Jackolar12]

Hi everyone it seems this thread is really important to everyone can Roller Coaster make it a sticky thread at the front of the forum for nubees to access to give them guidance in this nightmare.
Love and hope jackolar