[Ready2Transform]

Probably wrong place to post,but I don't know what's happening. After several months if texts,and stopping by at least once every few weeks to check on animals, he would even stay for an hour or two. Now in the last month. Nothing. Maybe a text once a week.

Why the sudden vanisher? I'm spiraling down into deep depression again. It's like being left all over.
Wth goes thru thier minds?

It's not uncommon for the contact type to change over time, and with little warning.  It is important to focus on yourself so you will cycle less when this happens.  It's hard to say what may be going through his mind, but by stabilizing yourself, your day to day life will become less dependent on it.

[Kat0465]

Thank you for answering me,honestly,I'm ready to check myself in the psych ward. This cycling thing really has hit me hard. Like at first BD.

[Ready2Transform]

{{{hugs}}} Kat.  Detachment is hard.  That is an understatement!  Be gentle with yourself.  I am three years in and still have my moments.  We're human, we love them, and suddenly they yank themselves out of our lives.  It's shock, pure and simple. 

[Thunder]

Ready2,

You are so right.  It literally took me close to 2 1/2 years to get the "detachment" thing.
I think it's a matter of self survival.
You either detach or spend the rest of your days in misery.

Choose joy, Kat.  Try to shake loose from being a victim.
You don't need a psych ward.  Just try to let go for now.  You have a long time to work this out.  No rush.

If you need to talk to a counselor then do it, but do it for you, not to get answers on how to get your H back.  Counselors don't have those kind of answers.  Their just there to help YOU.

[Kat0465]

Ready2,
Detachment is the hardest thing I've ever done. Sometimes I wish I knew the secret they have on how they do it without batting an eye. 

It's been a year this month he BD. 8 months since I kicked him out. I can't imagine 3 years!

Thanks for your help 

[Kat0465]

Thunder,

They seem to take our joy with them when they go. Although I have better days now. Some are just plain misery.

Did the counseling thing,for a month. Right at BD.before I knew Mlc was a real thing.
She did say, get a life. You can't fix him,he's nuts, no bargaining with God. She never brought up MLC but it sounds like she had a sneaking suspicion he was in it.especially when I told her how it went down,

Like he literally flipped a switch.they have to be terribly unhappy,I don't know who looks more miserable,us or them 

[Strive to survive]

Hello apologies if I haven't posted correctly but am new to this. My H moved in with OW last week and away from area I have been advised to detach and only communicate when I have to. My teenage son wants to contact his dad but doesn't know what to do for the best are children of MLCERS supposed to detach as well. I find it hard and don't want them to go through even more pain then they are at present, if they contact H first is this feeding monster or not xx

[xyzcf]

Strive to survive, I am answering on your thread

[Wounded Bird]

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=5243.50

See my thread! Having a rough weekend! Thanks!

Answered on your thread.

limitless

[jacypods]

I'm sort of in a crisis right now regarding my MLC husband, our kids, and being at the same small events with the OW. I have an event tonight and tomorrow night. Any help would be greatly appreciated. More details in my thread.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=5468.0